Am I being unrealistic? I feel like I belong in the 1950's

I am a 20 year old college student. I'm social, I have lots of friends, and I enjoy going out and having fun (parties, dancing, the usual) but I honestly don't feel comfortable around any girls my age.

I have had girlfriends in the past, high school mostly, and I've never really had a hard time getting a date. But ever since college, I've honestly thought that most of the girls I've met have been really fake, and despite how physically attractive they may be, I'm just not interested.

To be honest I find the majority of them fake and shallow. I find most of today's style and fashion over the top, and unappealing. To me tattoos and most piercings are a deal breaker, and I've been meet with a lot of criticism for this attitude.

In addition to this I think that people today are far too sexual. I am by no means a virgin, but I could never imagine being with any of the girls I meet. It seems like all of them have had several one night stands, cheated on bf's in the past, or have been with more guys than I have birthdays. I don't mean to judge, but those just honestly aren't the kind of girls for me. I feel like everyone in my generation doesn't take these type of things as seriously as I do. I'm not religious, and I honestly don't like people that are very religious, I'd just like to know if there's anyone out there that feels similar to myself.

I feel like I'm setting myself up for a lonely life with these values, but I'd honestly rather be alone than change myself for someone else's approval. Am I being unrealistic, or maybe I'm delusional? I don't really know. How am I supposed to meet someone my own age? I feel like I'm the only one my age that feel this way. What should I do?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Ugh, I totally agree :/

    Even though there are dozens of great girls at my university, I can't agree more that a ton of girls at ANY university are just so fake. Just as a lot of the guys are. People who are purely self interested, self absorbed, and self centered. One night stands are just ways to pass the time until they mature or find someone...

    Ugh, guys are just... They'll love themselves more than they could ever love anyone. I could strike a match at all my wasted time on guys at my university :P They're so self loathing, they honestly think they're the hottest things in DC. I managed to find someone worthwhile back in my home state; I'll see how that goes.

    I get a lot of heat for the way I dress; I'm always wearing dresses, always. Some of the hardcore feminists on my campus think I'm making some sort of sexist statement lol.

    I think if you look a little harder, learn to sift through the fake ones, you'll find the actual girls! Maybe at other universities, too.

    • thanks. any suggestions where to even begin to look? lol

    • Seeing as to how I don't know anything about your university... sounds like the opposite of wherever you're looking now?

      I don't think there's any other way than really getting to know people of all groups. Girls who're in sociology are normally really sweet, as are most girls in legal studies, but that could just be my school.

    • i go to a somewhat small school in dayton ohio. I mostly meet girls at partys and social events. I've really never had that great of luck meeting girls in my classes (im a business major so there's not really a lot of girls in my classes). most of them are pretty shy from what I've seen, which makes it kind of hard lol


Have an opinion?


Send It!

What Girls Said 6

  • I'm so glad I'm not the only one who's thought that one b4. I have never seen anyone, post a more sensible and respectable question than you have. lol I've felt I was born at the wrong time too lol. Just like that last person who commented, also a hard core feminist. I love skirts, I love dresses. And I definitely feel the heat from people lol. I just like feminine clothing ^_^. Truly style is definitely taking a toll on me, because I can't find anything I like. Clothes are getting way out of hand for me. The 'throw on' or 'half done-up' look is definitely not for me. Some clothes aren't even identifiable! lol. And I also understand the fake and shallow part as well. I only think people tend be that way is because they are worried about being accepted, which truly is saddening. Both men and women are looking for acceptance today in the worst ways. So don't it's a delusion, or unrealistic. It's really happening, and as you can see, you're not the only who thinks so.

    Also I like the 50's best lol.

  • no, I totaly agree with you.

    However, I'm no housewife but I don't believe in : casual sex, meaningless relationships, cheating, useless dating, tattoos, peircings, false haircolor, trash fashion, excessive drinking and drugs and partying, false attitudes, lack of self awareness and excessive religious gibberish or even religon for that matter. I always have controll over everyhing I do, and keep things in perspective. I like to have a good time, but maintain meaning.

    Most of these factors are simply markers of intelligence and social class.

  • keep searching, I'm sure there is that one in a million girl for you

  • you should follow your own advise, don't change for any thing! there will be a girl out there that you will find and come on your only twenty!

  • u have to stop going out to these parties... the types of girls you are looking 4 aren't there...

    im just like u. (although it may not seem like it from the spelling lol). I think people spend too much time getting to know each other on a physical level rather than a "spiritual/personal" level. That's why I try to dress modern but modest (w/o everything hanging out) and am NOT throwing myself on numerous guys... Try to meet girls in class or in a club (like my college has a medical ethics society and that's where all the good girls go)

    hoped I helped :)

  • i think you're meeting the wrong girls. what you're talking about is the stereotypical college girl that is portrayed in movies, but real life is very different.

    • stereotype or not, it really seems to be just how things are nowdays.

What Guys Said 1

  • I feel the same way. Except for the part about not wanting to be with a woman that has tattoos and piercings. And the part about enjoying parties and dancing. And the part about the fashion of women being over the top.