How Does This Message Make Me Look?

Wrote to an Ex On Facebook..Sorry Its Long So I have to post some of it as a comment:

On Jan. 3rd 2011, something took place between me :Benjamin A. Wright III, And you :Adrian Sharda' Thomas, that I never thought would happen. We had a real break up, and now that I look back on the past, we never really had a break up, we would just stop talking to each other for a while. During the last few weeks of my life, I have had time to reflect on who I have become, who I was, and who I want to be..I am taking steps to become the person I want to be, and I honestly now understand that had we stayed together, I would have never learned on my own..The Break up was a blessing in disguise, It seemed like the end of the world to me as I only thought about the negative stuff, instead of seeing it as a new beginning..and looking at the positive.I met a wonderful young lady, who turned into a beautiful women. All the stuff I have seen you go through makes me so proud of you and you should be proud of your self cause you have over come so much..from losing everything in your car accident, to leaving your parents house,losing your job at the shoppet.. And you manage to turn your life all the way around..finding a even better job, and your own place, providing for your self..You made so many big changes in your life in such a small amount of time..and it is amazing to me. I never really thought about all the stress you must have been going through and then on top of that, the stress our relationship had to have been giving you.Your life was going forward and I wasn't making no kind of attempt to do anything with my self and days passed by...I sit here and I see that even though I didn't think at the time that I was taking advantage of you..I was. I wasn't there to give you what you needed, and I should have been, you took care of me for so long and that wasn't fair to you.you have been doing that for your family your whole life and all I did was add stress. What I want you to know is I am sorry for the stuff I have done and pain I have caused. I remember it all..From cheating, to throwing your cds out the car,to calling you names, and breaking your stuff..I was very wrong to do that specially knowing everything you have been through and lost. I now see that I didn't show you I loved you like I did. I won't sit here and tell you I didn't love you, because I did..but I didn't do what was needed to show you that I loved you. I was lazy not only physically but also from a relationship stand point. All the childish games and stuff, logging into your account..that was petty and I wish I would have controlled my self better then I did. I can't change the past but I can become a better me and build a better future for my self. I have learned more then you know from you..and I really want to tell you thank you and from the bottom of my heart I do appreciate it and all that you have done for me. I was going to wait to send this maybe a week or so later,

Updates:
i didn't want you to read this while you are still upset and full of emotions about the stuff that just recently took place, but I believe its best for me to do it now. I know as of now, we are not together and y are moving on with your life, but maby one
day if you believe in me again or want to give me the chance to make it right with you, we can try again. Understand I don't expect you to write me back and I understand givin the way I dealt with our situation lately has be unrational and unattractive.
But I want you to know if you ever need to call I am always here for you, and I will replace everything I ever took from you..you are at the top of my list..so far I got: Vacuum,Door,Lamp,Cds
I know I can't replace the feelings you use to have for me,as its not material.But maby I can give you a little bit of peace and happiness now. Thanks for Everything you have done for me and taught me, and you are truly appreciated. I know I have done this
time and time again..say sorry then act crazy later but that is something I am working on now,not acting off emotion and thinking about what I do or say before I do or say it...God will continue to bless you cause you have a good heart
and your a good person and I hope for nothing but the best for you. Good Luck With Everything And Please keep doing well...Much Love - Ben..aka Bun B,aka Bookie Bear,aka B.A.E Ps: All the special days and events that I should have showed you how much i
care and didnt, I am sorry about that. And I truly regret ever hurting not only a women..my women..but also a Friend.We have time to grow into better people now, and maby down the line we will be together again or maby be friends...Only God Knows
But, I hope you get everything you deserve...You are well over due for some rewards in your life..


Love Forever -

Ben
Thanks..I Appreciate all of yalls answers..

0|0
6|1

Most Helpful Girl

  • This letter is very heartfelt & sincere! Sometimes break ups do open our eyes. I went through one that as much as it brought me down and hurt me..it also made me a BETTER & STRONGER person/woman. I'm not sure of ya'lls relationship, but it sounds like you took her for granted (that was my Ex as well) I guess it happens ot the best of us. I'm sure she will need her time & space. Please don't expect anything out of this letter, because like you when my Ex left me, I wrote letters pouring my heart out & explaining how much I realize this and that and so on. I would write him letters meaning well, but I guess because of the pain and hurt I was expecting him to respond & then when he didnt, I'd lose it emotionally & beg for him to come back and so on. So with this, you wished her well, if you truly love her let her go, she may come back, she may not. My Ex was my first love as well, we were together almost 6 years, the good thing is yall have history, and believe me she loves & still has feelings for you! I've been apart from my ex for almost 2 years & we have yet to full end contact. I had a rebound guy & pushed my ex away! out of being hurt! Then when I was done with my rebound guy, he had a girlfriend who is kind of his rebound...its all bad timing and sucks! I have no clue where what my future holds as far as him, I just say whatever is meant to be will be. For now, take time for YOU, better yourself, build yourself up, do all the things YOU need to do. She will see the change and come back around. Keep ya head up! Best Wishes!

    1|0
    0|0
    • Aww thanks for best answer! Stay Strong! G'luck!

What Girls Said 5

  • Wow! So amazing and thoughtful. Everything you said in that letter is how I feel towards my ex. And some of it I have told him. It's good to know that there are good guys out there that would show this type of emotion and feeling.

    My question I have for you is...why so you want to send this to her? Is it because you want her back, or for your own healing? I guess it doesn't make a big difference, however if you wrote this thinkin it will make her come back to u, please know its more likely that she WON'T come back. As you said yourself, you have said this to her many times (I'm sorry, I'll change etc...) there is no reason for her to think this time is any different (don't feel bad, ex told me this too).

    It sucks sometimes when we have to finally lose the one person we love to realize that we really did love them and that, wow, we really did f**k up. Hopefully, if they have/had true love for us they will be back.

    As for how it makes you look? Completely depends on how she feels towards you now. If she still has love, and she secretly was/is thinking of getting back with u, it could be the push she needs to give it another go with you (if that's what you want). On the other hand, if she is over you and has moved on, it could make her look at you in a sad way such as (Omg, he can't move on? How pathetic).

    My ex had moved on, and had already said he was happier without me when I sent him a very very similar letter. And I'm pretty sure all it did was boost his ego that I was still hanging on and made him feel that he did the right thing by breaking up with me.

    However, I'm glad I sent it. So, if you didn't send it, make sure your clear on what your looking to get from it (either get her back, or for your healing). And if you did send it, now all you can do is wait. ball is in her court now. Good luck

    0|0
    0|0
  • you need to relax.

    0|0
    1|0
  • That's a wonderful letter, but if you did cheat on her you shouldn't try to get with her again. It's not fair to her. I hope it works out for the best! (:

    0|0
    0|0
  • Just curious... How long have you guys been broken up for?

    0|0
    0|0
    • Since Jan. 3rd. I talked to her last night, she got back together with me, and then told me she didn't know..i told her that I would give her some time to think about it cause she didn't need to make a rushed decision, so now I will wait on her, and give her some space

  • u know its always easy...writing these stuffs after breakup...my guy wrote all this to me too...and when I took him back it was again the same old sh*t

    0|0
    1|0

What Guys Said 1

  • Wow... when I read this I had to step away from my laptop.. did she say she needed space or pushed you away because I swear me and you sound like we are in the same situation my girl or should I say now ex broke up with me because she was going through a lot BUT the thing is I NEVER CHEATED OR DID HER WRONG I was always there for her. She lost her mother I was there and she really has no place to stay @ my x push me out of her life because of all the stress. I didn't add anything but she didn't have the time to play wifey.. I think you should try to still be there for her bruh. And if she do give you a second chance don't blow it. But right now just give her space give her time to think and give yourself time to better your self for you can treat her like a goddess next time. Also you think I can barrow some of them lines in this message (copyright infringement) lol. Good luck man.. I hope it works.. I know you miss her cause I miss mind

    0|0
    0|0
    • I met her when I was 15..we were in a long distance relationship for 3 years and I cheated...that was before I met her, and then we met in person and was great..i end up moving to her state and tring to be together and we had problems but I always wanted to work them out. the last fight was about me not finding a job and me not being able to help her..then I did some mean stuff cause I was hurt and I told her I was wrong, but 2 days after we stop talking she already sending some guy pics ect.

    • Show All
    • Thats crazy man same thing me and my x were and a long distance but it was only 20 min away. She on da rebound man, she just tryn hard 2 get over you that's all. Mayb this was a learning lesson 2 b better with HER or the NXT 1 keep your head up trust me she ant over you and you can use this time 2 find a job and do right. Jst chill out 4 awhile she will come around even tho she is talkn 2 another guy..

    • I hope so, cause the amount of time she spends talking to him is crazy..and she blows his phone up...Then he live in New orleans and she's going there for Mardi Gras so I'm lost about this 1..she was my 1st love and stuff so this my 1st break up..and I'm 21 smh

Loading...