Am I paranoid? Telling guys I'm only looking for friendship?

Every guy that I meet online is looking for a girlfriend. and whenever we meet it's always an instant relationship. like by agreeing to hang out with sometime I'm somehow agreeing to be their girlfriend. This is why I never let the guy pay for me, but some guys WILL NOT let me pay for myself no matter what I do. So I've stumbled upon this mentality where I assume that every guy that I meet is interested in dating me. Is this wrong?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The problem is that many girls say the same thing----oh, I'm only looking for a friendship; however, I have hooked up with a lot of these girls so whenever I hear that line from a girl, I knew that's not what she meant. Maybe what's going on is that by agreeing to hang out with these guys, they are thinking, 'ah, she does like me, maybe I can move in and conquer.' :)

    Now, think of the mixed message that is being sent. Guy says he is looking for a gf; he asks you out to hang out; you agree. You already know what the guys intentions are, but yet you still agree to meet him. So guy is thinking, 'if she wasn't interested, she wouldn't agree to hang out, so maybe there is a chance.' See how things can get out of control right from the start?

    Possibly your best bet is not to hang out with the guys that are looking for relationships cause there is a conflict of interest being created right from the start, if you see what I mean. :)

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What Guys Said 1

  • Honestly the online thing is complicated little bit , its depend on what you tell these guys because most of them they want to date girls for relationship , a guy should pay at least for the first date with a girl , especialy if he ask her to go out , nothing wrong with that , a guy like me if he meet a girl online I'll try to get to know her and see if she's intersted in girlfriend/boyfriend , if not I'll try to be a friend because sometimes people they don't get along as a girlfriend/boyfriend or they just want friendship , nothing wrong with it , like you said most of guys not all of them ,

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What Girls Said 1

  • It's not wrong. It's just a defense mechanism. Honestly, if you say right off the bat (in a conversation) that you are absolutely not interested in a relationship and that if you do hang out you want to be firm about letting them know that you don't want to be anything more than friends. If he hints at it than I would not aggree to meet up with them. Please be careful in meeting guys online as it can be very dangerous. Honestly, I don't like to meet anyone online. I use the internet strictly for keeping in contact with friends I have known before the internet. It's just something I choose to do.

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