I am getting in over my head with this guy. I am shy he’s shy. A friend at work is out going and is trying to coach me into talk to the guy I like. I can’t seem to come up with anything that doesn’t seem moronic or gives away that I like him even though I am pretty sure he already knows. I am not too quick on my feet to think of things to say. I mean it took me almost a full 3 second to respond to his mom after she told me to have a good night (by name) She and I aren’t close we hardly talk if ever. I am so freaked out and torn as what to do. I want to talk to her son but at the same time I am freaked out and shy. And I don’t know what to say I just need help. It took me like a week just to be able to wave to him after liking him for almost a year and like another week to be able to say hi. I am gonna go freaking nuts and now his mom’s talking to me and I have no idea why. I am starting to get paranoid and I don’t want to freak out and scare him away but I can’t help it.
Most Helpful Guy
I can relate because I've been shy my whole life. It seems like something you can only mask, never overcome. Actually, I wonder if masking it makes it worse.
Your situation reminds me of a girl I was crazy about when I was 14. She was also was very shy, to the point of running away from me even though she liked me.
The problem is that when you put two shy people together, the social anxiety just amplifies exponentially. It's like you're both feeding off each others' anxiety.
One day after I'd had the girl for almost 2 years, sat next to her in several classes but couldn't get the courage to talk to her...I was about to just give up on her...but I got a note from her. Through writing back and forth, we were finally able to express our feelings for each other.
I thought it was the happiest day of my life, and that since we had expressed the truth to each other, we could now have a normal relationship.
Unfortunately, that didn't happen and I went from heaven to hell. I thought the mutual understanding of how we felt would solve everything, but we continued to be really nervous and shy, and could barely talk in person. She ultimately broke up with me, and I really blamed myself back then. I've cursed my shyness ever since because I'll always wonder if there's anything I could have done to change fate!
I know I'm not giving a solution, but I really wish I could. The best thing I can suggest is to try to put yourself in a situation where you two HAVE to talk to each other. Something creative -- like doing a treasure hunt together or something. Don't worry about telling him how you feel, small talk or talking on your feet. Just try to do something simple that will make you two more comfortable around each other.0