I feel ugly but it's so recent!

Don't worry this isn't some sort of weak attempt to get compliments.

Basically I was always the small nerdy weedy kid in school, always looked a bit young for my age, I don't know if it was because I was born prematurely or what or that my negligent biological mother smoked when she was pregnant with me but there you have it.

I also didn't really develop much of a fashion sense until after I left school. I am 24 now.

Basically I didn't 'come into my own' until after school, though I made more friends and improved somewhat during secondary school.

I've had a couple of girlfriends, one fairly long term, my image improved and I 'caught up' so to speak. Over the last few years I am felt more confident about myself and I have always been reasonably content with my lot in life, I've never really felt ugly, though I've always really hated having my photo taken because I never liked how I came out in them. I used to not like seeing myself in the mirror though I don't really know why, I got over it.

The past year I even felt quite happy with my looks, I'd see myself in the mirror every morning and think "I know its vain but I really think I look not bad!" ya know?, just something stupid. I've never thought I looked like brad pitt but I was confident and happier.

But this winter I dunno, I feel really ugly sometimes even though I KNOW I'm not. The smallest slightest imperfections that you never notice on others and usually add some character to their features you might even find cute or whatever I just blow up out of all proportion on my own face. No-one has EVER called me ugly as far as I know, no-one has called me big nose or picked on anything about me except a few chavs who used to pick on me when I was little because I was fairly small and thus an easy target.

I feel like my nose is some big crooked horrid thing on my face though its not and I know this...I feel like my face is squint, like its bent to one side or something, or one of my cheeks seems abnormally sunken even though in both cases I know it isn't really...or is it?

I started uni this year through an access course and I guess meeting/seeing all these girls and good looking people in general has really effected how I feel about myself.

I'm the best I've ever looked...I feel I've grown into my face, I look after my body and I feel it looks good, fit and toned...and when I see myself in the mirror I see a reasonably okay looking guy, I see a good looking guy who deserves the flirtatious banter he has gotten and the looks he gets from a few girls, but on the other hand a few times I see a photo or something and I feel proper ugly.

I have OCD so I am wondering if it is just playing up on me again or what?...is it normal for people to see horrid ugliness where there is none?

Am I ugly and just deluding myself to thinking I am okay looking sometimes?

Anyone else ever felt like this?


Most Helpful Guy

  • We all tend to be our own worst critics, so you're not alone there. We're so used to our own faces that we lose all perspective on them and find features that no-one else in the universe has ever noticed, and wouldn't consider flaws if they did.

    Chances are you've grown into a normally good-looking guy who has occasional dips in his self-confidence. Just ride those out, and let the "real" you, iow the times when you can see your own appeal, have the lion's share of your focus.


What Girls Said 2

  • ok well just letting you know lots of people look kinda bad in winter if they don't properly take care of themselves. you know? you have ot constantly put chap stick on so you don't get chap. remember lotion. people look paler because they don't go in the sun as much, they have chapped lips and dry skin, they sometimes look like they may be sick because they're a little pink from the weather outside.

    EVERYONE has some inperfection on their face somewhere. even if someone doesn't admit it they all want to fix something on there face. if it makes you feel better, one of my nostrels is slightly larger than the other. hahahahaha.

    everyone is critical of pictures. the camera actually adds 10 pounds. no joke. its all about the angle. you know? "if only I had turned my head a little this way or put my hair this way it wouldn't have looked that bad." also you will notice all the things wrong with you in your pictures whereas other people will just look it over and be like oh yeah its a picture. unless you are like a god you are so gorgeous peope won't stare at your picture for long maybe 4 seconds.


  • LOL. I think we all feel ugly at times, That's so normal.


What Guys Said 2

  • First of all, are you British? Lol, just wondering by the way that you write.

    And I think we all go through periods like this where we feel like the ugliest things in the world. Even supermodels do. We always feel like there is stuff about our bodies that we hate, but in reality no one else notices or cares. Our problems are magnified by 100x in our heads, when it's not really a problem at all.

    You'll get over it. Just keep telling yourself that you DO look good, and that there is nothing wrong with you. The more you think bad things about yourself the more you believe them.

  • Trust me... I sympathize. You're doing better than me. Keep it up!