I hear a lot of guys say that girls don't like nice guys, they like jerks/assholes.
Have any of you "nice guys" decided to try acting like a jerk to see if it improved your luck with the ladies? If so, what did you do differently? Did it work?
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I've also seen a lot of women ask why men don't like smart women and go for the stupid, ditzy girls instead. I think it's a different manifestation of the same effect. The "nice guy" vs. "jerk" dichotomy is purely an illusion, as is "smart intelligent girls" vs "stupid bimbos".
Because a heterosexual isn't attracted to those they're competing with they often don't see what qualities their fellow guys/girls posses that truly make them attractive and yet they're looking for the common denominator that their more successful peers have in common in order to try and make sense of why they're not having any success while others are.
Too often they seize on a negative quality to explain that phenomenon (Ex: "Girls like jerks/cars/money", "Guys like bimbos/fake boobs/anorexic girls"). Not only does it provide an explanation to a bewildering predicament, it's also a self-serving narrative people use to make themselves feel good by absolving themselves of their failures in the dating world ("It's not my fault I can't get a girl/guy. They don't appreciate good people").
It's a mindset that creates anger and bitterness, not to mention makes one even less attractive. It's also remarkably addictive and many people would rather cling with all their might to their precious narrative rather than see the forest for the trees.
Girls aren't stupid. They don't enjoy being treated like crap. The fact that so many of them end up with these asshole guys is purely incidental. These guys are attractive for other reasons and their selfish behavior is something their poor woman has to put up with. Attraction isn't a choice for women or men. If you're obviously desirable people will put up with a lot of crap just to get a piece of you.
Jerk guys aren't attractive because they're jerks, they're attractive because they make no bones about it. They're confident and self assured. They're unafraid to be themselves. They may be douchebags but they're quite open about it. Women love a man who's secure in himself.
The nice guys, on the other hand, always seem to have something to hide. They think that if women see the real "them" they'll bolt. Their problems they have with women accepting and liking them are just a symptom of the problems they have accepting and liking themselves. So they supplicate. They shower women with gifts, affection and attention in attempt to get them to overlook their supposed flaws.
I've found through using this site that the more I unabashedly open and honest I am, the more the girls respect, trust and love me. I've written about many of my flaws on here, some of them I've been ashamed of held secret all of my life, stuff I feel embarrassed about and things that I like that are uncool but I'm authentic about it and I don't cover it up. I'm beginning to embrace who I really am and that makes me a better man.1