I feel like I deserve a title now since we have been together this long. WHY? WHY? WHY? - Frustrated - Advice Please!

I have been "seeing/dating/hanging out" with this guy for 10 months now. His sisters actually set us up. I was really close with his one sister and she thought we would be great for each other. He had just gotten out of a long 6 year relationship.. super serious. He had been single for about 4 months. They ended in a bad way.. she up and left him for some guy out of state. So needless to say he was crushed by it and his sister said that he took the breakup very hard. (He’s 25 and I’m 21) Things are going great between me and this guy and I have brought up the "relationship talk" several times now and he has always said oh I'm not quite ready yet.. but don't worry we will be in a relationship someday just give me time. That is his typical response. I started being more assertive with this talk in recent months because I'm getting impatient. I feel like I deserve a title now since we have been together this long. We act like a couple in every aspect. He calls me every day after work and every night before he goes to bed. Occasionally we text throughout the day but his office job doesn’t allow for him to be on his phone all day long. We hang out every weekend and stay together. All in all it feels like a relationship to me and this past weekend I got him to agree to the fact that it is like we are in a relationship. I asked him if we could put it on facebook and he said when he got time he would. So far he hasn’t been on facebook to do so. (I know facebook isn’t real life.. lol but to me that would show that he is ready to commit in a way) If people ask him now if he has a girlfriend he will respond well we’ve been dating awhile now but he has yet to classify me as a girlfriend.. Please give me some advice! Maybe I’m looking way too far into this but what can I do to make him more comfortable? Does he not want to be with me? Is he still hurt from his ex? I just don’t know. I get so down on myself thinking I’m doing something wrong but I think I’m a pretty normal girl and I’m pretty sure I make him happy.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • First off, titles don't mean anything compared to one's actions. That seems to be a popular subject on here. But look, people get married these days like that term is going out of style and what happens, oh yeah they commit adultery. Give him the space he needs, if he just got out of a relationship of that long, I would have waited at least a year to let the hurt heal a little bit. But another note, don't, I REPEAT don't bring social networking sites into your relationship to base where you stand with a person. That does not mean anything. He could put married on there and that would bring a smile ear to ear on your face, but reality is, those words or "statements" are just what they are, words. Base his feelings to you on his actions. With that, good luck.

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    • Thanks for the advice! It really did help A LOT! I don't know why I haven't looked at in that sense before but thanks for opening my eyes up! :)

    • No problem, I am glad my years of heart break and past could help shed some light. It's just makes sense to look at it that way.... they're things you can control in life and things that you can not, those that you can not, just deal with them best you can when confronted.

What Guys Said 2

  • I think its going to take more than 4 months for him to get over a 6 year relationship , You need to show patience and just enjoy what you have with each other without the presure. show him that you are the person he can convide in , as hard as it is you should talk to him about his ex, his fears and not about you ... this is not about you and as soon as you except that then I believe you have a winner !

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    • Very good point! Thank you so much! :)

    • Can I add that I was married before , and it was for the wrong reasons, why ? because she wanted a "title".... she commited adultry. I still love her with all my heart although it dit not work and now devorced for about 4 years now. Phantom is spot on .

  • You are being controlling and imposing or demanding a realtionship status, guys don't work that way, it takes time for a guy to come to the conclusion that you are the one he wants to marry or be with he is still assessing you, by making these demands, you come across as clingy, controling, and unattractive if you keep doing it he will probably dump you...

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    • Thanks for the honest answer.. I appreciate it! I like hearing opinions on here since I know these people don't know me and won't hold back!

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