Do some men have a PROBLEM with pretty women?

Not to toot my own horn, but I'm a nice looking young woman. Am I saying I'm perfect? No one on earth is, but I'm definitely far from ugly.

1) I dated a guy briefly who was a complete jerk, he treated me like crap and belittled me. After I broke up with him I began questioning myself but I got over it. Now I see him later on and he's all hugged up and in love with this girl who is unattractive. To give you an idea of what I'm talking about, she sort of reminds me of Gabourey Sidibe (from the movie Precious). Maybe he's truly in love but I don't get it. Why is he all happy and treating her like a queen but treated me like crap?

2) My friend's ex boyfriend was talking sh*t about me and saying stuff like I am completely not my type and he doesn't think I'm cute at all. This is funny to me because whenever I would see him before they started dating he would always flirt and be pretty nice to me. The thing I don't get is, my friend that dated him isn't that cute. She is a wonderful person but she's about a 3. How can he be with her and go out with her but then say that I am unattractive when I'm clearly not? I'm genuinely confused.

I am not trying to say that I'm everyone's cup of tea and I'm hot sh*t so please don't take it like that..I just don't understand how guys can treat me this way and then end up with girls that look worse than me? I mean if you think I'm ugly okay but how are you with a chick that's even uglier than me acting like I'm ugly?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Some people are just stupid, I'm sure you'll meet a nice guy eventually if you look in the right places.

    • *Rolls eyes*... Now that's some helpful information.

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    • Thanks

    • Think outside the box, I'll use my own situation as an example:

      1 year ago, I went to the hospital for an accident revolving alcohol, fairly reckless of me IMO. I was at the party and enjoying myself, it was my friends birthday; then my stupid decision was due to a failure to plan. I didn't plan how I was getting home before I started drinking.

      - So the "stupid decision" most people would have pointed out, is that I drank and drove. When in actuality it was me failing to plan a ride home +that

What Guys Said 4

  • They aren't referring to your physical appearance as being ugly, they are referring to your personality. If you don't believe me, take a break for a few hours, then come back and read your question again. You'll notice how in the majority of your question, you are referring only to looks. How people are saying your ugly, but yet they are with someone that appears ugly.

    The personality you present in this question, isn't attractive (not to be rude); it's an ultimate turn-off when women do many things, that list is hard to depict, but one of those things is this behavior of assuming a man wants a trophy wife. Don't get me wrong, we enjoy looking at physical beauty; however, if you go up to any "beautiful" girl out there (randomly) a majority of them will have really horrid personalities.

    Personally, I've dated two women that I'd rate high on the scale of attraction (9-10) to my eyes. During the courting stage, I broke it off almost immediately. The first was acting like I'm a creeper because I saw her completely wrong, as an object of desire, but then she treated me like the public treats pedophiles (I can't blame her); the second, was all into herself and didn't care how I felt. She wanted a relationship and I told her "i like you too, but let's take things slow" and she asked me out not even 15 minutes later!...

    I hope it helps, just trying to give you some constructive critism.

    ~ ArtistBBoy

    • Here in the south they actually use the term ugly to describe a person's personality. I never heard it before, but they will say things such as "That girl was being ugly to me and she doesn't even know me." or "I don't mean to be ugly in saying this, but she does need to lose a bit of weight." etc. I definitely feel people can be ugly on the inside. External beauty doesn't matter in the end. It's a tough lesson for some to learn, but an important one. +1

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    • You're right QA, about guys caring about looks. But what your failing to see is what "ugly" means; you don't have to be rude or mean to be ugly, granted those are two of the most common ones. Here are some other examples: Obsessive, Needy / Clingy, Whiny, etc...

      - Ugly is anything that constitutes something negatitve to one's self or someone else.

      I can understand with explaining things the way you have to get a good answer, but there are alternatives to talking about these other girls and men

    • I doubt guys call girls ugly because of their personality. They would just say she is a bitch or mention what they didn't like about her personality.

  • 1.Firstly no one looks like Gabourey Sidibe Except Shrek and he's a cartoon. So I'm positive that is an exageration, and your just tyring to make yourself feel better.

    2. Secondly you probably are overestimating your overall attractiveness. Most guys upgrade they don't downgrade. Unless your personaltiy is so sh*t that he hates your guts and can't stand being around your face. People relate emotions to a persons image, so no matter how hot you actually are, when he sees you again, those same emotions are going to be linked to your image and he's going to think you suck.

    Look, guys don't just go for looks. I'ts not the only thing we go for. That is a misconception that many women have, and its also perpetuated by the media to get you to buy more crap that you don't need or want.

    Looks are the most important thing for guys, the most important, but not the only thing.

    Because looks are the most important thing, its why men sleep with women and then leave them. Because we are getting our best and most important needs met.. which is the physical surface level looks.

    But then we sleep with you and dump you when the sex is bad or we think you are a horrible person. We don't feel bad at all for doing so, because after all you are a horrible lay and your personality sucks.

    Which usually puts attractive girls in a downward spiral of self loathing behavior, which in turn evolves into more barriers, being more suspicious of men and sometimes hating men altogether.

    I want to point out the show the bachelor. There were pleanty of hotter women than vienna but he dumped them because they sucked.

    He picked uglier women over them. (they were still hot enough)

    And that's the thing. Women have to be hot "enough" which means doable. A mans rating system is a bit complicated logistically on how our minds work. Suffice it to say the higher the scale the smaller the gap. For instance the difference between a 7 and an 8 is negligible.

    People also treat people based off of vibe.. For instance if you act like a cold prudish ice queen men are going to assume you are a bitch and therefore need to treat you like one, even when you arent.

    Looks don't have anything to do with how men are treating you, its how you are acting, how you are holding yourself that is doing it.

    Imagine megan fox for a moment acting like legally blonde.

    Suddenly people are going to look and treat her much differently.

    Looks have to do with whether or not a guy will want you, personality will get them to keep you, and tells them how to treat you.

    • Yes this makes sense, superdudeman =P

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    • Think about how someone walks, like a man. You know how you see a guy in a club trying to act all "tough". A lot of women do this same thing. They try and act all confident and uninterested to try and seem unavailable so that men will like them. IT DOESNT WORK. People like people to act fun, and open without drama and give out a good positive vibe. Girls just wanna have fun? be like that. Don't walk with a stick up your ass. Swing your arms a bit, and be more girly. Watch the movie -enchanted-

    • You know how some women that are "upper class" or you see them walking down the street with their prada shoes and their louis vuitton bags? (usually knock offs). Watch them. id say about 90% of them act like ice queens. Because they think that its what's "proper". Let me tell you its not sexy, not sexy at all. We want you to be that way if you are married only when you are alone.. if you are with us, we will hate it.. But if you are single or still looking... stop it. its not sexy.

  • Could you get a lot of guys to have sex with you? that's typically easier

    • That's typically easier for ....? what?

    • I don't want to have sex with a lot of guys. That's gross.

  • sometimes I do, the hot gorgeous ones are usually the ones that tease you or lead you on, are stuck up.


What Girls Said 5

  • When someone has a beautiful personality their physically appearance tends to become more attractive. Either that or he's trying to make you jealous.

    • Okay you're right, that's what I think it is: He was trying to make me jealous. This makes the most sense. Thanks!

    • Why would he make you jealous by being with someone less attractive than you? that doesn't make sense. to make a woman jealous you have to be wtih someone better than her.

  • Yes. U can say ur hot and it's OK. DONT listen to the nutcases here. The reason they do it is that men hate pretty women. I've been told I'm
    The hottest woman. Every man hates my guts treats me like I'm evil and wants to hurt me. I'm also super nice. Men hate pretty women. They're all
    Gay I think or insecure. It's true. Not all men but many. The hotter u are the more you're hated.

  • You may be beautiful,but that dosn't give you the right to rank anybody.Remember being pretty only

    gets you so far.

    • Let's just be completely honest here, you know when you see someone unattractive and you know when you see someone who is attractive. There is a difference. I understand looks aren't everything but I don't know too many guys that are like "Whoa look at the personality on that one!". I've never seen a men's magazine filled with the 100 Nicest Personality Women

  • 1. your looks may have nothing to do with how you were treated

    • I get that, but I don't understand how they can turn around and be with less attractive women than me?

    • Maybe there is something more to the relationship than you know. maybe she pays for everything or has sex with him whenever he wants.

  • also, can you explain HOW he treated you like crap?

    • Called me names, put me down, cheated and spread rumors and tried to ruin my rep after we broke up

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    • Well I've heard that guys treat pretty girls especially worse to bring them down to earth. actually he couldve just been intimidated by you the whole time and felt like he needed to put you down to bring you to his level.