This topic is confusing me. I hear that most of the time you will find a girlfriend (something that has eluded me for about 24 years aka my whole life). At the same time if you aren't looking then I always assumed that you were supposed to ask them out and the whole process. Maybe someone can give me an explanation.
Most Helpful Guy
I'll take a jab at it.
Think Verizon salesperson, and small business owner.
You have a small business. You need a telephone and internet. There are other local services there that will provide that for you, for let's say $40 a month. But a Verizon salesman keeps coming into your office each day, eagerly trying to get you to choose him over the other companies. Why?
Because the Verizon guy will charge you $180 a month, for the same service. (This is all hypothetical btw. Verizon is great, and they're really not that expensive)
What's going on here?
Verizon is basically trying to grab your ass. They have MORE to gain from you, than you have to gain from THEM. And that shows in their eagerness in trying to get you.
So take that analogy/metaphor, and let's see how it applies to guys.
We're girls. Let's pretend for a second. And I take you shopping one day, we go pick out the most revealing outfits, just barely what we both determine is not "slutty"; but still revealing enough to get us attention. We shall call these outfits "cute" to each other. We then make plans to go out and just have fun.
There are two guys sitting across from us. They both have SINGLE written over their forehead.
Guy B looks at us, his eyes pop wide open, his jaw drops, we're both flattered; we feel sexy and good about ourselves. But then this loser starts to walk over to us, and start talking to us. Ugh. What a creep. We both look at each other and non-verbally conclude that we need to make up an excuse to leave.
Guy A is just standing there. He's aware of us, but neither ignoring or paying attention to us. When we try to get his attention, he acknowledges us, but don't go any further. After talking to him, we know he's not gay, so we can't use that as an excuse to ourselves anymore. We know he's dated girls, we know other girls want him, and we know we're not ugly. But what's bothering both of us is that he's not trying to get our attention. He's not trying to sell himself to us.
What's going on here?
As girls, Guy B is the Verizon guy. He wants to grab our ass (and more). He just wants to get into our pants, and has no intention of anything more than that. He basically has everything to gain, and nothing to lose. This is why he's eagerly trying to win us over. This is also why we're both completely turned off.
Guy A on the other hand, is neutral. He's not gay, taken or married or anything. It's not like he's ignoring us or pushing us away. But it's not like he's trying to pull us closer either! As girls, this fascinates us, because of what it implies. It implies that WE (girls) have more value to realize from him, than he has from us. That all we have to offer him is the way we look or sex, but that's clearly all-too-common to him so it's of very little value to him. Why has he been so successful with women? Money? Huge Package? Great lover? Emotionally caring & sensitive? We don't know, but we want to find out..
there you go..2
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