I've also seen a lot of women ask why men don't like smart women and go for the stupid, ditzy girls instead. I think it's a different manifestation of the same effect. The "nice guy" vs. "jerk" dichotomy is purely an illusion, as is "smart intelligent girls" vs "stupid bimbos".
Because a heterosexual isn't attracted to those they're competing with they often don't see what qualities their fellow guys/girls posses that truly make them attractive and yet they're looking for the common denominator that their more successful peers have in common in order to try and make sense of why they're not having any success while others are.
Too often they seize on a negative quality to explain that phenomenon (Ex: "Girls like jerks/cars/money", "Guys like bimbos/fake boobs/anorexic girls"). Not only does it provide an explanation to a bewildering predicament, it's also a self-serving narrative people use to make themselves feel good by absolving themselves of their failures in the dating world ("It's not my fault I can't get a girl/guy. They don't appreciate good people").
It's a mindset that creates anger and bitterness, not to mention makes one even less attractive. It's also remarkably addictive and many people would rather cling with all their might to their precious narrative rather than see the forest for the trees.
Girls aren't stupid. They don't enjoy being treated like crap. The fact that so many of them end up with these asshole guys is purely incidental. These guys are attractive for other reasons and their selfish behavior is something their poor woman has to put up with. Attraction isn't a choice for women or men. If you're obviously desirable people will put up with a lot of crap just to get a piece of you.
Jerk guys aren't attractive because they're jerks, they're attractive because they make no bones about it. They're confident and self assured. They're unafraid to be themselves. They may be douchebags but they're quite open about it. Women love a man who's secure in himself.
The nice guys, on the other hand, always seem to have something to hide. They think that if women see the real "them" they'll bolt. Their problems they have with women accepting and liking them are just a symptom of the problems they have accepting and liking themselves. So they supplicate. They shower women with gifts, affection and attention in attempt to get them to overlook their supposed flaws.
I've found through using this site that the more I unabashedly open and honest I am, the more the girls respect, trust and love me. I've written about many of my flaws on here, some of them I've been ashamed of held secret all of my life, stuff I feel embarrassed about and things that I like that are uncool but I'm authentic about it and I don't cover it up. I'm beginning to embrace who I really am and that makes me a better man.
I tried David D's cocky comedy; Robby's ignore and score.. etc.. Lots of these "dating gurus" (from the methods I've tried), have suggested that in order to display value - one has to "naturally" express that they could care less if the other person likes them or not.
That's not to be confused with being an asshole or otherwise; though I have seen guys that get away with some strong "smartass" material - which could be referenced as rude.
I've never seen any REAL man (dating a real girl) get away with slapping her around, calling her names every weekend, drinking rather than going to her birthday, etc... Those are boundaries that will never work with dating women; if you want to get a REAL keeper (albeit man or woman) then you must know and be able to validate respect in your own relationships with others.
Some other "footnotes":
- Cocky comedy (David D's technique) does not work if the speaker does not take risks or is otherwise "feeble".. Cocky comedy ONLY works when it pushes at a sensitive topic, in a bluntly assertive way, but with PROFOUND humor. If it's only "slightly humorous" then chances are that your target will take more offense than they will take attraction.
- Ignoring to gain attraction isn't completely effective for strangers; though when combined with dreamtime's "entourage game" it'll work perfectly and effectively. The reason it's counter-productive is because you can't ignore someone who doesn't know you - then the attraction will never come to existance. There will always be an initial energy required.
- Average abilities are under-rated; most men think they have to be cocky or spit "Game" to attract women.. All lies; women are actually more disgusted with being "approached" than they are with needy guys. It is much more beneficial to them to hear from a suitor that the suitor has an interest - but then wants to know the girl - not just talk about his interest and fight solely for that.
There's tons more to deliberate but I too am learning.. Just my own opinions, I can't say whether they're right or not.
Sometimes I'll act a bit more cocky than usual when I'm flirting with a girl, and it works sometimes, other times it doesn't. I don't really know if I come off as a jerk/asshole when I'm doing that, but I hope I don't. I've been told it can be really charming, so I don't think it does.
I don't know...I'm a nice guy for the most part, so being a jerk/asshole would be an act for me and I'm a bad actor. Not to mention, what's the point of putting on an act for a girl if you plan to see her more than once. Sooner or later she's going to see you for what you are, and if she doesn't like it you just wasted all that time.
Most females could read the "fakeness", because you can not change your personality overnight.
What Girls Said 1
I know I'm a girl. But I have to say that I've never been in a relationship with a jerk. However, if I look back on all the guys I f***ed outside a relationship, most of them were jerks.A lot of girls fall for that. I speak for myself now but I "make love" to my boyfriends and "f***" outside a relationship. And to "f***" I don't want an emotional bond. I also get a rush out of a jerk's dominance.
ps: to be honest, the best sex was almost always with a jerk...