Have I missed my opportunity? and if I haven't, what should I do?

There's a guy where I work - at a reasonably large company, around 1,500 employees - I'd say that, like me, he's in his mid-late 30s and for a few months in the middle to the end of last year he and his buddy would come to the floor where my department is located to play ping pong on the table we have in the common area and every time I walked by, to use the rest room or whatever, he would stare at me. Now from other posts I've read on this topic his behavior indicates that maybe he liked me, but to be honest when men act like this how do they honestly expect a woman to react because quite frankly, as an averagely attractive woman who doesn't automatically assume that any guy who looks in her direction is attracted to her, the staring made me completely paranoid and when I passed by I'd always be wondering if I had something on my face or if a button had popped and I was exposing myself for the world to see, so it was a few months before the penny dropped and I started to wonder 'is he staring because he likes me?'

Now I find this guy to be really attractive and had he asked me out I would have absolutely said yes, but the staring threw me for a loop and being fairly shy myself I was not the type to take the bull by the horns and ask him out, especially since women are often told that if a guy is sufficiently interested he'll find some way of asking you out, so I did nothing, except feel self conscious every time I passed him, however the situation got me thinking about him and just as the paranoia was abating and I'd started to look at him in a different light he stopped coming to play ping pong.

About a month passed by and I didn't see him around the building at all - our paths don't cross in work situations - and I started to wonder if he'd left the company, but then I spotted him at the holiday party in December and hoped to catch his eye, but unfortunately the man passed right by me and didn't even look in my direction, just when I was hoping that with both of us fortified by alcohol we'd at least get to talk. Since we've returned from the holidays I've spotted him once in the cafeteria, when again he walked right by me and didn't look in my direction. It's possible he didn't see me, but my gut tells me that the bloom is definitely off the rose, a situation I find immensely frustrating given I now find myself interested in him just as he appears to have moved on.

Any advice? Should I just move on too?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Hi, Guys are strange ... I'm taking his initial reaction that he liked you, but maybe he was afraid to approach you, thinking you may be out of his league? And when you didn't go for the 'look' and do the head tilt thing guys do, he probably thought you were not interested. So now he decided to ignore you. OR he could be playing hard to get. I'm not sure if you are brazen enough, but maybe you could 'run' into him and make conversation with him.. If he shows interest, (simple conversation) 'how about those eagles...?' LOL and see what he does or says. And watch his body posture too. Turned away, not looking at you in your eyes, he may not be confident enough to talk to you, or he's just not interested anymore. I would start with the first suggestion.. Run into him if that doesn't fly, then move on. How do you carry yourself? Do you look down when you walk? Or head up, shoulders back? He could of read your body as well.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I say that if the opportunity is gone, make a new one yourself! The next time you see him, just walk into his path and, as he walks past you, bump shoulders with him and apologize or drop something. Do something subtle like that! Take note of his reaction - it could very well be the real answer to your question.

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What Girls Said 1

  • If he passes you again, grab his arm and ask him about something. Don't let him pass you.

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