I have been with a guy for a year and a half, to make a long story short when he met me I was in a relationship and confused about it, we exchanged numbers and he pursued me until I agreed to meet him out, what followed was me thinking he was the greatest thing in the world and left my boyfriend for him, we started being together all the time and I saw that he fit perfectly to a narcissist/family, friends, me everyone was to blame for things not him. We would go to a bar and guys would look at me, he always accused me of craving attention but the truth is he would blame me for guys looking at me. 6mths in I see that his phone was locked with pass code and basically I just never really rusted him
about 4 mths ago he started acting different and not texting me as much,
i knew something was going on a I suspected it was a married co worker, after mths of stress I saw inappropriate pics of her on his computer. I would stop talking to him for a couple days and he will text me and I am just hurting so bad. this womens husband contacted me and I now know he saw the pics to, and they are headed for divorce because she is not showing any signs of remorse.
basically I know what is going on because I was that girl when I first met him, in a relationship. last night I had a melt down and called him telling him I loved him ad trying to make things better in that time he just blamed me for everything and absolutely did not care, also said I am making him hate me because I won't stop talking about her who he "has nothing to do with" (still lying)
I just need to know how I can totally forget about him and get over the betrayal I gave my all to him and I think for the first time I was in love, please help me I know I can find someone else but it is just impossible for me to think about anyone else when all I can do is think about what we had.
Most Helpful Girl
I think you need to sit down with yourself, and take a hard look at your life. If you are upset with a break up and heartbrokened, it means your not in a good place in your life.
You need to embrace the one person that is most important in your life- you. Be happy, be happy that you no longer need a hurtful and cheating bastard in your life. Be happy that you are not that man who just realized his wife cheated on him and now has to go through the process of divorcing. Be happy that you can walk away and learn from this experience and become a more loving and happier person.
This man has not only cheated and hurt you, but he has had the nerve to accuse you of wanting attention from other men and even blocked his phone and continued to pursue his coworker.
Clearly, he lacks self esteem. He finds his natural highs in approaching taken women who are unhappy in their relationships and pursues them until they are his, and can't stand the sight of seeing you being beautiful while he remains unhappy with himself. He has shown early signs or being a jerk by pursuing you when you had a boyfriend. Clearly he had no respect for your relationship with your ex and once he had you, he no longer saw that you gave him the same high as you were when he was pursuing you as a taken woman.
Take this as a lesson and gift. By this relationship ending, you can now pursue your life and begin to pick up the pieces that have been broken and shattered by his actions. Move on with your life, with a huge grin on your face and be happy that you no longer have to be with someone who doesn't respect and love you like you should, and who clearly doesn't have the same level and self esteem as you do.
You are beautiful and young and full of life! Do things that make you happy- surround yourself with people who love you and truly bring happiness to your life. Pursue things that you would not otherwise pursue. Perhaps join a new club or play a sport you once did through community sign ups. Maybe join a gym. It is the new year of 2011- why not bring out the new you?!
Give yourself a mini makeover- bring a guy and tell him to give you an absolute makeover- maybe a completely new style, short hair, and killer heels. Embrace being single, beautiful, and alive! Bring out that natural glow and work on your killer abs!
You need to move on beautiful and enjoy life for what it has given you. This is a new opportunity to unshield the new beautiful you and to bring that beautiful natural glow to your face. I know it hurts, and it will hurt, but time will heal all. Everything happens for a reason, right? :]
"love him for what he has given you, forgive him for what he has not"1