in the past I dropped college, sleep late, party all the time, get fired from jobs and accomplish nothing. also id hook up a lot, sometimes with sluts who I'd be embarrassed to admit I had sex with. also I had trouble with the law etc.
well I changed all that now. its been a year and I'm happy that I have my life straightened out but I don't know if I should tell girls about my past. on a positive note they may see that I was once a "bad boy" with confidence and because I made mistakes I have experience...but then again they may be really bothered by my past and cause trouble.
i think I will share my past because its best to be honest but at what point should i? right at the start or later on?
Most Helpful Girl
I have a past, too. You're not alone. There is a correct formula, here.
You don't need to let her know everything on a first date. Really, you don't need to let her know anything about your past at all. You need to let her get to know you now. Your past is a part of you, but it's not your future.
If you start seeing a nice young woman, and you really like her, there might be times when the past comes up, or you have the opportunity to bring it up. Tread carefully, but don't be afraid. If she is having a really rough time in school say, "You know what, baby? You are smart and wonderful, and I know you can do this. Dropping out is not your style. I did that. It wasn't worth it. This is really tough, but you can do it. There's no reason for you to give up; it's not going to make your life any easier. You've got this!" Then help her study.
If she asks you questions, which she might because she likes you, be honest and straightforward. That being said, it's not her business really who you have slept with, etc. Tell her the answer to her question, and move on.
Now, from the looks of it, you're like me, and not exactly proud of your past. This is important to relate, if that is true. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Your past is part of the respectable young man you are today. It's how you got to where you are. Remember, though, it was a learning experience and nothing more. You have changed. The guy who did those things is gone, and only the new you is here now. If she asks questions, don't lie, but let her know that you aren't proud of things. Tell her you are not proud of how much you drank, or that you were a ladies man, or that you committed crimes. Let her know that you've learned and grown, and that you want to be an even better guy than you are now for her.1