How do I start making myself feel beautiful and valued?

I just feel like lately, I've been trying to get my boyfriend to tell me I'm beautiful, but it seems as though he's looking past me and just treating me like just another girl. It's been months since he told me I'm beautiful, and I've been looking to have him validate that I am. But now, I'm tired. Tired of doing that. I think I need to make myself feel beautiful... I just don't know how...


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Ok here it is. No bullsh*t. If he didn't think you were beautiful, he wouldn't be with you. If there's anything you should do, it's work on the communication between the two of you. If he's not making you feel valued than you need to let him know. If he doesn't make any changes, than find a man who will make you feel like queen of his world. You are very pretty so I wouldn't worry about it...;oP

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What Guys Said 1

  • It sounds like like confidence issues and more like communication issues. Even if you feel better about yourself, it won't help you feel better about your relationship. You need to tell your boyfriend how you feel.

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    • I admit that I do have confidence issues, especially now when my boyfriend goes around saying a bunch of other girls are gorgeous and cute and he doesn't even compliment me much anymore, and when he does, it's not with the same enthusiasm. I just had it. But I will talk to him... Thank you.

What Girls Said 4

  • its never a good idea to rely on others especially a boyfriend to make you feel a certain way, that's all up to you even if you have to go as far as looking in the mirror and saying "hey I may look like crap today,but I make crap look good" or " I'm beautiful no matter what anyone thinks"...im not trying to offend you but what's going to happen if you guys break up?..you'll probably become one of those people who need to surround their selves with people who constantly tell them how beautiful they are...you can't expect the words from someone else to change how you truly feel about yourself, because they aren't going to be there every single time you look in the mirror (and feel less than pretty) or every time you have a bad hair day etc...you have to believe it and then it starts to shine though I know that's corny..but I used to feel like this and just like you I use to rely on my boyfriend to tell me how beautiful or how cute he thinks I am..then we broke up, and I started to constantly ask my friends '"am I pretty", "do you think other people think I'm pretty".."do I look better than I did yesterday" lol annoying right?..it got so bad as to where I wouldn't leave the house if I felt ugly (for that day) but then my mom told me everyone isn't going to think the samething about me and I need to be able to tell myself I'm beautiful because I can't expect the people around me to always do it...lol didn't mean to ramble on and on...just make sure you tell "yourself" that you're beautiful despite your flaws, and that your flaws can be apart of what makes you so beautiful..but you have to believe it might take time but it'll all be worth it in the end...if I can do it then I'm sure you can too...

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  • It seems like you have very low self-esteem. I don't think what you are really seeking is validation in your beauty, but rather, some reassurance that you are still loved and wanted in your relationship. You have value and you know it, and it causes you to be distressed when you don't feel you are being appreciated, otherwise you would not have worded your question the way you did. You do not want to know that you have value, but that you are valued - that you are desired, treasured, and loved. There is nothing wrong with that, and do not let anyone - even your boyfriend - convince you of anything else.

    Cultivating a relationship and maintaining it is hard. A lot of people are under the impression that just being together and staying together is enough. It's not. You seem to put quite a bit of thought into your relationship, how to forgive, how to move on, how to improve and be desirable. It is evident that you love the person you are with very much. Sometimes, this is not enough. When you love some one, you see past their faults, you accept them as they are (because honestly, change does not come easy to most, if you are going into a relationship expecting change, you are bound for disappointment), you put their happiness first, and while forgiveness may not come easily, it is something you always aim for because you love them and it's worth the struggle. That is a lot of what a long term relationship is forgiveness, redemption, and compromise. You have done much of this. You have forgiven him for his online affairs and his flirtatious behaviors, you excuse him for neglecting you by trying to take responsibility for your own happiness, you have started changing who you are for him to try to meet his desires. You have said goodbye to people in your life who have challenged your relationship, and still, what sacrifices has he made for you?

    If you have to make yourself feel beautiful, valued, and happy because of his indifference towards you, then there is definitely something amiss, because healthy relationships do not function that way. This boy says he wants to marry you some day. This is not a decision that should be made lightly. A relationship cannot thrive when only one person is making sacrifices. It leads to resentment on the behalf of the person making sacrifices and it causes the person relying on those sacrifices to take the other for granted.

    You will depend on this boy even more in marriage than you do right now. Marriage changes things. You become more cut off from the world as your efforts are put into building a family of your own. Your paths become one as you aim for a future together. Ask your friends if they've noticed changes in you. Have your life goals suddenly changed since being with him? Would you want him to treat your future children together the way he is treating you? Consider these questions before marrying, please.

    No one would fault you for saying goodbye to some one unhealthy for you.

    Keep hope Desirae.

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  • Don't care what anybody thinks its what's on the inside and plus Ur already beautiful so don't worry trust I've seen worse.

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  • If you're only validation of your own self worth is being told by someone else that you're beautiful, you've got issues.

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    • That's why I'm asking how I can make myself feel beautiful without needing that, which is why I'm asking. If you're going to not say anything helpful, don't answer.

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