Should I tell girls about my bad past?

in the past I dropped college, sleep late, party all the time, get fired from jobs and accomplish nothing. also id hook up a lot, sometimes with sluts who I'd be embarrassed to admit I had sex with. also I had trouble with the law etc.

well I changed all that now. its been a year and I'm happy that I have my life straightened out but I don't know if I should tell girls about my past. on a positive note they may see that I was once a "bad boy" with confidence and because I made mistakes I have experience...but then again they may be really bothered by my past and cause trouble.

i think I will share my past because its best to be honest but at what point should i? right at the start or later on?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I have a past, too. You're not alone. There is a correct formula, here.

    You don't need to let her know everything on a first date. Really, you don't need to let her know anything about your past at all. You need to let her get to know you now. Your past is a part of you, but it's not your future.

    If you start seeing a nice young woman, and you really like her, there might be times when the past comes up, or you have the opportunity to bring it up. Tread carefully, but don't be afraid. If she is having a really rough time in school say, "You know what, baby? You are smart and wonderful, and I know you can do this. Dropping out is not your style. I did that. It wasn't worth it. This is really tough, but you can do it. There's no reason for you to give up; it's not going to make your life any easier. You've got this!" Then help her study.

    If she asks you questions, which she might because she likes you, be honest and straightforward. That being said, it's not her business really who you have slept with, etc. Tell her the answer to her question, and move on.

    Now, from the looks of it, you're like me, and not exactly proud of your past. This is important to relate, if that is true. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Your past is part of the respectable young man you are today. It's how you got to where you are. Remember, though, it was a learning experience and nothing more. You have changed. The guy who did those things is gone, and only the new you is here now. If she asks questions, don't lie, but let her know that you aren't proud of things. Tell her you are not proud of how much you drank, or that you were a ladies man, or that you committed crimes. Let her know that you've learned and grown, and that you want to be an even better guy than you are now for her.


What Girls Said 2

  • i'll tell you from my own experience, you should tell if you feel more comfortable, but it's better to tell from the beginning if you want to, girls usually don't like it when they find that their Boyfriend has been keeping a big issue all along.

    however, I strongly recommend you to leave the " black history " of girls out, this could actually ruin it for you or cause so many issues to begin with, even if we pretend to be cool and not have trouble with it, sometimes and some stories about his past with girls just scars the relationship and the guy, and you have no idea how things that you say to a girl about your bad past with girls effect us and for how long we remember it, generally, we remember these stuff for a long long time.

    i know you feel like being honest, but if this might just annoy or hurt her, why would you ruin what you've got !

  • I wouldn't really spill everything out on the first date but if you go on date two three or four with the same girl it's only fair for her to get to know who you were and who you are now. Honesty and communication are always key in any relationship if you can't then it will just cause problems for the both of you later on so yes be honest be open if she judges you for your past it's her loss for losing a great guy you have become to be... Good luck and take care...


What Guys Said 0

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