OK so here's my story. I have very low self-confidence, I never had a boyfriend and never kissed anyone. But the thing is everyone I know has at some point told me I am attractive. they tell me I'm beautiful, I have amazing style, I have a perfect body etc. Especially girls, for no reason at all. They just come up to me and say it. Guys however, only certain guys do, most of them tell other people I'm attractive and I find out from them. But the thing is I never get asked out, ever. Am I intimidating, I mean I find that hard to believe, I don't think I'm THAT attractive but a lot of people do and I'm very confused what can I do to make this better because I'm very shy, I don't think I can ever ask a guy out so the only way I can have a boyfriend is if they approach me and they never do!
Most Helpful Girl
Your problem is the "very low self-confidence" part, not your looks. We are lead to believe, in popular media, that great looks and a hot body trumps everything, but it simply is not true.
When you have low self-confidence it permeates your being and your interactions with others. You will have unattractive behaviors because of it. Usually for women that means you are very hard to approach. Women lacking in confidence are timid and struggle to have conversations with others, especially prospective dates. You usually are not comfortable with eye contact, and you cannot hold much of a conversation for long since you are usually too busy considering what the other person thinks of you and trying to figure out what you should or should not say. Super unnatural and not fun to talk to.
What exactly you do and how it affects your ability to establish relationships with others, well you can probably explain some of that, but I bet you would be surprised at what you don't notice and catch about your interactions. The reality is that are putting up invisible walls that are preventing others from approaching you. You don't think you are deserving of love, you don't get it that someone would find you amazing so you protect yourself from the potential rejection you imagine you will get instead.
You first need to work on your confidence. It won't come from others telling you that you are great, or attractive. You already get those comments and you still don't feel good about yourself. This is about you falling in love with yourself, finding yourself amazing. If you do not love yourself and accept yourself, how do you really expect others to connect to you? Work on your confidence (look for books on the subject, google for it, ask about it on here) if you want to get to that first kiss. It's not like you need to become super overly confident, just making regular small steps in that direction will make a big difference. Good luck.0