What is the big deal about ear stretching?

I have 3/4" plugs and I get one of two responses. Either can I put my finger in your ear... Or ewww you are gross. WHY? It's self-expression, it's not like I worship Satan. Actually I'm a real nice dude. They act like I'm less of a person. I don't get it.

Updates:
Im not upset tht people dnt like it. Idc if they do or not. I just dnt get why they act like its their job to tell me this crap. And if you can't come up with a more intelligebt aegument than its just gross. Dnt answer

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I can relate. I get questions about my ears a lot when my hair is out of the way. It's not the questions I mind. I'm more than happy to appeal to someone's curiosity. But it's the condescending attitude that comes with most questions that bother me. What's even worse is that this is considered acceptable behavior by most people. I don't sneer at people when I ask them a question about their appearance, even if it's related to something I don't find particularly attractive. That's just rude, and shows bad manners. It's not any LESS rude just because the aspect of my appearance that gets comments is something not considered typically attractive by the -majority- of people.

    But, I don't make my style choices based on whether the majority of people are going to approve of it or not. That's no way to live. I already know that most of my aesthetic preferences aren't popular with most people. I just refuse to sacrifice part of what makes me ME, to appeal to more people. To me, that would be a form of dishonesty and cowardice.

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What Girls Said 23

  • You can have the long explanation going into detailed social norms and the reaction of man within society when faced with a exception to the norms, psychology, and a bunch of yammer OR I can tell you this.

    It's aesthetics and the contemplation of self-mutilation.

    Putting giant holes in your ears is visually abnormal, proportionally distorted, and the idea of stretching your skin to extreme proportions appeals to most people like poking themselves with a needle and giving it a good wiggle.

    None of this means gauging your ears is wrong, unacceptable, or actually a form of self-harm, but that IS the impression it gives. Chalk it up to ignorance, squeamishness, or a lack of social tolerance, but either way you cut it, the problem isn't going away.

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  • well in my opinion, the smaller ones on guys are hot, but I wouldn't go any bigger then like 7mm. I do think its gross with people walking around and being able to put soda cans through their earlobes. imo

    and yeah its self expression, but really, if you never seen anyone with plugs before, would you really even think to go stretch your earlobe out so there's a big whole in it? just like when we were littler, if we got holes in our jeans, they were no longer good, but now everyone purposly buys jeans that are shreaded open. and yeah I can say that I love super shreaded jeans, but if people never started wearing them, I probably wouldn't be right now either, just like you probably wouldn't have plugs if other people didn't start doing that either.

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    • That's true. I think that people stretch their ears to fit in with a certain culture,but they are also disfiguring themselves ,so I don't get it. lol

  • Personal preference, fear of something different... take your pick. A lot of people like predictable, a gauge is a sign that you're not, or maybe you fit into their tidily labeled trouble box where people with tattoos, piercings and dreads go too. Oftentimes, people fear or ostracize those they don't understand, why do you think there were witch hunts and DaVinci was placed under house arrest?

    I have friends who gauge. Personally, I'm not super into gauges and think ones that are about a cm or less look best, but it's your body and as long as you take care of it I don't mind.

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  • My opinion is do what you want.I don't think it's disgusting,however,i make it a point for people to acknowledge what they are doing to their bodies now,may affect them later. I'm just saying. You're under 18 so it's fine,but what's going to happen when you have to go out into the REAL world to get a high paying job?Hypothetically speaking,what if it's an office job?Someone might have a problem with it. I'm just saying think about it.

    For the longest I wanted to peirce up my face and completely tatoo up both of my legs. Thank god my mum stopped me.I think I would have been regretful of it today. I'm a big fan of self expression though. Be smart but be YOU. :)

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    • If I keep my work up and do what I have been I won't need a regular office job anyhow. But I see your point. I have the ears which are bad enough but my left arm has tats too and I haven't gotten jobs because of it

    • Yes you are question asker , people have been doing it for cultural trends since 3,000 because ,so don't act like your original.

    • Sorry about that, I didn't mean to put because.

  • i love gages as long as they arnt too big. I was thinking about gaging my ears.

    and I agree on everyone stereotypying about people with gages, tats, and peircings. like how the F&CK does that make them any less of person? when really, they are the ones who had the balls to do what they wanted, and go throught the pain.

    id rather date someone who is true to theirselves, and doesn't worry about what other people think about them.

    half the time, the judgmental people are just jelous because they 1. can't pull that sh*t off 2. they are super preppy and that's totally not their style

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    • You are dumb girl who just wants to fit in .If you want to fit in ,why don't you do something that isn't so ugly and disfiguring?

      You also shouldn't use a comma before and. lol

    • You spelled jealous wrong sweetie.

    • wow..negative nancy. I really don't care if I spelled something wrong or used improper grammar. And no, I am not a dumb girl, I have a 4.0 and I am accepted into the Physical Therapist program. And I don't have to "fit in" because I am friends with everybody and have never been in a "click" as people say. I have friends who are goth, very preppy, jock..you name it. I don't throw ridiculous insults out at people because I have nothing else better to do with my life; you.

  • They leave scars, they risk easy infection, permanently alter your ear, and stretch your skin. Think about it, do you find stretch marks attractive? If the answer is no then why would you find gauges attractive? Any type of alteration you do to your body risks people judging you on it, you probably should have thought about that before hand.

    I'm not saying I'm for or against it, but people need to put up with the risks they take when altering their bodies.

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    • Actually they do heal up. It can take a while but they do. Of course past a point you will still see the marks

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    • Everyone says tht but I doubt realize its intrue. Have you stretches bfore. I've been up to 5/8 bfore and gone back down to a zero and eventially 2g. Its not how much but how quickly you stretch tht determinrs the point of no return

    • It doesn't matter what "everyone says," what matters is the simple facts of it. The simple facts of it is when you stretch your skin to points that isn't natural, it has trouble healing. Bodies don't do well with what is not natural.

  • Most people who don't like it can't understand why people go through that. Personally, I'm into tattoos, piercings, and body modifications. Everyone makes choices about their appearance, and it's all self-expression. Some people are too judgmental to accept other types of people.

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  • f*** what people think. expressing yourself is hot.

    but people just freak over new things. when I first saw some one with big ear gauges, I was like "EW WHAT THE HELL!"

    NEVER take it personally.

    and if they act like you any less of a person, then they have serious mental issues.it's not like you point fingers at the girl with the ugg boots!

    everyone has different opinions. some people find it a big deal if girls stuff their bras. others think it's a big deal to have gauges. just ignore them and do your thing :)

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  • You sure are getting pretty messed up reactions. :/

    I think they're perfectly fine (if they're properly maintained and don't have a bad infection as I've seen a couple of times). I know plenty of people, guys and girls, with them, and I don't think they're a "big deal." I personally think they're kinda cool.

    Freedom of expression is freedom to do what you want to make yourself stand out, it's true. But I think some of the people giving you those reactions take freedom of expression too far. :P

    And I know what you mean about Satan. I listen to heavy metal, and my mom constantly tries to get me to go to church to "confess my sins".

    Don't let it get to you, dude. :)

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  • If piercings, tattoos and other body modifications are acknowledged as self expression and individualisation- therein rebelling against societal norms and conforming, why do those same individuals whine about the intolerance they face as a result? People will forever fear difference and acknowledge it as unacceptable. I understand my piercings and tattoos create self inflicted isolation from a number of groups. In any case, give it a few years and it will be the new half sleeve.

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  • It's not a big deal at all.

    Who cares...

    Some people find it attractive, others don't.

    I don't, but I bet there's something about me someone else would find unattractive too.

    We should all differ, otherwise the world would be a very boring place.

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  • people don't like anything that's different. I think it looks cool on the right person. Who gives a sh*t what those people say.

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  • its terrible that people judge because of what someone does to their body, its really not fair AT ALL. having a hole or two in your face isn't going to change who you are as a person. just be proud of your body art :) and the people that judge you, who cares. theyre the ones that don't deserve your attention.

    stay positive :D

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  • They look silly imo.

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  • I'm not sure how big 3/4 is but, I think that people see it that way is because, if you don't keep them clean they start to smell. I personally don't see a problem with them...also people that may be misinformed or not informed enough may think they aren't reversable...although there is a procedure to reverse them...Its totally self expression don't be bothered by what others say/think just be you!(:

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    • Its 3 quarters of an inch. I see your point. But people do hate em jus because theyr a hole in your ear. Its annoying

  • Gauges, plugs and stuff kind of look painful - and honestly - kind of gross to me. What really gets me is that people think it's alright to tell you it's gross. It's not on their body! Other people butt into people's lives and have no idea how rude they're being. If you like it, that's all that really matters anyway.

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  • 3/4 gauges are perfectly fine. I saw a guy on the train with gaugesand he looked SO good with them. it's like if a guy decided to get his ear pierced and wear a stud or whatever, it's not a big deal. I think it looks kinda weird when they go over 1" though

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  • Ewwww I would never date a guy who had gauges. Its so nasty like, why the f*** would you do that to yourself. It makes your ears red, and purplish and you might be playing sports or whatever and something could get hooked in the loop and rip your ear off.

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    • Thtd not really a good reason to not date someone. Its not how they look but who they are. I wish people would learn this.

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    • or I shuld say, the way you choose to represent yourself

    • True but we both no tht isn't the reason you stated. the whole ewwww thing lets me in on tht. And even still they don't make you a bad person

  • I like it on some people but I don't think it suites girls

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  • Its more of a social taboo. that's why people react in such a way. I'm cool with them as long as they aren't ridiculously large.

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  • I don't like ear stretching or gauges. Just looks really lame to me. Like you're an African trial member wannabe.

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  • it's weird looking

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What Guys Said 9

  • The way I look at it is that if you change something about the way you look, in a way that far deviates from social norms, then you have to expect to get bad reactions from people. When you decided to stretch your ears, did you honestly believe that no one was ever going to make a big deal about it? I'm not saying that these people are right for judging you, but this is real life, not a fantasyland where everyone can magically see the amazing things about everyone no matter what they look like on the outside. People are rude. People are assholes. People are judgmental. If you can't understand that then you shouldn't have stretched your ears to begin with.

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    • I do understand tht. I cnt understand why people feel is their job to do so

  • self expression? wtf are you expressing...if nobody has ever guaged their ears would you still have the idea? "im going to put huge stinky holes in my ears because that's how I express myself"...its retarded, don't act like your expressing yourself, its just an excuse to act abnormal and get attention even if its negative...grow up

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    • Thnx for the input bud

    • Btw tht is the same with everything. If no one had first thought of it, it wouldn't have been done by anyone else. So your argument is fairley useless.

    • If his argument's useless don't thank him.

  • I don't get it, your all into "self-expression" but at the same time your upset that society in general does not like the way you express yourself...why do you step out of the social norm if your not willing to hear the scrutiny that is going to come with it? I myself do not like any type of "self-mutilation" as it not the way God intended our bodies to be. A piercing or two is fine, as that is not really mutilation of any kind, but when you start stretching skin and distorting your look, that is crossing the line I think.

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  • Because people in our age group and generally stupid, and they judge people by their appearance, style, and social status. Don't expect to receive any kind of intelligent feedback from peers.

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    • wow you must be a dooosh bag democrat...f***in hippie...look at you dude your on the same band wagon don't preach sh*t when you don't know what the f**k you are talking about.

      And take that f***in hat off

    • Hahahaha. Aw snookums did I make you cry? Please grow a pair :)

    • Hey,hey guy..lets play nice.:)

  • because its not the norm, they are not used to them, they have nothig better to do. Who cares maaain.

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  • Self expression is the worship of Satan.

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  • I just think it looks disgusting and tacky.

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  • it's barely "self expression", there are lots of kids like you and you're just following a trend. people think it's abnormal/gross because it is. you look for attention by self mutilating your ears and you think it's cool lol. if people think you're less of a person it's probably because they think you're a tool for following a lame trend.

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    • Im noy following a trend tho. I had em done bfore it wqs the scene kid trend.

    • Actually, if you're under 18, you haven't been doing it since before it was a 'scene kid trend'. I'm originally from Alaska and it's been popular up there for the last 7 years. Alaska is not a trend hot spot. That means 'scene kids' have been doing it for awhile now, and it's been a BIG trend for at least the last 5 years.

    • The best answer right here.

  • it's gross.

    You could implant a penis on your forehead. what would be the big deal? its YOUR forehead and you do what you want with it. It might not be gross for you, but don't judge people that think it is gross.

    If the majority of people thinks its gross, I recommend you to think a little about it...

    You're affected, or else you wouldn't ask.

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