Why am I intimidating?

Basically girls say that guys find me intimidating,but I think they are just lying. I'm 17 and 5'10 I'm curvy NOT fat a body in between rhianna and Beyonce, but bigger boobs. I'm pretty, but I'm not going to lie I'm not stunning or anything.I also dress fashionably with a distinct style. I can understand guys being intimidated after they meet me sort of because I am pretty smart and may also seem kind of arrogant. But people always tell me how funny, friendly and lively I am. But they wouldn't know this before they talk to me so I don't understand what about my physical appearance is intimidating.

I know some guys have liked me,but they pretty much told me and still didn't ask me out. Only older guys and Fresh Africans seem to try to talk to me or when a guy is drunk at a club. I have never had a boyfriend.

Just the other week I went to a sort of social club and this guy was really friendly to everyone and just ignored me. He didn't even know me! Also people say they can't imagine me with a guy anyway, what does that mean?

Am I intimidating or is there something wrong with me and why?

It seems to be getting worse, people love being around me to hang out and stuff but nobody is attracted me. I just don't get it. I personally don't think I'm THAT hot, maybe I'm really ugly and I don'tknow it, my body and personality should make up for it
Ok I'm really starting to get worried there has been no improvement. There must be something terribly wrong with me, I don't know what, would you tell a girl she was pretty if she wasnt? I f you told your friend you liked a girl but you couldn't approach her because of distance is that an excuse? What is wrong with me?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Hey, No there isn't anything wrong with you.

    Men nowadays are socially conditioned to think that "if I ignore a hot women, she will wonder why I don't feel attracted to her like all the other men do, so she'll chase me".

    Basically that man who ignored u, was because he had this mindset, he wanted u, but tried playing it like society teached him to.

    Unfortunately, 90% of men got it all wrong.

    When a man has the "balls" to come up to you and talk to u, that's a real man.

    When you see a man ignoring you or just seeming uninterested, its most likely mind games, immaturity or lack of self-esteem.

    No matter how "intimidating" a girl is, a real man will not care, he will approach her and speak to her like he would with any other girl.

    By the way guys, just some advice from a dating coach.. Girls aren't intimidating, even if they are super hotties with attitude problems. What are they going to do? kill you? rip ur head off?

    Women aren't space creatures who eat men alive.

    They are human beings just like us.

    Remember that.


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What Guys Said 7

  • answer is simple, doesn't have to do with looks.


    1. HEIGHT- your taller than most guys. I'm 6'0 at age 19, and was 5'5 at 17; thank god and milk for the growth spurt.

    fact of life - guys find it easier to approach a girl that is shorter than them, noticeably.

    I'm 6'0 and my height preference is 5;6-5;10

    2. CONFIDENCE - your more confident than most guys you have met.

    from personal experience - guys like to have control of situations, if they are being led in a conversation, they hate it. I use to lack confidence, then got into university - major - business; and trust me in order to be successful in business you have to be confident.

    3. PERSONALITY - from they way you describe yourself, you seem really quirky or potentially a loud person - this is a total turn off to some guys. most guys hate girls that are louder than they are - confidence reasons; quirky - most guys hate it when they aren't able to adjust to unpredictable environments - confidence once again.

    that;s my 2 cents


    • I think you might have hit the nail on the head there. That makes total sense

  • I think the guys aren't talking to you because you probably are gorgeous, so therefore they think you will think they aren't good enough. I no if I see a woman at a club or bar that is stunning I would be sh*t scared to talk to her just because I feel that I wouldn't live up to her expectations. So maybe what you could do is if a guy looks at you, smile :). Even a small thing like a smile can put so much relaxation to a guy. This will let off a signal by you saying "im not going to bite, have a go". Letting off little signals like those can help guys confidence levels when it comes to attractive women. Hope this helps

  • Try to be more froward and welcoming with the guy. You may not be noticing it but are putting on a front that says stay away. Make eye contact with the guy you are after, smile, be friendly and sweet. Guys respond to that. If that is not your style trying being friendly and nice but direct.

  • there intimidated, lot of guys are afraid a really gorgeous women are out of there league. A girl is only out of your league if you make her that way.

  • It sounds like you are just not going to the right places to find people to chat with.

  • Hey, I don't know if this will help reassure you at all, but I also have had the issue of being told that I am intimidating. I have asked plenty of women out and it has resulted in many interesting responses, but what I have discovered is that spending time with older women is a lot easier.

    How I would break it down is this:

    Most young people have a lot of insecurities and are intimidated by people who don't. A lot of people take some time to figure out who they are and when they are younger they don't have the guts or the confidence to see themselves beside someone who is self-assured and knows what they want.

    What you have is more of a strength or gift than anything. Seriously, my resume looks better than people who make their sh*t up, because I didn't have anyone tethering me down. You have the chance to live a life full of travel and exploration and you should take advantage of that.

  • It could be anything from your appearance, the way you talk, the language you use the tone of the voice, your physical movements. Some people just appear a certain way and we judge them by the way they look.


What Girls Said 2

  • it's possible it's your own set paradigm. you may not be intimidating but just think you are.

  • Are you sure they mean physically intimidating? 5'10" isn't usually enough to scare a guy, unless he's shorter.