Why is "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" except when it comes to me?

it seems like no one ever has anything good to say about my appearance. all men do is pick me apart...i used to be so confident, used to model...but now I am nothing more than a steaming pile of self hating garbage. I see really large women or women who are not even remotely attractive and all I hear is "beauty is in the eye of the beholder"...well, then how come a man can not accept that I am not perfect and love me despite my flaws? all I hear is I am not as thin as I used to be, or omg you have a zit, omg you are so pale, omg why don't you do your hair? omg you dress up too much, omg why don't you dress up more? I am never enough for anyone and I don't understand why. I am beautiful on the inside so why can't men understand that sure...i am not PERFECT but that does not make me a bad person? why when I go out to a club wearing something sexy, I can be standing next to someone 2 times my weight and people will point out "oh she shouldn't be wearing that, she's too big/pale/ugly" but do not say anything about others?

i used to think I was so pretty...but now I hate myself. should I give up on love all together or should I keep trying? why does everyone target me when I have so much love to give?


0|0
3|5

Most Helpful Guy

  • When people are at the top of their game, others who are not will often bring them down. The people around you criticize you because you are a good looking person. It's even a strategy for pick up artists. Often times, they will attempt to bring down your self-esteem so you're more willing to settle. I must say women have an advantage when it comes to zits. They can cover it up with makeup. As for the uglier women and bigger women, everyone knows their size. There's no use in kicking a downed opponent. These people around you have to drag you down to make themselves feel better. It's the curse for being the best. Don't give up. You'll find a good guy eventually.

    2|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 4

  • Hang out with new people, not everyone is like that.

    2|1
    0|0
  • Sounds like you are picking the wrong people to hang out with. It also sounds like the people who are saying these things to you are envious of how great you do look. At least the things you are being teased about are fixable. Next time they point out something say "funny, hahah, you got me!" As if you don't give a sh*t what they say, then don't miss a beat and keep talking like it didn't bother you at all. They will stop when they know they can't get under your skin.

    2|0
    0|1
  • Self pity is so unattractive...with that attitude you are unattractive... you can find someone but it sounds like you need a retreat or a holiday to get away from it all, trying to hard makes it worse...

    0|0
    0|0
  • Maybe you're hanging in the wrong crowd, there's always someone that'll appreciate someone else as they are. Try not to worry as much about what other people say/think of you (unless of course you just so happen to be morally deprived), just try to be the best you, you can be, and look for someone that appreciates you as you are. I personally have a preference for paler skin tones and recognize inner beauty as most important.

    2|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 3

  • Well If any guy ever told me any of that, I would have some choice words for them. I have chewed out this guy I reallly liked in high school because he told me to pluck my brows one day, needless to say, that kills my crush on him.

    But As Long ass you can look yourself in the eyes and tell yourself your pretty, nothing no one can say or do will change that. I mean I have been told I am plain looking by many guys, but to my man I am pretty. And its also Genetics working here too, like If He has brown eyes and brown hair, he will want a girl who is blond with blue eyes. and will not find a girl with his stuff as attractive.

    I am dating A guy with Blue eyes and blond hair, and I have brown hair and brown eyes, but when I date guy who is the same as me they always have something to say about how I look.

    So be yourself, date people you could be friends with, and screw what others say.

    1|0
    0|0
  • People are just hating on you. Sounds like they are jealous. Make a pact with yourself to ditch every single person who EVER puts you down. Don't stand for it any longer.

    People can only treat you like a doormat if you lay down and let them.

    If guys are criticizing your appearance, there is no way you should even be within ten feet of those guys. There are hundreds of other guys who are probably decent people and would give a lot just to have a chance with you.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It sounds like you need to just step back, breathe, and understand that it's what you like about yourself that matters.

    I mean, I've come to grips with the fact that I will be an A-cup until the day I die. It also means that I won't ever have back pain or huge trenches in my shoulders where my bra straps sit.

    People say things but it's usually those who dislike themselves that pick you apart most or scream 'OMG BECKY LOOK AT HER BUTT" the loudest.

    You sound like a beautiful girl. Here's a boost: You're pretty! :]

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...