How to ask a girl out? when you're feeling ugly?

Hi I have a question how do I ask a girl out without coming across too strong I never know how to do this, when I'm talking to a girl I come across confident but really I am shy that's my biggest problem and I feel like I'm kind of ugly so I feel like I will be rejected so please please please help me! thank you.

Updates:
i didn't expect to get this much support from you guys I really thank you
the main reason I feel ugly is because I grew up with a lot of racial abuse & I don't like the colour of my skin, I feel dirty & ugly and that's where I loose my confidence in askin a girl out because I feel she will see the same.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If it's any consolation, I don't think you are ugly. All girls are different, but confidence is key. No, don't stroll up to her and act like you just dropped from heaven. But don't be all quiet, that just gives her an opportunity to turn you down. Some girls find shy to be cute, so sure, be shy. Just remember to carry yourself in a proud way.

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    • Yes, take her advice. Believe that you are strong, be confident and make sure you don't come off as a pushover or a d***head. They're are a lot uglier people then you out there who have found success in women by just the way they carry themselves and their ability to manipulate a situation into their wants. So don't make your ugliness an excuse for you inability to act and carry yourself.

    • Ok spikes1005466

What Girls Said 12

  • Just like everyone else said, you're not ugly at all. But sometimes, even if we KNOW we're not actually that bad looking, we can still FEEL ugly or somehow insecure. Try to figure out why you might be insecure. Is it because you're somehow different than most people or see yourself that way? For example, you mentioned being shy. Some of the common advice for guys is to act confident, but what if that's just not really your personality?

    My point is, a lot of cool girls like guys who are individuals and a lot of girls also like it when a guy is a little shy. So I mean feel free to try different approaches, but don't be afraid to be yourself and see how things go. Remember, everyone gets insecure sometimes and it's totally normal. It doesn't actually reflect on you at all, it's just a feeling that comes and goes.

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  • The only way you may come across too strong is if she says no and you keep asking and not getting the message, you know, just act the way you always do when your with her and just ask her out like normal, no big production...all of us have ugly days, your not ugly trust me! ...but you've got to see that for yourself...if you really like this girl don't let your shyness get in the way! you'll regret it! If she likes you back, hopefully she likes you as a person both inside and out! and she'll say yes :)

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  • jus tbe more positive! and work on things you don't like so much.

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  • you are absolutely beautiful:)

    i think sensitive shy guys are the sexiest, vs. the egotistical macho type.

    so be confident in the guy you are, because girls like that more than anything and if she doesn't appreciate it, move on and find some girl that will

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  • Hi!

    I think your main question is that you're really out of confidence.Don't care your color of your skin or your racial abuse or other.Maybe the girl doesn't care,too!Let her know you and receive you!Just need a little of courage,you'll success!You must believe yourself!

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  • i think you should b happy with your self a happy guys is HOT be CONFIDENt and not be over emotional but not an emotionless asshole either b you do your own thing and make a girl feel needed at times all these qualities should show her you really love yourself and will eventually love her as well :) GOOD LUCK

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  • Ugly? I find you attractive. If you are feeling ugly , you shouldn't be asking girls out , most women do not like men that are not confident. You need to build up your confidence before you start looking for dates. Hugs

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    • Thank you your amazing

    • I agree fire but I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that we don't get hit on ... hardly ever ... you go outside your house and run into 15 men on the way to get your mail ... It is easy for you to feel confident when you are getting hit on constantly but many men don't have that luxury. It's hard to feel like you are gold when everybody around you seems brighter and shinier than you are.

      Food for thought.

    • Yes exactly Xplict1T

  • Get to know her first talk over the phone, become friends go bowling with her friends and yours, and don't make it a big deal say something like "So does this mean we are boyfriend and girlfriend? It doesn't matter what's on the outside :).

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  • omgsh I'm srry but ull find someone who likes you for who you are I'm srry you have to feel that way but god will lead you 2 that special someone pray and ask him to give you strength and he will :) GOOD LUCK

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  • don't. love yourself and then do it

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  • So, I want to first tell you that no, you're not ugly. You're actually average looking which is perfect because girl's don't generally look for a guy that looks better than them anyway. You're good looking actually. One major thing which is a huge turn off for me is guys who think they're ugly or have low-self-esteem issues. It is great to keep pretending to come off as a confident person because you have to fake it until you start believing that you ARE confident. I find you pretty attractive but for females that is not all they look for in a guy. They look at a number of things such as health, height, confidence, financial stability, emotional stability, intelligence, humor, personality, character... etc.

    You have no reason to not be confident. =)

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  • just from looking at your profile pic, you aren't ugly at all. you should be confident and sure of yourself and then it will be much easier to talk to girls. we are human too! many of us have the same insecurities as you so please don't let how you feel about your looks hold you back

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    • Thanks I appreciate it thanks again

    • The people who were racially abusive to you are ugly, not you. Don't internalize the hateful and negative things people said about you. People who treat others like that are miserable and have nothing of value to add. Don't let them bring you down. Everyone doesn't feel that way and you shouldn't feel like that either.

What Guys Said 16

  • Every guy who doesn't get any girl he wants suffers from self esteem issues. I've noticed the girls all just say "go for it" and to be honest that's what you should do. But we (us guys) seem to have a different view on such aggressive action and we tend to shy away from it.

    If you really think you're not good looking then just post your picture on one of those rate my looks sites and see what you get.

    If someone finds you ugly because of the colour of your skin then they're a racist and you should just forget about them.

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  • I know exactly how you feel; I've often felt the same way. Ultimately, it's a matter of just going for it. Every single girl is different, so that means every girl's physical preferences for guys are different. If you're well-groomed, you smell good, and your hair, clothes and shoes are neat, you've done your part. What matters from then on is your personality, and the way you make a girl feel. That takes time and practice.

    Go out and get experience striking up conversations and seeing if girls are interesting, fun and attractive enough for YOU to date. Qualify THEM; stop worrying about whether or not you measure up, because you already do. If a girl can't see and appreciate that fact, simply move on to the next. Best of luck.

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  • Buddy whether your ugly or not that's not your decision to make its the girls. All you can control is your own self confidence.

    Let me ask you this: How many ugly or less than average dudes have you seen with hot chicks? They're everywhere! How do you think they got them? Extreme confidence!

    Let the girl decide. It sounds like your confidence is super low and you need to work on that first before hitting on girls. One thing I notice is you need to smile. That is extremely important!

    Everyone has negative qualities. Its impossible not to have them. You need to stop focusing on the negative and focus only on the positive qualities you have everyday. You need to do it morning day and night and keep reminding yourself.

    SMILE! Girls want a fun happy guy not a sad loser

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  • well you don't sound happy with yourself.. Two things.. One fix things you don't like about you.. Start hitting the gym.. If you're teeth are a little crooked get some invisaligns. Buy some new clothes.. If you lack education .. maybe join some classes at a local college.. to what you have to do to be where you want to be in life. And when you're happy with yourself you will be more confident and happy with others.

    Second, don't be afraid of rejection.. Who cares of she rejects you.. move on.. everyone gets rejected.. it just happens. It might have nothing to do with you at all. She may just be getting over someone or not interested in dating anyone.. Or interested in someone else already she is pursuing it doesn't always mean you're ugly.. or not worth her time.. But... if you're getting rejected allll the time.. well maybe have a friend watch how you engage the conversation or something because you may just be coming off with a bad vibe.. and need some coaching ..

    ANyway good luck mannnnnn

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    • Its not that I have bad teeth or no education I grew up with a lot of racial abuse and I 'n not comfortable with my skin and I don't really no what to do.

  • Firstly, you need to get your mental image in shape. Going about this is unique to every man, but look up 'Inner Game'. It's essentially a form of Buddhism mixed with modern 'feel good' philosophy.

    You need to remember that a)you're the master of your own universe and b) no one can stop you from being that master if you don't let them.

    As asking the girl out, you need to run the risk of it being slightly ambiguous. My favorite routine is "I'm going to have a drink at Bar x. They do great xyz. Feel free to join me'.

    If she likes you, she'll jump at the chance. If she just sees you as a friend or slightly interested, this is where it probably comes out. If you totally misread her, then it will be really obvious.

    If she says yes, get in. If she says no, but offers to meet you another time, then it's still good. If you get no reply or just a no with no new plans, then she doesn't want the date.

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  • HAH your name is its hard 1984. That's funny. Just takes alll the seriousness out of any question you pose.

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  • Looks can be over rated. At least for me. If I'm talking to a girl and she is funny and fun to be around and does cute things,it raises her up like 3 points. Anybody that is too focused on looks you don't want to be with,there not good people. Its the way you roll. If a girl likes the way you handle yourself then your money. You sound like a nice guy. Just be who you are

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  • fake it til you make it. That's what they teach you in sales. If you don't feel confident that's fine, especially if you are coming across as confident than just keep doing what you're doing. Fake like you feel confident and than one day without knowing it book you'll feel confident too.

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  • haha stop being a bitch. You have already lost if your not confident. The key to a womans heart is a good sense of humour so make her laugh. You know what you have to do if you want to look better, personally I think everyone that doesn't look to good on the face should focus on making their body look better. No matter what girls say, they like men with nice bodies and if you have a good personality on top your sorted. Also when asking them out don't plan with them, make the plan around you, so you could say, I'm feeling ugly today so I'm gonna have a walk in the park, nature makes me feel a bit better, although you look like you don't need the walk wanna join me? I promise to make you laugh at least 3 times. Damn any girl that says no then f##k it. Just say OK I have a mate that isn't so boring.

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  • You don't look ugly in your profile pic. No homo.

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  • "do you like fat guys with no money"

    just joking... for girls is confidence that matters, not beauty, you can have a patch on your eye if you have a great personality

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  • whores never say no.

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  • You're not ugly. Just go for it. You'll do fine.

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  • bro you're tall, dark, handsome. A lot of chics love that. I'm not gay...but I can tell from your pic you are a good looking guy.

    Go for it. Be confident and funny. Your 26...not in high school anymore. Worse case scenario she rejects you...SO WHAT? Move on to the next girl.

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  • 1 year ago a girl had rejected me, she was better looking than me, I asked her reason that, why you had rejected me? She replied you are shy guy, and I don't like shy guy after this I was so dishearten, I wanted to change myself, but nothing happened, now 3 months ago I got another girl she hotter than her, she is charming beauty, I am still shy guy, no confidence, but I have a cute girlfriend, she loves me very much, we love each other, mean, be approachable guy, there is someone for you, and it's upto you, when and how you get her, Good Luck.

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  • Ahhh, an easy one... you just go like: HEY! I'm ugly, wanna go out with me?

    or

    HEY! you fancy you some ugly guy tonight? YAY! lets hit it...

    trust me it should work.

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    • Actually this could work on some girls because then they'll go "you're not ugly! you're cute!!!" hahaha

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    • Or they will just roll their eyes and wait until man number 1020302459423 hits on them and if he's the same ... well there is always man number 1020302459424

      A little jaded yes ... but I'm just calling it like it is

    • HEHE!

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