so she got a white dress and she wasn't a virgin when I met her and I told her I'm not going to marry her while she wears that dress. well she started crying and now I feel like an ass but I feel that her wearing that dress is disrespectful to what a white dress signifies its like lying in a way
ok thanks for the comments I needed outside opinions. I mad a d*** move and I guess I got to do something big to make up for it, any ideas ladies, I guess I dug myself a hole
The white dress does not symbolize virginity, this is a common myth. The white dress actually originally became a fad in the 1840s in London, where it symbolized wealth because a woman would not be able to wear the dress again...it would get dirty too easily. At that point in history, most women only had one nice dress that they would wear to special occasions, which could be any color. Yes, you are an ass. Its 2011, any slut can get married in a white dress if they want without anyone saying a word about it. So give your fiancee a break and let her wear whatever she damn well pleases, I mean jesus...its just a dress.
Ok- as a trainee wedding planner let me tell you- White does NOT just signify virginity. It symbolises the end of the old 'unmarried' life and the start of her 'married' life with you. So regardless of virginity that is one of the reasons women started wearing them. Secondly, the white wedding dress was not a popular choice up until Victoria married Albert in 1840. It is a FASHION statement. Women wear the dress because it's traditional, it's one of the few occasions we can get away with wearing a white dress and for the above reason that I have already mentioned.
Finally, it was a d*** move. We know this. But seriously, it's HER fantasy. Unless you've been dreaming of what your wedding would be like since you were 6 (which I doubt) you really don't have THAT much say. It's great if you want to be involved but don't sh*t on her dreams because you have a bigoted, incorrect view, that women should ONLY wear the dress if they're virgins.
Well you messed up big time lol so your gonna have to do something huge, start out by apologizing for what you said and tell her you didn't mean it. Our wedding is something that all women dream about and its your day together, but its a huge ordeal for her so let her do it her way, and love her for it. Take her to a really nice place depending on your guys' hobbies,do something unbeliveable cute, like take her on a horse and carraige ride though a park, or dog sledding, or to a fancy restauraunt or whatever you know she will love, then at the perfect moment get on one knee and say your apologie as sincerely as possible and give her something sweet, doesn't have to be bought, maybe make it, something that shows you put time and effort into this so she can look and see how bad you feel about this.
Look up some gorgeous PURE white dresses online and show them to her and tell her how beautiful she would look in them (even if you find cream or baby pink or something or even just a colored bow she may take it as an insult so make sure the white is a true white). Tell her that the white can symbolize your innocence together as a couple. In flowers white roses symbolize a commitment, not virginity. So that may work for you too. Plus chocolates and flowers never hurt! Try white roses and get all mushy and tell her the meaning (after looking it up, I don't know it entirely)
Most everyone, including pregnant celebrities, wears a white dress on her wedding. It doesn't signify what it used to anymore, and regardless, you made your fiance cry over something that was not a big deal.
Does it really matter if the women you love wears a a f***ing white dress if she is not a virgin? The only way you can make this up to her is to tell her you WILL marry her in that dress and be sure to bring chocolates anf flowers the whole works since you screwed up bad.
That was a seriously d*** move honey. Who cares what color the dress is as long as you are marrying the woman that you love? It is every woman's fantasy to walk down the isle in a white gown, so let her have the dream. Don't ruin it with your own bu**s***. I personally would have dumped you at that point.
Why would you ask a question and then argue about what people tell you? That's like me PAYING for guitar lessons and then arguing with the instructor about what I should be learning.
I don't see how letting her wear a white dress is disrespectful. That isn't even the original intent of wearing a white dress. Just chill out, this is her wedding day. The day she gets to be a princess and show off to everyone. She wouldn't even be crying if she didn't love you. Go and treat your bride like the princess she is, and stop worrying about what others think about you, your bride, or even your relationship. If you two really are getting married for the right reasons, you could get naked and get married and it shouldn't matter to either one of you. Just keep an open mind to everything in life and chill out.
Wearing a white dress is a moniker of purity, not virginity. That was a misinterpretation. So unless she goes around slitting the throats of small animals, or something, she should be okay anyway, as tradition goes ^_^