I almost feel like hating myself for this..It seems like guys only want me for the way I look! It's so annoying! Like guys seem to think it's ok to touch me, but then if they like me they chicken out ( I never let anyone get too far, if you know what I mean because I don't want that before I actually have a boyfriend..)
I've never met a guy who actually was interested in me :S
Or no one has ever told ME they liked me and wanted to meet again, if they were interested they told my sister or my friends that they thought I was hot or lovely etc..wtf? then it's like they disappear, I mean I never see them again or never hear from them again.. What's going on? So confusing!
I honestly don't know what I'm supposed to do, what am I doing wrong (I always try to be myself and all that)
I don't dress slutty or act like it or anything! I'm abit shy actually tbh
but It's not like I'm afraid of people and I'm not boring or weird or creepy at all! Seriously, What are they afraid of? :s
Most Helpful Guy
ok, first of all, the way you look is part of your portfolio just like your personality, intelligence, family, friends, wealth (yeah...), style, etc.
secondly, its biologically viable to look for beautiful and symetrical mates because on average they're healthier which is one of the main reasons why beauty is such a strong value that overrides a lot of conscious thought in men
now you may hate yourself for an attribute you just happen to have, but I'd advise against it because that would show that you are in short supply on another very important aspect: rational thought
in short "dont hate yourself because you're lucky enough to be beautiful"
accept that men are visual beings part of the way, and that's how far beauty will get you,
for a full and well balanced portfolio, you also need the other traits I mentioned above, some of which you cannot change or influence, others however you can
so while you can't change your family or basic intelligence, you can change your education, attitude, style or friends
dont misundestand me though I'm not saying you should become or pretend to be someone else
its rather to: "do not focus so much on one aspect of yourself but give the others some more attention and it might do you good"
let me try to put it into a metaphor: suppose you meet a stray dog, and you carry some meat with you, instinctively they will be drawn towards you, just like beauty makes men flock around you, now it all depends on your action: do you ignore the dog, do you leave some food, or do you approach it, feed it directly and therefore create a connection and attachment
each of these actions stimulates a different reaction in the dog,
if you ignore it, it might follow you for a while but will leave rather quickly because its better off searching somewhere else
if you just leave the food, it will most likely come close, try to snatch it, run away and eat it, staying away from you and maybe coming back later to see if you got more defaulting back to seaching somewhere else if you dont, and repeating if you do
if you offer the food out of your hand, and have it come closer, feeding it little pieces while petting it, and getting it to acknowledge you it will be more cautious at first, maybe even run away once or twice but eventually come closer and start to look at you differently than the others - even start protecting you, showing affection, submission and anything a good dog is supposed to do ;)
now if you can just stop looking at them like they're dogs looking for food I think you're off good
but the behavior is the same, welcoming mimic and gestures, a warm smile, complimenting, yes even light petting can do wonders
protip: become enthusiastic about something, not only will it raise your self-esteem from the feeling of no accomplishment, to one of personal success which is immeasurably more satisfying, it will also make you much more approachable because there are topics you can easily discuss without discomfort to him or you