Good looking, caring guy, but why do I always get shot down!?

I am a 21 year old male, am caring, cute looking etc. Girls check me out when I'm in a bar or club, but every time I try to go up to a women, I get shot down. I am intelligent, can be funny (but that is not my forte). I don't get it.


0|0
4|6

Most Helpful Guy

  • Just from your first sentence I can already see that you think that women is attracted to a guy in the same way you are attracted to a girl.

    When you look at a girl, you will judge her by her looks, breast size, etc. and honestly right now you are probably saying "no way I like character, intelligence. blah blah" and you may truly do and I applaud you for it. But it's ok to admit it, we as men are hard wired for that type of thinking.

    The problem is that you probably think women are like that too! Sure women will react better to a good looking guy but the only thing that gives you is to approach them easier, or get noticed easier by girls.

    To get more insite on what to do, read the book "The Game" by neil strauss. Also read up on the net and join the PUA community. Here's a link to get you started. link

    0|2
    0|0

What Girls Said 4

  • I agree with the two previous posters. Maybe it's not you, but it's the location. I don't go to bars looking for a relationship- well especially not now that I'm an old married woman- haha, but you know what I mean.

    0|0
    0|0
  • wow that a hard question, we girls always check guys out its just the style of life these days. I don't know what is you do that a girl turns you down and all also depends what kind of girls you try to hook up with. I mean I agree that your a good looking but don't compare girls looks to your self, and maybe the girls your trying to get together with already has a boyfriend or something. there's a lot varieties why.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Awwwwww sweety don't feel bad I'm 21 also and I go through similar experiences but with men. I think since your such a cute guy and you have wonderful qualities women get intimidated. They also then to think you might be a typical "player" and turn you down because they think you have girls on the side. Don't feel bad that things like this happens to you because your not alone. Women shouldn't be so quick to judge. Be patient because one day you'll find a woman that will appreciate you for who you are. We're young and we have a lot to learn about love and the opposite sex. Remember the experiences you go through will make you a better man. So stay that caring cute looking man you are and don't change. Good Luck!

    0|0
    0|0
  • Have you ever tried approaching a woman outside of a bar or club? When I'm in bars or clubs I tend to check out guys I think are hot but usually I want to do nothing more than that cos often the guys are drunk, a one night sort of thing and it's also harder to really see what a guy is like when you're in a pub/club and he's drunk. People aren't their usual selves. Not all girls think that way, but it's possible that you've just been going for the girls who think like me.

    1|1
    0|0

What Guys Said 5

  • Sometimes, I'll say "hey", and I'll see something that'll make me want to ask her a question and I'll just start asking and sometimes it turns into a conversation, sometimes it doesn't. It usually just happens pretty quickly when I follow up with a question. That's also when I'm generally curious, lol. But that's how I get around people who seem like they usually wouldn't open up in the first place.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Dude don't worry. Just go up to a chick and tell her you are a 9 inch package. You won't get shot down.

    But if that doesn't work, go with the flow of communication a.k.a body language. Bad body langauage shows your uninterested personality (not focusing on the convo, not focusing on her: not looking at her). Not following HER body language can be a big down fall as well. If you creep a woman out, things aren't going to work for you. Make her feel comfortable and whatever you do don't be offensive in any way and know your limits. One of the reasons I think you may get shot down is because of your appraoch, but I could be wrong considering I don't know you. Compliment her, ask her about her interests, tell her about yourself, and just spark up the conversation man. From what I have read, you have a pretty good personality. Just do what you gotta do.

    And if you still don't get anyone, one word: Whores.

    1|1
    1|0
  • I'd stop looking for girls in the club bro. That's a bad idea from the start.

    0|0
    0|0
  • i can say that woman don't know what they want and when they want someone good and nice, it's too late

    0|0
    0|0
  • Then where do you look for girls, at your age, that is the prime spot, are you in college, anyone in your classes that you are attracted to, maybe ask her out for a cup of coffee at the local shop.

    Just an Idea, hope it helps!

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...