Went on two dates with this guy. He probably has some low self-esteem, like always saying he's not good enough, no accomplishment, and doing nothing productive etc. and he'd be saying how successful I'm and have everything blah blah blah. He asked things like, "you'd probably don't want to see/hang out/talk with me again?" for quite a few times, like after our dates or talking on the phone. I feel like he's just worrying too much?
It seems like he always worries if he'd give the "wrong answer" when I ask him questions, so sometimes he just wouldn't answer my questions, or he'd say, "you'd probably don't like me because of this"/"It's not how you think. It's not something bad" after answering the questions. I forgot what I asked the other day, probably something related to relationship or dating something like that, he answered but then looked at me and asked cautiously, "That's not the answer you're looking for right?" I told him, "I'm not looking for anything" (I mean, I was just trying to have a conversation to understand him more, there's no standard answer or whatsoever). I don't know if he took it the wrong way or what. Then he said things like, "I'm not looking for anything neither. Just want to hang out and have fun", "I'm not "the one" you know. I'm just not good enough" and that he's "not the boyfriend material." etc. and he said so we're friends now.
But he doesn't act like just a friend. Like he'd call/text me everyday. He got jealous when he saw me on the street with another guy. And it seems like he wants me to be at home, like he worries if I'd be with another guy if I'm not home; he didn't say that, but I can kinda tell from his tone after I answer him where I'm at. One time I called him back after getting his message. He was with his guy friends and I don't know if he's different when he talked with me or what, so after like a minute or less, his friend got all excited and surprised and screamed next to him, "Is that your girlfriend?!?!" and screamed at the phone, "Hey! I'm xx" I was kinda shocked like thinking "what's going on?" in my head. He got all happy and asked, "Did you hear that?" I was still in shock and I couldn't process, so I was like, "huh? what?" and he just laughed, didn't say no or anything. We kept talking for a while and he told me where he was going and who he was going with when I didn't ask. I was actually surprised when he told me the names of his friends who he's with. And if I was him, I would have said "no" directly when the friend asked if I was the girlfriend because I don't want to cause confusion or have my friends think that I'm taken when I'm not, or maybe that's just me?
So now I'm confused because what he's telling me is kinda different from what he's doing. Guys always say that they mean what they say, but at the same time, actions speak louder than words, so should I just take his words - that he only wants to be friends - or does he want more?
Most Helpful Girl
Well I believe he does have low self-esteem. It seems like he believes no matter what he says or do he'll never be good enough for you. Although that seems like a bad thing its really not,becuz it means he cares bout how he acts when he's around you. His actions says he likes you more then a friend. And Guys aren't gud at tellin girls how they feel. So that's why I say follow his actions and don't listen to his words as much.Hes trying to reach out to you but in his mind he thinks he's doing something wrong to upset you. And that makes him want to give up. So what you NEED to do is ensure him he doesn't have to be scared or worried what he says around you. You need to make him feel more comfortable and tell him he can say anything that's on his mind. If you do this I'm sure he'll be much more comfortable and he'll open up more. And there you go a happy ending. :)0