Taking Risk?

I don't know if is a confidence issue, or the fact that I hate to open up to girls in general. I am the type of dude that is not really touch-feely, or things along those lines. The thing is I don't know if that is what is causing the problem of me not getting a girlfriend?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't NEED a guy to open up to me for me to be happy in a relationship. Also, when I just meet a guy, he needs to focus less on being deep, and more on making a good impression for me to want to go out with him. There is more to love than sharing. And I hope other girls will agree with me. But of course, we still like for our boyfriends to open up to us everyonce in a while, even if it's just a little thing. Talk about something that's on your mind every once in a while, and she'll see that you trust her. If a girl doesn't feel that her boyfriend trusts her, they aren't going much further. Also, a deep conversation once you really think you are falling for her, is going to touch her.

    Touchy feely for me, isn't that great either. I'm really not into PDA, not even holding hands in the mall. No, it's not an embarassment thing, it's just me being private and keeping our feelings between us instead of shouting them out to the world. But still, if we're sitting watching a movie, it's nice if he puts his arm around me, or hugs me every so often. Hugs are good.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Maybe it's none of the above, but a lack of obvious flirting skills? Perhaps girls don't get the vibe you're interested, so you end up in the friend zone? Or, on another extreme, perhaps your flirting techniques might be a little too intense and come off as creepy?

    I don't think it has to do with opening up in the beginning, when you first meet a person and become interested. I think in general those issues come up later in the relationship. And I personally have never associated someone who is very touchy-feely with being interested in anything more than just hooking up.

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    • Well maybe you can give me some advice on flirting?

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    • Zoned.

      in any case, I think I came off a bit defensive here. if it's any explanation- I have school stuff to be doing and well, I don't feel like it. so I'm putting my energy into this instead.

      point being: for me friend-zoning if it exists, occurs either if the other person is not interested beyond hooking up, or the very first time we meet. if anything, in the latter, coming out of the friend-zone is much easier. that's how me and my ex got started and we were together for over 3 years. it's

    • Because, at least to a lot of girls including myself, dating someone they already are friends with and know well /who knows them well as well, is preferable.

  • Heres what you need to do. You don't really have to totally open up fulll on in the first conversation with a girl, just show some personality. Not like politics or hard core issues, more like movies or music. Then once the girl knows the more cultural part of you then you start talking about your life (i.e pets you have and what's going on right now)

    Start little, work up to he bigger stuff.

    Good luck

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    • I agree, no politics and other hard-core things. it's a little too intense in the beginning.

  • Don't worry about it, you don't have to be really sensitive and mushy w/e for a girl to like you. Honestly, I'm not even that way. Sometimes you just have to make your move on a girl and not be so picky about what you want in a girl. If you set your bar too high, you'll never get anyone.

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  • there are TONS of girls who want a guy like you.

    not every girl wants there boyfriend to know every curve their body has.

    a friendly hug is nice once in a while though.

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  • Its ok that your not touchy- feely. A girl might take that as you being respectful. Which is cute, you can do things to show that you care about a girl without being all over her. You can compliment her, hold the door for her, just be helpful. I'm sure girls can see that you have a hard exterior. By being helpful and giving her a hug when you see her, that will show her your sweet on her. A guy like you giving a girl special treatment is flattering.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Honestly dude just tell them how you feel. Don't say that bull sh*t like, "You're so pretty can you be my girlfriend" that simply gives the impression that you like girls solely based on looks. Say something like, "You are very beautiful and I would like to get to know you better". Try to focus that it was her beauty that attracted you at first, but you want more from her than just a pretty face. Girls like it when you speak what you really feel, but NOT spend time talking about your day or other history. You have to make sure you leave some mystery about you so she can experience new things from you everyday. I've always just flirted with girls and told them how I really felt(refer to previous quote) and the only time I was rejected is when they actually had a boyfriend lol.

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  • seriously, it's way easier for a girl to get a boyfriend than it is for a guy to get a girlfriend.

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  • Well you have to take a risk to get to know someone and to invest yourself in them. That's unavoidable. I've never had a girlfriend and I've made two serious attempts at having one, and let me tell you that when your risk fails, it hurts---a lot. But to get comfortable start by basic talking to girls you have no interest in, then slowly start getting a little more touchy and build yourself up. you have to take a risk to get a girlfriend because you are, by definition, risking your heart. It's a tough, hurtful business, but that's what you have to do.

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