I would like to know why you do not want to get married. Been with my boyfriend for 7 years and will be with him whether or not we marry, but he's always been anti.. How come?
Guys who don't want to get married, answer this.
What Guys Said 1
There are only two negative situations that marriage could potentially create, and are unique to marriage.
1. Financial Loss
Men work their whole lives to (1) accumulate assets/wealth, and (2) to increase their earning/income rate. When a woman is with a man, as being effectively a part of him, she gets to enjoy the benefits and privileges of being with that man; as does he by virtue of being with her. When the two are no longer together, both of them no longer get to enjoy the benefits and privileges of being together.
The man doesn't walk out of marriage with "half cleaning and cooking services, half comfort and emotional support, one boob, one butt cheek, one leg, and half a vagina." The argument is simple, why should the woman walk away with "half of the assets and income?"
Men slave over earning both of those things, and they do not "become part of" the woman when she's with a man. They remain the man's exclusively, and she simply "gets to enjoy them" as long as they're together.
2. Relationship Depreciation
Building where we left off, marriage kills love. In fact, marriage has nothing to do with love. The only thing marriage accomplishes is creating a "legal and financial union." You don't need to be married to feel love or more love for someone. You don't need to be married to have sex or better sex with someone. You don't need to be married to spend your whole life with someone. And the ancient tort of "bastardy" has been abolished, so you no longer need to be married to be immune from the "criminal charge" of "bastardy." So why get married? Good question.
Here's a reason guys don't want to get married. When you're in a relationship with someone, you're both there because you want to be there. If things get rough, maybe you're tempted to leave, but if either of you do, then maybe what your actions are really saying is that the costs of being together far outweighed the benefits. If you both later discover that this wasn't the case, NOTHING is PREVENTING you from getting back together. You're adults. You don't need lawyers to leave or get back together. Your "choice" to "voluntarily" be together, by your own "free will" is what makes a relationship great.
Why is it great? Because you actually care about your partner's happiness and satisfaction in the relationship! If your partner isn't happy, he or she might leave you! And if the benefits of being with him or her outweigh the costs, then you have incentive to make them happy and satisfied. You have incentive to not create negatives (like cheating, or nagging, or letting yourself go, or having no sex life), and motivate them to leave.
The moment you get married, the fear of the other person leaving is almost gone; like a prison door ball-and-chaining the two of your together. It's great for lazy spouses or partners who were keeping up an act until they get married; but men don't want that (women don't want that!) so that's why men don't want marriage.1
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