Girls, how do you rate guys? (according to the 'ladder theory')

The 'ladder theory' states girls rate guys based on how much money and power the have, then comes their looks. Lastly comes other other things that "girls pretend to care about but they don't actually care, like personality and intelligence".

Personally I think this is true to a certain extent. I seem to do it subconsciously. when I first started dating my boyfriend (of 3 years now), I was not interested in him for anything else rather than how attractive and popular he was (and subconsciously what kind of car he was driving-looking back at it!). But eventually I fell in love, for he makes me laugh and indeed, makes me a very happy girl.

Are we really truly all that shallow?

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Oh I forgot to add that this rating process is a subconscious one.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think that the ladder theory is wrong, but I don't like it lol. It was developed by a sociologist, and he didn't go as in-depth as some psychologists have, and I'm a bit biased towards psychology...

    Psychology studies on attraction show that looks and personality are important to men and women, but men care more about looks, and women will trade in on looks for things like status and wealth. That doesn't mean they're the most important factors when it comes to attraction though. The ladder theory seems to assume that people are shallow and out to find someone who they can get something from. According to evolutionary psychology, people aren't looking out for themselves, they're subconsciously thinking about potential offspring. Men like attractive women because it's a sign of health--a healthy woman is less likely to have problems with fertility, and more likely to give birth to healthy children. Women look for men with money and power because they're more likely to be able to provide for and protect their families.


What Guys Said 1

  • Yes we are, but because it makes us feel like bad people we lie to ourselves about it and then, having superficially convinced ourselves, we set out to posture for others. Just look at 99% of the answers on this site. Basically the truth is in the posts that have been down-arrowed the most.

    • Yeah I feel so bad for being so shallow! -_-'

    • Don't. Fighting and denying your innermost nature will lead to misery; only by following it may you find happiness. You must pardon yourself and your fellow humans, and accept that the rules of attraction are dictated to us not by ourselves but by the core of our being, of which we are only the result, and never the master.

What Girls Said 1

  • please this was written by some bitter guy thinking he can speak for all women. he sure doesn't speak for me. I am not that shallow. I care about money only to the extent that I want him to be financially independent and can keep up with the lifestyle I currently have. I care about personality. maybe moronic females with no self respect don't but I can't tolerate a guy that's a jerk or treats me with less than respect. a guy doesn't have to be super math genius but he has to at least have common sense and be capable of rational thought.

    if a guy is attractive and popular I am going to notice him more in a social setting. DUH! if I'm at a party or club, the guy I will notice the most is the one having a good time and being the most fun. why is that a bad thing? don't men look at women in the same way, I'm pretty sure they do, everyone does. that doesn't mean I will only date a guy because he's attractive and popular, but those are traits that catch your eye. that's not shallow, something has to draw you in.