Is it wrong to ask girlfriend to wear more womenly clothing?

I have never seen my girlfriend of almost 2 years in a dress. When we go shopping she shops in the men section. She is plus size but always makes an excuse that there are no good plus size clothing. I have also never seen her in make up but I don't make that a big deal. We were on the verge of breaking up after asking her to wear a dress for a wedding. She expects me to be okay with that. She wears nothing but t-shirts and one pair of capris. How can I get her to wear more womenly clothing without offending her? Am I asking too much? Do they make women clothing comfortable in general for plus size women?


0|0
6|3

Most Helpful Girl

  • No but you must say it delicately and tactfully

    0|1
    0|0

Most Helpful Guy

  • I think this question has a number of levels - Can we tell someone what to wear, no but we can talk about clothing choices and maybe make suggestions without offending, hard to do but you should know her well after 2 years so you should think about how best to broach the subject.
    The second level is the girl herself - Is she truly comfortable in what she wears or is it a self confidence issue because of her size - If you think that it is a confidence issue just encourage her by saying things like I think you would look good in a dress etc.
    If it is just a comfort issue, you will have to try and accept her as she is.
    Good luck in whatever you both decide to do,

    1|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 5

  • I don't know how to help you with getting her to wear it all the time, but maybe for at least one occasion? Try and take her out on a really nice date, one where she would have to wear a dress because it is that nice.

    You technically are not asking for too much, but if her style is not wearing dresses and is more casual, then that may be hard to change. Sorry :/

    1|0
    0|0
  • I have a lot of experience with this, unfortunately. Many women who are overweight just do not feel attractive, no matter what they do. The pressures of society can be very harsh, and many women would rather throw in the towel than try to look nice, only to have their confidence shot down by a cruel remark. And on the other hand, we women do not like investing in ourselves when we don't feel sexy or attractive. And, plus sized clothing is REALLY AWFUL! Anything reasonably nice costs a fortune, and the rest looks matronly. A few stores that cater to heavier women have some nicer things, but again, the cost is sometimes prohibitive.

    I went through these cycles for most of my life. I didn't like investing in clothing because I hated the way I looked, and buying nice clothing was, for me, akin to resigning myself to the fact that I was fat, and that it would never, ever change. Like your girl, I wore clothes that made me "invisible"... I did not want to draw attention to myself. I never posed for pictures, because seeing how I looked to others damaged my self-esteem even more.

    I found that when I did my hair and makeup, I felt much better about myself. Then I would be in the mood to shop for some new shoes, then clothes. I lost a little weight, and I felt even better about myself, and that made me want to invest in myself more. It was a process for me. I found a website called Pinupgirlclothing that sold gorgeous, sexy dresses for women of all sizes, and I bought one. And another one. Then, my confidence went WAY up. As a result, I lost more weight, and had to buy more dresses!

    I loathe and detest the way I look in skirts and dresses when I am heavy. Maxi dresses are about as far as I will go when I am heavier. I do not like to show my legs when my weight is higher because I feel self-conscious and insecure, like people would be staring for the wrong reasons. Your girl could probably relate to this. Heavy girls are taught that our bodies are vulgar, and that we need to conceal them.

    As for what you can do to encourage her to blossom forth, it's really hard to say. I have a great man who has never stopped telling me how beautiful I am, even though I think he HAS to be lying, sometimes. It's hard to change the way someone sees themselves; change must come from within. We often won't believe you when you tell us we are pretty, anyway. So you have to accept us the way we are. :-)

    0|0
    0|0
    • Other things might factor in as well. What are her friends like? Are they girly, or do they dress like her as well? My feminine girlfriends DEFINITELY influence me to be more feminine. Her influences might play a part in how she presents herself to the world.

      Whatever you do, DON'T try to push her outside of her comfort zone. It will blow up in your face. If she will wear jewelry, get her something beautiful to wear every day. If she does her nails herself, treat her to a mani-pedi, or acrylic nails. Little treats like that will make her feel more feminine without reminding her of what she doesn't like about herself. Small gestures will get you further, faster. Take it from a girl who knows!

      Be PATIENT. Many of us larger girls have decades of crushingly low self-esteem and painfully awful self-images to overcome. We need to be coaxed, not pushed. As far as clothing goes, you might not get her to part with her man jeans, now, but maybe down the road, you can get her to try a nice shirt to wear with them. You know... to show off that manicure and new bling. ;-)

  • am sorry that... maybe you could tell her that you're offering her a makeover or something... say that both will be involved so that it won't be offensive

    0|0
    0|0
  • There is such a wide range of plus size clothing right now it's incredible sit her down and ask her what REALLY is the problem. It sounds like maybe she might have self esteem issues deep down and this topic NEEDS to be threaded lightly women are very sensitive about this type of thing. She might not feel beautiful enough to wear a dress especially in her weddig day (I've come across a few women like this) maybe ask her if she'd like to hire a stylist to show her how to dress for her body type and boost her confidence. But please if you get frustrated stay calm this is a sensitive subject. Best of luck.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Sorry I miss read about the weddig but you get what I mean? Any dress would be sensitive subject if this were the case. Even at someone else's wedding. Be gentle :)

  • Take her to that torrid store, they've got womanly plus size clothes. I think deb does too. And Charlotte Russe.

    0|1
    0|0

What Guys Said 2

  • Buy some clothes for her as a present/gift.

    0|0
    0|0
    • That's sweet and well-intentioned, but to tell the truth, I almost never wore anything my boyfriend bought me when I didn't like the way I looked in the first place. I responded better to things that fit no matter what I weighed... a pair of earrings, a pretty necklace, a bangin' new purse. A mani-pedi. Baby steps that head in the right direction get you further in the end. ;-)

  • If she's that big why would you want to?

    0|0
    1|0
Loading...