Looking for some relationship advice. This is a really complicated situation.

This is a very complicated situation. My relationship started about 7 months ago I met my neighbor "former girlfriend" through the UPS man. He left a box of hers with me and I dropped it off for her when she got home. When she answered the door I was in shock. I personally believe in true love at first site. I thought she was the most beautiful girl to ever walk this earth. We talked for a few minutes and had basic introductions. The next day I could not stop thinking about her I was asking myself "what the hell man?" Anyways, that night I asked her out. We went to dinner blah blah blah. About a month went by of us seeing each other and one night I'm not going to get into details we both got a little drunk and she tried to have sex with me. I honestly really cared about her and I knew she would have regretted it. I told her no and that is where she said she developed respect for me. We started actually dating about the week after that. I found out that she was clinically depressed which was my first red flag. But I didn't think that she was crazy or anything because she had medications. She told me she has had a past bad history of alcohol which in college she had 2 DUI's and I was in kind of shock because I really didn't expect it. Up to this point she still didn't have her license. I did the nice guy thing which was give her rides where ever she needed to go such as work, her parents house, appointments etc... in the next few months things were perfect she told me she loved me, she never has spent this much time with anyone, how she thinks that we should think about getting engaged in about 4-5 months which would have been a year of us dating. I was cool with it because honestly, who puts a time line on love? If it happens it happens. This is where things get really shaky. One day we went out to eat and she had a few beers and we were just planning on hanging out and watching a movie. I had a little alcohol in my apartment so she kept drinking. I didn't mind because we weren't going anywhere and she wasn't going to do anything stupid. So I thought. She got extremely depressed, called her parents crying about random stuff. I got a call from her mom where the first thing she asked me was "has she been drinking?" I of course told her the truth and she told me she has a lot of psychological issues when she drinks. So immediately I went to her apartment and calmed her down and so on and so forth. She got off the phone with her dad and she just freaked out on me. We got into a fight and she broke up with me about 5 times that night. A couple hours went by and I got to the point where I was like enough. I tried kicking her out and saying that "you have to work tomorrow you need sleep" she left and I was asking myself could I really be with her? About 10 minutes later I heard my door open and I went to go see who it was and she was laying on my couch with ALL her anti anxiety pills gone! I freaked out and nearly called 911. I have some medical training


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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you still want to work it out with her, I suggest you be firm with her and tell her that she has a drinking problem, and she needs to stop. Not just one drink. NO alcohol, under any circumstances.

    If you don't think you can be with her right now, break it off and tell her she needs to work on resolving the issues with her drinking. And probably some therapy with her depression. Depression is a delicate issue, and it can be really hard to control what you say and do in a depressive state. It's hard to break the cycle of falling into those depressive states, but if she can get some therapy (if she hasn't already) she might be able to identify exactly the things that trigger these emotions in her. After some time, and she sorts herself out, then you can look at a relationship again.

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 2

  • thats a really unhealthy situation for you to be in. it is going to be way too much stress on you overtime where you may end up getting into the same situation that she is in (maybe not to that magnitude though). there's no excuse for you not to be there for her as a friend though. it sounds like she needs as much time around friends as possible more than anything

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  • she's obvoisly got problems my friend, but leaving her would make them worse, I say you stay by her side and help her through it, depression isn't forever, if you fell inlove with this girl, imganine what she would be like when fine.

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