Do I have the right to be mad at my friend?

I have a friend who I'll name Jessica. I have a lot of parties at my house and she comes to them, she also hangs out with me at my house when I only have a couple of friends over. She's one of my good friend's cousin (who I'll name Jack). A couple of months ago I had this thing wit this guy who I'll name Tony. Well I really liked Tony but he pretty much blew me off. I've hooked up with him before, and I'm fine with doing that. Well one night I had a get together at my house and me and Tony ended up hooking up. He was leaving and giving some people a ride home (including Jessica). Before they left me and Jessica were outside talking about Tony and this other guy (who she had sex with earlier that night). I told her how much I liked Tony but Tony's good friends with Jack so she pretty much already knew the story. So a couple of nights later, Tony comes over to my house to hang out with me and then tells me that she gave him head after he took her home and that she wanted to go to his house but he didn't want her to so he said no. That p*ssed me off because she did that right after I got done telling her how much I liked Tony. So me and Tony are done with but we're friends still and now whenever she comes over to my house she bugs me to text him to come over because she knows he won't come over if she asks him. I ignore it and don't invite him over because I know that he tries to avoid her. Well I had a big party for my birthday where I got too drunk and ended up passing out upstairs for the night while my good friends were downstairs. During this time she hooked up with a guy who I use to talk to before I talked to Tony (I'll name him Justin). Well me and Justin use to talk and hook up, and we still do sometimes. Justin comes over to my house a couple of days later and also tells me how Jessica hooked up with him at my house, at my birthday party, while I was passed out upstairs. Justin and Tony are (well were) my two guys that I have a history with and do hook up with from time to time (having safe sex of course). After I heard about her hooking up with them as well I pretty much stopped hooking up with them because the thought of her being with them as well is repulsing to me.

Do I have a right to be mad at her though? I know there's some sort of "girl code" and she definitely broke it right? The thing is that she acts like she's one of my girls but did this and hasn't even admitted to it or came up to me and told me. I feel disrespected and don't want to invite her to any of my social events at my house but I want to make sure I'm not overreacting.

Updates:
Okay seriously the purpose of this question wasn't asking everyone their opinion about girls hooking up with guys who they aren't in a relationship with. Girls and guys should be treated the same.
If a girl has sex with a guy who isn't her boyfriend then she's a hoe, slut, etc. But if a boy does the same exact thing, he's praised for it.
If I wanted everyone's opinion on my sexual life then I would have asked that.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I hear what you are saying about 'girls having needs'. :)

    -People seem to be unable to get the fact that you did not ask them to critique your behavior , or predict your future. -Just wether or not to trust the girl.. You can have sex, without being 'bad' just be safe. that's it. The reason & the people are up to you, as long as you don't harm anyone.^

    As for the girl. Just don;t trust her. It does not help to be mad at her, cause she seems kind of sociopathic anyways.. I don't think you will penetrate her idiocy, any more then earn her respect.

    I do not think you should put any energy into protecting the reason that you do not want to put faith in her. Don't spread rumors, but don;'t spare her feelings by not telling her - She may be interested to know , that some find her behavior offensive - maybe no.

    - Don't take it to heat if people say you're 'whatever they say'. - Ha, ha..

    -People can be so judgmental, & it's not like this site is not about sex or any thing.. :-)

    Good luck & be safe!

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What Guys Said 4

  • Sounds like you guys are eventually sleep with every guy in town anyway, so why get bogged down with details. At the rate you're goin, you might wanna keep each other close, so you can keep each other company in your old age. You'll probably have a shot at Springer.

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    • Yea definitely since I've only slept with two guys like that. Girls have needs too, not just guys. How many women have you slept with when you were younger? I'm sure you're proud of that number, but a girl sleeping with two guys who aren't her boyfriend and she's automatically the hoe of the town? seriously get real.

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    • Double standards! This totally p*ssed me off!

    • Apparently you didn't read or comprehend my message. There is no double standard. Men, women, it's all the same standard. But do try and understand, we ARE all held to a standard, whether we acknowledge it or not.

  • yes of course

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  • Sounds like everybody is screwing everybody anyway, if you have no self-respect how can you be disrespected? Why not just have an orgy and call it a lay, or day.

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    • Yea definitely, because I mean my town only consists of two guys. But I guess you don't get a lot since two is a big number for your standards.

    • Jack, Tony and Justin = 2 guys, ur brilliant also.

    • Dang so not only do you not get any, you can't read either? Reread my story. Jack is my good FRIEND and her cousin, not someone I hooked up with.

  • sounds like she just goes after whoever you want/been with but at the same time, you're not actually "with" those guys..you're just sleeping with them. it's kind of disrespectful to do that with guys you had interest in especially since she knew but you're also not in relationships with them so..

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What Girls Said 12

  • she's way too easy-guys only look at her as a piece of meat. the thing is hanging out with her is not going to make you look good and if you do hang out with her, guys will think you're easy as well.

    if she knew you had sex with that other guy and then went to go down on him after, you have the right to be mad at her. that is pretty repulsing if I knew my guy had gone with some girl I think is easy and sleeps with any guy-health wise-that is gross.

    trust me, you're not over reacting. one of my previous acquaintances stayed at my ex boyfriend's house for like a week and I'm not friends with her but once I heard about that, I did not and refuse to refer to her as friend and if I ever knew she was going to be at a party, I won't show up.

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  • I don't think that you are over reacting at concerning her behavior. I really don't know what the 'girl code" is but it should never be taken above your self respect. I don't know if you and your friends think that it is okay to sleep around loosely (even with protection) but remember that when you do run into the guy that you really want to be "your man" you don't want to have too much history out there lingering around. But anyway, she seems to be intentionally sabotaging any possibility of moving into a close friendship with a guy. She of course would not be the kinda friend that you would want around your man (when you get one) therefore I would suggest letting her go now. She isn't the type of girl that respects a friendship, she can't even respect herself. I mean she had sex with one dude earlier then blowed another a little later? Wow! Make sure you keep your mouth and body far away from anyone she has "cum" in contact with. Her behavior is not cool and on top of that guys don't like it, well I take that back... They do like the fact that she is easy but they will never really like her. And on top of all that, people seem to generalize the friendship that the two of you have and it will make them wonder if you are just as easy, sleezy, nasty, etc as she is... I mean this is your "good" friend.

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    • Those are the only two guys I've hooked up with like that. I mean girls have needs just like guys do. But thanks

  • Ewww, she's shady. Definitley do NOT tell her your secrets or who you like any more. She has to be kinda slutty too, since she gave a guy head the same day she slept with another guy. That's so low that she'd do that, like pretty much right after you told her how you felt. That's good that you cut off hooking up with those 2 guys too, since she might have something from being such a skank.

    You have every right to be mad at her. Confront her and tell her how disrespectful she is being. Especially since you're lettting her party in your house and she hooked up in your own house with a guy you were hooking up with too! I wouldn't even let her back into my house until she learns to close her legs.

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  • She's a snake.. If I were you, I'd keep her as an aqcuaintance, and not a close friend.. these acts should be a red flag, and a signal for you to either keep your eyes on her and not trust her, or just simply stay away from her.

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  • Yes you do have a right to be mad at her and if it were me I'd show her just how mad I was by beating her ass and cutting her out of my life lol!

    On the other hand men are men and if you proceed to have random hook-ups you're gonna find that all kinds of girls (prolly ones you know) have hooked up with him too.

    I know all too well that hooking up is great but it does have it's set backs. No strings attached is the number one rule in hooking up... so these are the things you gotta deal with when doing so.

    By the way I'm glad you stopped messing with "Tony" because he LET her give him head... he's just as much to blame!

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  • Ofcourse you do! Girlfriends ex'es and old hook ups are off limits!:O

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  • yea be pist women!

    i had a friend like that, and I moved away, I met a guy we were together for over a year I was about 6 months pregnant and I moved back.. the very first day she came over she was checkin him out up and down.. and was being a total slut like practically pulling her t*ts out infront of him and trying to impress him and flirting behing my back and my boyfriend was just like dude back the f*** up..

    i just stoped talking to her..

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  • Your not overeacting, though I just honestly think your more jealous then anything, but on topic. Your friend sounds like a bitch, I wouldn't let her in my house ever again.

    If your not in a relationship with the guy and just "hooking up" you're gonna have things like this happen, especially when there's alcohol involved, regardless of gender.

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  • no your not overreacting and how holdare you having sex and tellyour friend your not friends and to stop being something .. like a hooker or something else

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  • she's a hoe and a bitch I would be mad at her too. girls like that end up with no friends. I would not associate with someone as trifling and slutty as her, people will get the wrong idea about you and think you're like her if you hang out with her *birds of a feather flock together*

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  • Well...you see...I agree that girls have needs...and so do guys, but there's always a distinction between a slut, a whore and a self-respected young woman.

    But anyways, yes, your friend is a HUGE slut and I do not see how you can even associate with a person like that..sound like she has some MAJOR daddy issues!

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  • omg you should be mad at her

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