Should I pretend to be a recovering alcoholic?

I don't drink and never have, not for any particular reason, but because I've never wanted to. This poses a big problem, because women generally react negatively.

Most women tend to define themselves by some sort of socially recognized identity (the bad girl, the nice girl, the nerdy girl, the fun girl, etc.). When the fun girls or party girls learn that I don't drink, they assume I'm uptight and judgmental, and thereby unattractive. The nice girls, who often have reservations or guilt about their own drinking, perceive me as "nicer" than themselves, which makes me a threat to their self-definition, and thereby unattractive.

One possible solution is to explain my sobriety by saying I am a recovering alcoholic. That will make me interesting, strong-willed, and committed to self-improvement, but at the same time, a little bad (attractive). They'll eventually figure it out, but that will make me a liar, which is also a little bad (attractive). The nice girls will be fine with it, because they'll be able to feel like they're better than me.

I probably wouldn't actually do it, because I'm an honest dude, but it's an interesting idea. What do you think, would it work?


0|0
6|4

Most Helpful Girl

  • wow, are you serious? are girls that judgmental to you?

    I don't think you have to lie about yourself to get a girl to like you.

    I'm sure there will be a girl that doesn't mind if you don't like drinking.

    My guy also does not like drinking because his dad was an alcoholic drunk.

    My family is pure Christian and so my dad does not approve of us partying/drinking and all that other stuff.

    So I am a non-drinker and when I found out he doesn't drink either, it was a great thing. Because the last guy I dated before him was an alcoholic and always drinked way too much beer. so I was happy he didn't drink. I didn't judge him or think he would judge me or anything, I just liked him because he was my type. He worked hard, was super smart, didn't drink, quit smoking and he was willing to win me over.

    Find a girl who will like you for you, for the non-alcoholic that you are. I'm sure there are some other there. good luck

    1|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 5

  • Don't do that! Why change who you are? I respect that you don't drink...I don't either. It's not like your parents are not allowing you to at your age. It's a personal choice. More power to u! It would be so easy to just pick up the bottle and drink but much harder to withstand peer pressure and choose not to, whatever the reason. My dad doesn't drink because of his heart problems...don't know if that helps any but if you absolutely have to use an excuse because you feel awkward without one that reason sounds better than saying you're a recovering alcoholic! I understand where you're coming from though. It's possible that you're attracted to the wrong kind of girls though...could be part of the problem. Don't go looking for "Ms. Right" in the bars! =)

    0|0
    0|0
  • That's an awful idea. Girls don't think like that. You'll be found out as a fake. And I think I would react worse if a guy said he was a recovering alcoholic than if he just didn't drink .

    0|0
    0|0
    • Girls don't THINK they think like that. Of course, that's a generalization, but typically true.

  • uhh no. Assuming youwant to actually get to know these women in any way, a lie like that is really messed up. Own your position- I know a fair amount of people that choose not to drink, and no one judges them. Lying isn't ok- I couldn't just dismiss something like that.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I agree with what you're saying, but I think most girls would find it attractive, and I also think that most girls would look past the lie, once the attachment is created. A lot of good girls go for jerk guys and excuse away their lies and ill behavior. I'm actually a nice, honest guy, so I think a tactic like that would just make me more interesting to a girl.

  • don't don't don't. growing up in a home with an alcoholic/recovering alcoholic parent, I know it's a constant struggle to stay sober... it's NOT a relationship I ever want to choose to get into again.

    1|0
    0|0
    • You're smart to learn from your experiences in this way. Mainly, though, I'm making commentary on how flaws are more likely to attract women for the sake of their own self-perception issues.

  • Just be honest, I've liked guys that just don't drink, and some straight edge ones too... but if he's a liar.. I'm instantly gone haha.

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 4

  • Never mind that this is seriously insulting to recovering alcoholics. It's like shaving yourself bald and pretending to be a cancer survivor.

    It's also impractical. First, anyone who's dealt with a real recovering alcoholic will immediately smell the bullsh*t at ten paces. And heaven help you if you meet someone who's actually in recovery; they'll be very pissed, and will out you in the most humiliating way possible--as they should.

    If you're an honest dude, just learn to do something cool that you have a real passion for. Passion and integrity are an excellent mix.

    1|1
    0|1
    • Alcoholism is a condition resulting from personal choices, whereas cancer is not (necessarily), so your analogy is invalid. There's also a dramatic difference in mortality rates, as alcoholics are more likely to kill those around them. A better analogy might be a parolee - which may also work in the scenario.

      Anyway, they shouldn't be insulted by immitation, which as they say, is a form of flattery.

      I think you're missing the point, though.

    • Alcoholism run in families, just like cancer. Draw your own conclusions.

      You're just trolling with that mortality crack. I'm ignoring it.

      Fact is, you're not pretending to be a recovering alcoholic to flatter anyone--that's a self-serving rationalization for a self-serving lie.

      For whatever reason, you're not against to bullsh*tting others, but bullsh*t yourself and you'll get busted real fast.

  • that's an awesome idea! I don't like to bullsh*t women tho, it's unnecessary but would be a great experiment

    0|0
    0|0
  • That's-a-pretty-interesting-idea-but-don't-you-think-the-consequences-out-weigh-the-benefits-if-they-find-out-it-was-a-lie?

    0|0
    0|0
    • No way, because lying accomplishes a similar goal.

    • but-do-you-think-you-can-pull-this-off,cause-it-seems-tough-if-you-can-avoid-conflict-that-would-be-pretty-tightass

  • That's good, you can also say "I'm the designated driver, and I have to take care of, and watch out for all my friends". It's a very masculine and strong alpha male thing to say. I myself am a recovering addict and I'm currently doing my third AA program. I have been in the hospital over 10 times because of alcohol and lost a lot of my friends and have done a lot of crazy and embarrassing things that I regret. Whatever you do, don't go back! lol

    1|0
    0|1
Loading...