Hey guys! I've been seeing my boyfriend for about three months. I know that it's just kinda guys' nature to look... but what really hurts is that it seems like he finds tons of other girls hotter than me.
He's says I'm attractive and "cuter," and that he goes for cuter girls... but when I asked how I was in comparison to his exes, he said two of his exes AND a mutual friend of ours were hotter than me! (One of the exes was also cuter than me according to him..)
I was maybe dumb for asking the question but it really hurts that he doesn't seem to find me hot...
Guys, why would you date a guy who you didn't think was hot enough to compete with exes? Why wouldn't you try to date the girl you were more attracted to?
Most Helpful Guy
Hotness doesn't correlate all that well with attractiveness. Cuteness does much moreso. It's not like he's saying those girls are better than you. He's probably trying to explain that hotness doesn't matter to him. You and he likely have a different definition of what hotness is. Some guys will even say they don't like when a girl is hot because they consider hot to be slutty and don't like slutty.
Regardless, I don't really like his tactic. In reality when a guy has a girlfriend that he doesn't call hot yet insists that she's cute, it probably means that in a way, you're the sexiest girl he knows. It's a hard concept to grasp, but basically, hot is more in your face while sexy can be hidden. Cute is often more sexy than hot to these guys.
Don't dump him. He doesn't deserve that. He just needs to be educated. Tell him you don't like feeling like you're not as hot because it makes you feel like he doesn't desire you sexually. I bet he will tell you he does find you sexier and therefore, in a way, hotter than anyone else.0