I'm problematic. I don't look attractive anymore

I'm so problematic. I'm trying not to think about it but I can't really help it. my problems are my boyfriend and I broke up and I can't really accept it because I know and he told me I didn't really do anything bad. he was the one who has the problem. my 2nd problem is that I'm really getting tired of school. my course is dentistry. its so hard. I'm already delayed for 1 year. :'( I'm really doing my best but its really hard in my laboratory subjects because the professors are really perfectionists. 3rd is I'm tired of living. everyday same sh*t. boring. I wanna die. 4th is because of my depression from my breakup I feel I'm really ugly, seriously. my friends/people from school told me I became thinner now that I look like an addict. that I didn't look that good like before. that I look wasted. that I really look depressed. I'm not being cocky but I'm good looking. many people have said that its just that because of my problems I'm becoming less attractive so yeah I was shocked when the people at school/my friends told me that I look different now. :'(

I'm trying not to think about it or if I think about it I'm trying to think of a solution but nothing comes in my mind. I know I'm the one who has to solve my problems but really I cant. I'm really giving up. I've been praying and asking for god's guidance. but I don't know if he is listening to me :'(

I've been talking to my friends I'll be fine then after that when I'm alone I feel sad and depressed again. I don't really want to go to a counselor as much as possible

thanks for all the kind comments. for making me believe that there is still hope. thanks really. :') thanks for making time to read my post and for putting effort to reply and really give me good advice. all of you should be selected as best answer.lol


Most Helpful Guy

  • We all go through hard times in life. I am sorry to hear how many problems you have right now. :-(

    But there are some things I'd like you to remember in these hard times though-

    Problem #1- For everything that happens there is a reason. There is a reason why your ex-bf is an ex-bf... He is simply not meant to be in your future. I know that hurts, alot. Remember there are plenty of good guys out there that are looking for nice, cute girls all the time. One of them is meant to be your future. :-)

    Problem #2- The best things in life are never easy. My dad gave me a bit of advice when it comes to this kind of thing- if you do your best, you have nothing to be ashamed about. The test of a person isn't really how well they succeed in life, but if after failure they have gotten back up and brushed themselves off as many times as it takes to succeed.

    Problem #3- Sometimes problems seem so big, and the path seems so dark and lonely, that it's easy to feel this way. That's why it is written "Though I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death I shall fear no evil, for You are with me." That doesn't just apply to dying, it applies to living as well. We all walk through a Valley in a Shadow, and God wants you to know He has not abandoned you. :-)

    Problem #4- It's natural to feel rejected after something like this. It feels like nothing you do is ever good enough, and whatever you do you are rejected. You have to remember that unless you let this experience change you, you are the same girl that that boy wanted to be with. You are still worthy of what you want, and that hasn’t changed.

    The flip side of problem #4 is that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you see yourself as ugly, you will give up, and quit taking care of this attractive girl. Starving this girl, making her feel miserable, making her feel unwanted and unattractive...frankly, destroying that girl is a crime! I think that girl owes herself more than that. I think that girl needs to be loved… not just by a guy, but by herself too. :-)

    God hasn’t abandoned you. He only puts us through challenges He knows we can get through, so you can learn and grow from it. God is listening, and as He promises will provide you with what you need to make it through this, because He knows you can!

    I’d recommend reaching out to someone trained in helping you work through your feelings. Sometimes just talking to a counselor and letting someone else know what you are going through can help a lot.

    Life is never easy, but then again, nothing that is worthwhile ever is. With the exception of Eddy, we are all pulling for you! :-))


What Guys Said 3

  • Please don't do this to yourself! Dying's not gonna help... My off/on girlfriend had her husband leave her and say the same kind of things, & it turned out to be true... He was morbidly obese & forced to be away from jer during weeks, and got to the point he just wanted to sit in a chair, eat & do nothing & he knew he'd drag her down... I SERIOUSLY DOUBT your boyfriend left you for your looks, and I don't know if they're being less than sensitive but I don't think your friends want to hurt you... They want you to eat better & snap out of your depression, and you feeling better will go a long way to you looking better & their being less concerned. Besides, you say you're in dental school... The schools around here have the students wear surgical scrubs, and I haven't seen a girl YET in scrubs who didn't look cute, sexy & everything else... Glad you're feeling some hope now cause I want you to smile again :D

  • Nothing in life comes easy,.1-theres nothing else you can do cos its over and you have 2 get over it and move on,dont let it affect d way you study,.

    2-education/academic success requires lots of study and concentration,.am sure you v intelligent friends in your department or any professor,meet them,study with them,do practicals with them and see how they do it nicely,let them knw the difficulties you v in your course and they will surely help u..

    3-life z never easy,u v 2 embrace it and live it,just be a good person,try your best 2 do the right thing,.their z hope 4tomorrow cos you never knw what it might bring..(so don't think of dieing)..

    -dont let your breakup affect your way of life or anything,.tomorrow brings hope 4 good or better even the best..

    -keep praying 2 God 4 his assistant in your everyday life cos with him,nothing is impossible,and also try hanging out with your friends,go watch movie,have fun anyway,be happy and be cheerful...and hope 4 the best...goodluck;-)

  • 1. F*** your boyfriend then. Go get another one and stop moaning. You sound like a little dependent child that can't do anything for itself. And you're never going to become a dentist with that attitude. The classes you have to take. Man the hell up.

    2. If you're doing bad at school then get tutoring. If you're really committed than you'll keep fighting. I once failed an organic chem class 2x before I aced it the third. STUDY. AND DO NOTHING ELSE. studying and failing with pride is passing. as long as your will is strong you can keep working in school.

    3/4. You're bored of living and you're doing dentistry. nice parallel there. consider a change in career? when you lose someone close to you then think about suicide. This is the stupidest sht I've heard in my life. gtfo about losing your boyfriend. Go see a shrink if its that bad. and let me tell you something toots. LOOKS DONT MEAN SHT. A PERSONS CHARACTER IS MORE IMPORTANT AND ANYONE WHO THINKS LOOKS DEFINES A PERSON IS A ROYAL DUMB ASS. GROW UP and stop whining. that's life there's no damn instruction manual.


What Girls Said 3

  • Girl, you are never alone and God is always listening, but sometimes when we are feeling so consumed by our feelings we do not hear his answers. Know that God loves you and will never leave you. I understand that you are depressed because loosing your boyfriend hurts, but only you can come to terms with that loss. Keep focusing on your studies, that is what is going to help you not to miss him so much. Don't let the professors get to you and believe me they are not perfect, even if they think so. You must take control of your life and do not listen to what all these other people have to say, especially when it's such negative stuff. Believe in yourself and learn to love yourself again, it will get better. At one stage or another we all go through bad times. When you feel alone, sad or depressed turn to God, your friends, your family and even to me if you wish. Be brave and I hope this helps you a little.

  • have hope. picture in your head a great future and then keep thinking it then go for it. go for it because you only have one life and believe that you can have it and you deserve to be happy.

    good luck

  • I think that you're going through is normal, and a lot of people have been there.

    I know that my sister, Alana, started Pre-Pharmacy at Pitt in the fall and her boyfriend broke up with her. She was like you and felt completely dejected and ugly after her ex dumping her. She lost weight and got severely depressed. She even admitted to me that she considered suicide at times. And I find that so incredibly saddening that you would allow your happiness to be contingent on another person, especially a guy. I understand that you're sad your relationship ended, but it's because he didn't want you. And you should be glad that you're not with him anymore. Why would you ever, ever want to settle and go along in a relationship where your partner doesn't feel lucky to have you?

    You have to remember that you don't need anyone to fulfill you. When you're in a relationship, a healthy one - your partner should be complementary NOT supplementary. Meaning that you're already a completely satisfied, content person without anyone else and having a boyfriend just enriches your already great life. I think that's where a lot of people go wrong and rush into relationships and all they entail just to be in a relationship.

    My best advice to you is to stay focused on yourself. Forget about your ex. Grieve and then don't give him a second thought because you're better off without him. Focus in your academics. Go to your professors during office hours and get ALL the help you can. Go to free tutoring and find study groups. The only way to improve your grades and not be behind another year is to work your ass off. I know you can do it. All it takes is some dedication. And now that you don't have a boyfriend you'll have much more free time.

    Secondly, eat healthy and exercise. Exercising releases endorphins that make you happy. The last thing you need is your health failing and people worrying about your eating habits on top of them knowing you were dumped. Don't give people anything to talk about. If you look happy and fake it, eventually you'll believe it and naturally be happy.

    If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts or committing self-injury you'll need to speak to someone immediately. Here are some resources, just in case-



    • My sister actually dropped out of school and thankfully she was allowed to be readmitted.

    • Her first day is tomorrow and she's now totally over her ex. In fact, he keeps blowing up her phone asking her to hang out every weekend and she just ignores him or makes excuses. You will reach this point. Just give it time.