How to care more about my appearence?

How do I start caring more about my appearance? Now, I pretty much "just get by" looking very blah $
& plain, but not sloppy.

I don't know how to build motivation to be as hot as possible. I know that looks are the main things guys care about, but it depresses me to know how it overshadows everything else, so I don't bother with the extra effort and just stay single.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Look at fashion websites and go shopping for motivation.

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What Guys Said 6

  • It would really help to know what you look like. What many women call "plain" I call girl-next-door natural and I (and a lot of other men) think that look is very hot. You may be selling yourself short.

    Besides, women are much more attendant to style than men, who are far more likely to notice your shape. Draping the latest Paris fashions over a drooping, lumpy figure will do little good.

    The best thing you can do is stay in shape or get there if you are not already. No one expects you to look like Scarlett Johansson (especially after 30 and kids), just take care of yourself and you will be noticeable in a T-shirt and jeans.

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    • That's part of where I'm unmotivated. I'm neither fat not fit, but putting in the extra effort seems to have escaped me. My last ex boyfriend was super critical and complained about everything (even when I was fit - I could always be better!), so that may be part of it.

    • Hmmm. Your past boyfriend sounds like part of the problem. He was bad for your self-esteem.

      I have been athletic all my life and have advised scores of people. I like to say that you have to keep the "fun-fitness connection." In other words, as soon as conditioning becomes drudgery, it is only a matter of time before you lapse.

      You don’t necessarily have to boost weights for 2 hours or chain yourself to a treadmill for 5 miles. Try jazz dancing or spinning or hiking. Just get and stay active and eat a healthy diet (organic, low on the chain). Your body will look great!

    • That's a good point. I have been athletic up until the past two years, too... But maybe it's because my sense of dread over needing to be better looking and never measuring up wiped out the fun of it. So maybe finding the fun is key, very good point.

  • not all guys...

    but i guess some pic could help so we could make some suggestions :)

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    • I know what I need: lose some weight, stop just throwing on whatever and putting more effort into my hair (it's just long & straight). It's that I don't feel motivated to make the effort. :S

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    • @lonelylillie13 u r normal.. not too thin

    • Once you're a good weight, then you need a bigger ass or bigger boobs or prettier hair or smoother skin. There is just always something wrong.

  • We need photos. you can hide your eyes or even face if you want. It's just to see how you present yourself in the overall.

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    • My struggle isn't not knowing what to do, it's being motivated to actually do it. What motivates you?

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    • Maybe Zyzz can help you out lol:
      "I can safely say that my motivation to train goes far beyond that of merely impressing people, it is derived from the feeling of having set goals and achieving them and outdoing myself in the gym. I absolutely love it, the feeling of pushing out that last rep, and getting skin tearing pumps is something I don't see myself without."

      Zyzz - R. I. P

    • Thanks for sharing that. Also, you brought up a good point - makeup is just a habit for me at this point and exercise and other things can become the same.

  • Hire a kid to follow you around and insult you maybe.
    Less guys care about looks then you'd think. Otherwise the population would be
    a lot lower then it is.

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    • Haha! That's a funny solution - very creative!

    • Yeah too bad creative ideas aren't worth much these days. Glad you got a laugh out of it though

  • Every man is different. So rye way I see it is, if the man likes you as you are, he is more likely to be the right one. Me: I am attracted to natural looks.

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    • Guys are weird... They can choose you and still not like you or find you quite good enough. Or they do choose your looks, but gaining 10 lbs destroys the entire relationship. Etc. So I've lost motivation... It's like, why bother.

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    • best, not beat.

    • See the poster above - if this is how the world works, why even bother?

  • Pop a picture on here babes and lets see what you're unsure about XXX

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What Girls Said 3

  • Drink plenty of water and eat healthy. Your skin will improve so much and you will glow if you put the correct things inside yourself. Exercise as well.
    Wash your face and take care of your skin. Buy figure flattering clothes. If you want to do your makeup, learn how to do it.

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  • I never care about how i look but guys are still hitting on me even if i dont want then to. Help:(

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    • Guys do hit on me too, but guys hit on most anyone, haha. It doesn't have that much to do with actual feelings, in a way.

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    • It'll get better. Most guys are decent people, but young guys are impulsive a lot of times. Testosterone makes guys a little more into risk-taking and wild action, but the area of the brain that guides impulse develops more in mid 20s.

    • How do you dress? Could you be dressing really provocatively?

  • just try to put in the effort even if you don't feel like it.

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    • Nike's best selling slogan, right there!

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