Beautiful? ... PLEASE HELP!!!

So, my boyfriend constantly tells me I'm sexy. When I send him pictures, that's what he tells me. When I dress up, he said it as well. When he talks dirty to me, he tells me how sexy he thinks I am. When were apart, he'll say how he can't wait to see that sexy body again. Now, don't get me wrong, I love it when he calls me sexy. It makes me feel he's attracted to me and likes my body, and what girl wouldn't want to feel that way? I know he's likes my body and is sexually attracted to me by the way he talks to me and how he looks at me and what he doest to me. That's not the problem.

I am madly in love with this guy. We're 19 and we've been together for a year and a half. What I feel for him is so deep, I'd do anything and everything for him. He makes me happy, he cares about me, he's sweet, he's funny, he's smart. He's my other half and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him and have a family together. I can't see myself without him.

*****WELL, HERE'S THE THING*****

Girls (and guys as well, I think), we all have those days where we don't feel as pretty. Like you'll wake up and look at yourself and won't feel that same "bamm, I look so good today" feeling. Well, I was feeling that way the other day. I had my period, I had a cold, and I just wasn't feeling pretty at all. So I ask him if he thought I was pretty, to which he responded "yeah, I think you're pretty."

Reading guys' comments on this site has made me realize that to guys the words "sexy, pretty, gorgeous, beautiful" all have different meanings to them. Sexy is the physical. They like your body. Pretty is you're cute. Gorgeous is you have stunning facial features. And beautiful is the whole package. You like their body, their face, and everything else. And when a guy saids you're beautiful, there's a deeper connection there than just the physical. A guy that's in love with a girl would describe her as beautiful, not just pretty.

So, needless to say, I was expecting him to say "no baby, you're beautiful." So his response disappointed me and its made me think that maybe he doesn't really love me and just likes my body.

SOO, am I overreacting? Guys, what do you think? And girls, tell me I'm not completely crazy to be thinking like this LOL

Any advice would be great. Sorry it's so long, but thanks for reading =)

Updates:
Also, maybe I'm completely wrong about this, but its really got me down =( ... I even told him I wanted him to say I was beautiful which was when he actually said it but its like it didn't come from him so its not really the same
PLEASE HELP ME! I'm desperate

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You're totally trippin. Pretty, beautiful, sexy, whatever, they're all generally the same and let's say they weren't. Why couldn't you be pretty AND beautiful AND sexy AND gorgeous all at once? Of course you can be. Just cause he said you were pretty doesn't mean he doesn't think your beautiful or whatever and frankly? In most dudes minds those are generally the same thing. There's no "set" definition of any one of those terms, they're all malleable. You just got done saying how sexy he always says you are and how you know he finds you insanely attractive. Think about it. I'd bet that those days "you don't feel as pretty", he doesn't even notice because he STILL thinks you're incredibly hot. Stop making mountains out of pebbles and chill.

    Besides of course he used the term "pretty", you ASKED him if he thought you were pretty and he said yes. Like I just finished saying, you can be pretty AND beautiful at the same time, (mostly because they mean the exact same thing), therefore you are tripping. A guy that's in love with a girl wouldn't ALWAYS use the term beautiful. He loves you and you're totally crapping on him by coming up with these insane assumptions. That's really not fair to the poor guy, he's obviously trying his best. FFS, you're freaking out over a dude's word choice in response to a hella random question you pulled out of no where.

    Frankly, I feel sorry for him. I am really, really, not trying to be mean but frankly, your attitude is kinda upsetting. He obviously cares and loves about you considering how you originally described him. Yet here you are, completely calling him a liar because he didn't say, "no you're not pretty, you're beautiful" and now you're disappointed? How unfair and insane. I'm sorry girl, but you need to really get your priorities straight. Because by being down and all upset about this, you are hurting this guy who loves you. This guy who hasn't done anything wrong what so ever and really cares about you, but here you are trying to crucify the poor bloke because his words didn't "feel" good enough for you. How selfish.

    It's simple. If you continue acting crazy and making outrageous assumptions, YOU obviously don't deserve this guy and I hope he realizes how selfish you are and dumps you. If you pull the Volkswagen out of your bum and start treating him with the same respect and benefit of a doubt he shows you, you might be able to forge something really special that will last a life time. Your choice girl. Ruin the best thing you got going for you over nothing with your own craziness or build a better future by using some gosh dang sense. Merry Christmas.

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What Guys Said 22

  • You've got it all wrong kiddo. Sexy, beautiful, pretty...it's all the same to us. We don't calculate which word we are going to say next based on how much we love you...that's crazy! This is a reason why I don't date long term, a girl is going to worry about how I said "You're pretty", and think I'm not into her because I didn't say "You're beautiful"? GRRRRRRR...

    "Guy's are dumb, but girls are crazy."

    -ex girlfriend of mine

    This is definitely one of those "girls are crazy" questions...

    -MaxPrime

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  • Hate to say it, but you really are overreacting. I'm actually glad you wrote this, because I really had no clue at all. I use all those words interchangeably (sexy, hot, gorgeous, pretty, beautiful, etc.) It all depends on my mood and the first word I think of. They all basically mean the same thing to me, that I like her (or love her if you've already exchanged those words). I used to use like and love to mean the same thing until I found out differently. But, now, I know more and I'll be more conscious of it. Thanks.

    You should prob tell him this, because he's clueless like the majority of guys. You aren't crazy to think like this, you think however you think. But, he def doesn't know that their are different meanings. If he did, he would probably think a lot more about what words to use.

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    • Thank You!! =) made me feel better

  • Yes your right beautiful is the whole thing. I used to tell my ex girlfriend this all the time cause she used to cake on makeup everyday like it was her birthday, and we would be late to half the things we had to do cause of this. So I kept telling her babe your beautiful you don't need so much makeup, and she would always say well it makes me feel better, and I used to tell her what do you mean makes you feel better I tell you all the time ur beautiful and its like ur going and putting all this stuff on to impress other people when she should just listen and impress me.. So w/e she left me for another guy that I hear now constantly calls her sexy. To me in my opinion when you call your chick sexy its more of a physical look aka body like you said, and beautiful is the whole thing. I'm pretty sure ur boyfriend thinks ur beautiful, don't look too much into that.

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  • ok two things.. You massively overanalyzing it, if you ask if you are pretty, he is going to reply with the same word. Secondly, this is similar to the "Im fat" phrase. If you ask your boyfriend if you are fat, he is going to say "No your not", just the same as "Am I pretty" guys answer "yes your pretty", he's not going to say "yeah but you were better looking yesterday". So unless he is like "Wow you are so beautiful" totally unprompted by you then that is the only time it even means anything.

    as for the word itself, gorgious, beautiful, stunning, amazing, sexy, hot, whatever it all means the same thing.

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  • Typical, typical, woman, he says your sexy that means he thinks your sexy, which means hot ok, and then when your looking like well lets just go with hell, he says your pretty even though at that moment not so much, but then again who is, you don't just wake up sexy every morning no one does. Take it as a compliment he could have said whoa what happened to you damn put some make up on or something.

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  • LOL ... Ok, here is the thing, you are completely overanalysing the whole situation. It is true that we tend to make a difference between sexy and cute or beautiful but not all of us do. I think that as we get older we tend to differentiate more cz we are more in touch with what we expect in a woman so one thing you have to consider is how mature is your guy (dont tell me, I don't want him to be p*ssed at me for no reason ;) ... lol ).

    Another thing you have to take in considerate is the time factor ... In a perfect world, your feelings for your beloved one would never change but we don't live in a fantasy world, do we? So you should expect his feelings to vary from time to time ... sometimes he will think you are totally hot and won't be able to stop thinking about undressing you every chance he gets, some other times he will see you as the one he wants to have kids with and spend the rest of his life with ... its doesn't mean that you are not the one for him, just how he sees you at the exact moment you asked.

    If it was a 2 weeks relationship I would understand your concern but you obviously have nothing to worry about so enjoy your time together.

    PS:

    Sometimes we use different words just not to sound boring too :) ... its kinda boring to tell your girlfriend she is *beautiful* every time she asks so we mix it up a little from time to time (sometimes, not even knowing it (: ... lol )

    Hope I helped making you feel better.

    Now go have some fun with your boyfriend! lol

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  • Your crazy if its cause of that one instance. You told him to tell you your pretty so he like most guys is just gonna repeat exactly what you said. Pretty is pretty cute means cute,every guy uses all those words and for the most part they kinda lump together to mean the same damn thing. I tend to use those words early on in a realtionship I don't ever wanna tell a girl I just met she's hot by using the word hot,its not as classy as saying beautiful or pretty but to me they mean the same thing.

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  • Definitely overreacting. I say this coming from the position of a guy who always manages to say the wrong thing to his girlfriend. Back when I first started dating, my girlfriend would put something on and complain about how bad she thought it looked, to which I responded, "it's not that bad." In the same situation, I've also caught myself saying, "it's fine." Obviously I didn't think it looked bad, I was trying to tell her it didn't, but as you can see, guys just don't always get it.

    Take it easy on the guy, I'm almost certain he didn't mean it in the way you are taking it. Like others have said, you used the word pretty, so he used it too. If my girlfriend asked me if I thought she was pretty, I'd say yeah, because I do lol.

    One thing I don't agree with, which most of the guys here are saying, is that 'sexy' and 'pretty' and 'hot' and 'beautiful' all mean the same thing. They don't to me, and there are definitely appropriate and inappropriate times to use each word. If nothing else, the pure literal meanings of the words are different. Pretty refers visual appearance, whereas beautiful can refer to so much more, and is a much deeper word. However, I still agree with what I said before, he didn't mean it the way you're taking it.

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    • So basically your saying that guys are like parrots they repeat it all back to you...... anyways that helped me cause that's what my boyfriend always does, saying the wrong thing and it makes my day worse.... so I guess I understand this...

  • yes you are over-reacting. you can't suddenly feel that a one and a half year relationship has fallen apart, just because he said pretty instead of beautiful and its ridiculous to even think such a thing!

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  • Im exactly the same as keeper, I vary the words pretty, gorgeous, sexy and beautiful. It's whatever pops in to my head at the time. Guys aren't deep enough to consider exactly what each word means, we don't plan out the right word for a situation we just say what comes in to our heads. I also agree that you are majorly overreacting and you sound a bit too dependant on this guy. I'd focus on yourself and being happy with who you are and depend less on what he thinks of you.

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    • I actually did think like that before I started being a regular on this site. And reading guys' comments made me change me mind and think that to guys, there is a different meaning behind each word, love possibly being that behind beautiful.

      And I don't think I'm too dependant on my boyfriend. It was just a simple question but I guess this site made me over-analyze it lol

      But thanks! =)

  • Actually, I think you are over-reacting because you are afraid of losing him. Too much insecurity, I think. Accept that he loves you, and don't expect him to always know what you need. Maybe you can even tell him that, and he will understand you better.

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  • Your really over-reacting. He said "your pretty" because that's what you asked for. If you had said "do you think I am beautiful?" He would have said "yea, your beautiful."

    And those meanings you gave certain words are pretty wrong. Its just not that complicated, silly!

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  • If you want him saying it in the future you'll have to explain why. Guy's are ultimately logical creatures and we appreciate everything better when we know how and why stuff works.

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  • you are getting way too tied up in words.

    you are being wayyyyyyy too picky if you want him to use certain words to express himself to you. just be happy he thinks you are hot and likes you and let the specifics go.

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  • yes you are overreacting. Guys use the workds pretty, cute, sexy, gorgeous interchangebly. They are all positive words that they use to verbalize how they see you. To react negatively to them because you don't feel pretty is on you. You see feelings don't make you look less attractive to the one looking at you.

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  • They all have the same meaning to me, except sexy sounds a bit too strong so I usually say pretty. I think you're just overreacting.

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  • Way overreacting.

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  • Ur def over analyzing!

    dont do it

    it will just get you in to more and more trouble

    he sounds like a great guy

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  • WAY over thinking it...

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  • I'd say your overanalyzing it.

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  • can you guys please help me too link

    and if he doesn't say beautiful he might only be sexualy attracted to you sorry

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  • god.

    get over yourself.

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What Girls Said 16

  • Wow, he's telling you you are sexy, beautiful, pretty all the time, can't wait to see you, all that... he says yes when you ask him if you are pretty and you are worked up because he agreed with you instead of telling you you are beautiful? Poor guy! Give him a break!

    You are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay overthinking this. Step back, look at how good things are between you, and have fun being in a great relationship with someone you love who loves you back! He sounds like he's definitely ]hot for you. You just took it differently because you weren't feeling well that day. No guy who doesn't love you would be with you for 1 1/2 years!

    If you ask him if you are pretty, nothing he says is gonna mean as much because you are right - it isn't coming from him! Sounds like it does come from him often enough that you don't need to even ask. But I know sometimes we don't feel our best and we want reassurance that our guy is into us for real. That's natural.

    I think the whole analysis of what each word (pretty, gorgeous, beautiful, etc.) means has more to do with how YOU interpret it than what they mean. I hope some guys give some feedback on whether they think those words mean the same to them as you think they do. I bet different guys have different definitions for those words or that most think all those words mean essentially the same thing.

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  • first and foremost, you are not in love with this guy. you just have feelings for him. and if he tells you you're sexy all the time, then its just physical, and it will wash away soon. love is much deeper. and believe me, if you love the guy, petty things like this would not disturb you.

    i know its hard not to let him get to you, but don't let him break you down like that already, he has controle over you. I think you should not depend so much on this guy, because the road you are on right now, some day, he is going to break your heart (I can tell, because you said he finds it hard to tell you you'r beautiful). so while your heart is still together, I think you should set things right . don't let him have so much controle over you.

    your not over reacting, I understand a girl needs to be loved, but girl I can garantee you that you will not get it from him.

    so heads up, and make things strait. set grounds for him in wich you would like him to agree to. like since you bring him so much pleasure, he should at least try to be sweet and romantic with you too. tell him he should try to mean it to.

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  • you're probably a really attractive girl if he's saying you're sexy and all that.

    yeah I don't like being called sexy either, my guy calls me beautiful mostly because he knows I hate being called sexy at times. I guess I agree. he called me beautiful without me having to tell him that I have a preference.

    have a talk with your guy when he has a second to listen to what you got to say. I know what you mean. I had issues with my first bf, he'd always call me "hot"-that isn't what I want to hear. like I said if he calls you sexy, dont' react to it or just stop talking to him. that's what I'd do to get the message across.

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  • Guys aren't mind-readers. You asked him if he thought you were pretty, and he said yes. Us girls love to have fantasies that guys will say something completely romantic when we want them to, but that's not gonna happen (at least not all the time). If you prefer to be called beautiful, tell him that. It's a bit of a conclusion to jump to based on that one thing. I mean, the year-and-a-half of being called sexy is the thing you should be worried about. Regardless, if he was only sexually attracted to you, he probably would have been long gone. Conclusion: tell him what you want.

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  • I think you could be over reacting. Due to being on your period, having a cold, the whole shi-bang, girls tend to get emotional when they have all this hitting them like a brick at the same time. When your feeling this way try doing things that make you feel normal. Even though you might not want to put on that make-up, your best out-fit, and smile. No one looks great on their worst days girls and guys alike, try putting yourself in his shoes. You do love him but if he was having an off day he wouldn't be looking up to par like he normally does either.

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  • i think you should discuss this with him and not with people on this site. a year and a half is a serious relationship and you should be able to at least try and talk about your feelings with each other.

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  • well this guy totally likes your body

    if he really loves you becouse of your personalty not your body well he deserve that you love him

    i think you should test him...make yourself gorgeous and go out and the next day be so normal ... look just fine

    see how he wil react if he loves you for you he will say you look beutiful although you don't but if he don't love you for you but for your body he ill tell you that you don't look good

    p.s quiet is a normal word he doesn't have to say you look gorgeous but he sound that he likes your body not you

    try to forget him he is not worth it but first test him

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  • Maybe it's just not a word he uses, just like I don't use the word "hot", I feel ackward saying it so I just call "hot" guys "cute".

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    • Uh just an FYI, most guys (including me) hate being called cute. Cute is a reference to kittens, ponys, puppies and all weak and unmanly things. I don't spends hours in the gym to be called cute

    • I know, that's why I only use it when I'm talking about the guys I like with my Who DOESN'T know that guys don't like being called cute? In person I call guys whatever they want to be called and sometimes "handsome".

  • Your overreacting... some girls out there don't even have a man or a good enough man to tell them that they are sexy and or pretty. you have a good thing going don't overanalyze it, take it in enjoy what you have! :}

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  • No, you are not crazy! I have felt that way many times but what I have come to learn is that wether that guy really loves you or not, men have trouble expressing themselfs and often fail to find the appropriate words to tell you how they are feeling. But it really shouldnt matter, you have to think of yourself as beautiful before anyone else can.

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  • You are overreacting.

    But chances are he just wants you for sex because "sexy" has nothing cute about it. If he calls you to tell you he "misses your sexy body" then sex is all he wants.

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  • ur overreacting chicka! its all good!

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  • He just thinks your really hot you should embrace that and use it to your full advantage

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  • im not trying to be mean but I think he just likes your body... my boyfriend says I have a sexy body but he also tell me I'm beautiful more then he tells me I'm sexy. If he does say something great about your mind/ personality with out you makeing him say it your fine but other wise your not crazy.

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  • Wow I was the same way as you when I was 19/20 years old. I'm 22 now, and I'm def. a lot calmer now and if a guy says I look pretty, I take it 4 what it is, nothing more, nothing less. I understand where you are coming from tho... a lot of us women are so insecure about our looks, and quite honestly, the guy I used 2 feel "unpretty" around was my ex, who ended up cheating on me wiith my bestfriend. I have had a long struggle with trying 2 tell myself that he didn't think she was "better" than me.

    I always felt like I had 2 look pretty all the time 4 him.. and I would always get jealous and insecure.. but looking back now it was sooo not worth it and such a waste of energy and time because what my deep-rooted fear was, was of getting cheated on and my heartbroken. (which ended up happening anyway).

    You need 2 realize that the reason you are feeling this way is because of something deeper that you need 2 face. its okay 2 feel that way, but you should save yourself the stress and worrying and try 2 face it now b4 it gets worse and destroys the relationshipi. I really hope you find a way 2 raise your self-esteem and realize that if he is still with you he still likes you, pretty or not. Wish ya the best hun =)

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  • I no exactly what you mean! Don't read into it though because it most def will cause an argument. One of my ex's always use to tell me, your so hot, you look so hot, hot hot hot hot, it was never beautiful. Its nice to be told your hot or sexy but it feels even better to be told your beautiful because it feels like it means more. Being told your sexy/hot makes it sound like your more of an object, if that makes any sense lol Some guys just don't know how to express things in words and I'm certain he thinks your beautiful if he is saying all of those other terms to you. So don't read into it its most likely his choice of words rather than him not thinking you are.

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    • Yeah, that's exactly how I felt lol thx =)

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