GUYS: Do good guys really not realize they looked at another woman?

My boyfriend says he only ever subconsciously looks at any other women... he said he scans everyone the same - women AND men just like viewing his surroundings. He said he might see a girl and think she's attractive or whatever and then he looks away and stops as soon as he catches himself... and that he never thinks prolonged thoughts of how someone is really hot and thinks how he wants to see her ass or anything like that and that he himself thinks that would be disrespectful. So is it true that anytime I SEE him look at another girl - he may not realize he did it and actually NOT remember the girl when I ask later? I'm talking like only 5 minutes later? Can it really be that quickly forgotten in some men's brains?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I look at things all the time. Whether it's male, female, human, animal, or inanimate is irrelevant. It is certainly possible. I look subconsciously to make sure I'm not running into people as I walk by them. I look at people's faces in case it's someone I'm obligated to greet. I look at people's hands to make sure they aren't going to mug me. Looking at things does not equate to checking out other women.

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    • Thanks.... that's helpful. I need to hear from more guys that not all men are just always checking out other girls. I've had a horrible past with a bunch of losers. I'm scared as hell to let anyone have my whole heart now. I appreciate your thoughtful comment. :)

What Guys Said 3

  • Counter-question: Why should you care? Are you not enough for yourself? Why is it that you insist on being the only girl worth looking at?

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    • I didn't ask for a counter question. And if a guy really cares, he wouldn't even "want" to look at another woman like that. I am enough for myself - I want to be enough for my man.... and that is why I am not okay with him thinking sexual thoughts about someone else. If he is, he should be honest because it's MY decision if I do or do NOT want to be with someone like that. Liars are pathetic - it's not right to make decisions for someone else like that.

    • Liars -are- pathetic.

      And I think I may be talking with one right now.

      You are projecting your own self-hatred onto someone who is equally laborious as you. Well, that sucks.

    • What the hell are you talking about? And why the hell would you derive at believing you are talking to a liar? You have intellectual issues.... *rolls eyes* You are inconsiderate to people's actual initial questions. You strike me as one who loves to upset others and argue. That's very sad. I'm done with talking to you and I won't read any further comments you leave.

  • Yes... most guys look at other woman that are attractive. It is human nature to admire things that you like... for instance girls will admire other woman's clothing or a purse perhaps. To us men it might be golf clubs cars trucks or maybe woman but really its not that big of a deal we are with you so don't worry about it unless he is a scumbag and not faithful.

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    • So does that mean he's likely being honest about it.... thinks someone is attractive and it stops there.... doesn't need to stare or continue to think about it..... it's a not big deal kinda thing where he would see it and then move on? I know he's not a scumbag and don't think he would cheat physically.... but to me, fantasies about others is cheating. He says he only ever fantasizes about me. I just hope it's true.... wondering how many guys are capable of that if any truly are?

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    • Honestly, I don't check out other men when I'm in a relationship. If I notice a guy is "cute", it's only because he crossed my path and I wasn't looking for it. I would never think "omg he's hot" or anything like that. It feels immoral to me to look at another man like that when I'm committed to someone. I actually will look away from anything sexual on tv and guys with shirts off etc because I don't feel like that's appropriate. I love my guy and only have eyes for him....

    • I just don't understand why if he thinks I'm so hot and he says I'm hotter than anyone else not just because I look good but also because I'm his girl and he cares about, why then would he look at anyone else? I don't get that about men. It makes me worry that even though he's coming home to me, he might be thinking of them?? (although he says he doesn't even look and that I imagine it?)

  • My personal opinion, is that all guys want to seem like they "respect" girls.

    But He is definitely having some thoughts about these girls which are far from respectful.

    You shouldn't get mad or annoyed its natural for guys, after all he is dating YOU, not those girls, so as hot as they might be, I'm sure he thinks you are better.

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    • What I don't understand is, if he thinks I'm better.... then why look at someone else?? What is so great about looking at someone other than who you are with? I don't get that about most guys??

What Girls Said 1

  • ey we have eyes - male female. so anything beautiful and shining does catch our eyes so don't worry about it. :) I'm sure you do too. so don't let it bother you. I caught my man check someone out, and I was a little bit p*ssed before but I realized I shoudnt because I do it too. lmao. so chill. :)

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    • I Don't do it - I make a point to not even look to see if a guy is or isn't attractive because I respect my relationship. So you are NOT sure that I do it.... you don't know me.... and I don't do it.

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