One of the physics profs at my college is an old Asian woman, every time she says "direction" it sounds like "erection", what makes it even better is she will often be pointing to a big arrow on the white board and say "that erection"
My friend works at a restaurant, but the phone number to the restaurant is the same phone number to the geek squad computer tech company (best buy), except without the 1-800 in the beginning. And what happens is people call my friends restaurant when they're actually looking for the geek squad. A while back, my friend answers the phone and hears the other person say "Yeah my modem is broken" ... so my friend puts him on hold and gets his co-worker Abdul, (who is from morocco, and doesn't know what a crank/prank call is, but my friend Matt see's an opportunity to mess with Abdul and tells him he has a phone call. They joke back and forth)...
Abdul answers the phone and again the guy says "Yeah my modem is broke, and I can't fix it!" and Abdul gets confused and says "Well, Buddy, I can put cheese and pepperoni on your modem and cook it until its well-done but I don't know if that will help."
And my friend Matt, starts laughing so hard, he burnt the food he was cooking.
I dated a Polish girl whose voice, accent and way of speaking I just loved... the best thing she said to me was, 'Did I Left My Jammies At Yours?' Basically she said left as it was past tense, instead of leave at the same time used a slang term for pyjamas. I thought it was adorable. :3
Not to me, but my cousin always e-mails me these hilarius absence excuses and other things from Indians who are non-native English speakers:
"As I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."
"I am suffering from fever, please declare one-day holiday." =)
"I am well here and hope you are also in the same well."
A candidate's job application:
"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both(! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post."
Ahaha this reminds me of a guy on youtube, he puts up hilarious prank call vids.. he's been known to call 711 and posing to be a member of the "Employee Accent Traning Division" He was on the phone with this poor indian guy who just opened a 711, and was telling him how to say certain things, and told him that he HAD to say "You look like whale" after he checked customers out and you could hear him telling customers "You look like whale, goodbye" Told him to tell a customer "bang bank skeet skeet nigga" and some inappropriate things to a female customer.. It was absolutely freakin hilarious. OwnagePranks on youtube. Honestly never laughed so hard on the internet.
my friend made a faux pas when she first came to america... she's chinese so she has an accent. She wanted to order a soda at a restaurant. Well, she ordered a "c.o.c.k" and the waiter goes what? She said, I'd like a c**k please...
After realising what was happening and no doubt wondering if he just got a boner...
he said, Oh you'd like a coke?!
she said, not realising her mistake. "yes, I'd like a c**k please..."
hahaha ohhhh I love this:) my friend is from lebenon and when she moved here she was too funny:)
I remember a couple of years ago she was talking about porcipines, but she wasn't making any sense so one of our other friends asked her what a pocipine was and she said, " you know one of those spikey fish that swim around and then go boom like a a balloon..." she was talking about a blow fish, obvi haha. but we still don't let her forget it:]
other than that she still makes little mistakes like saying floor she she is talking about the grass outside or something
In high school, we had a foreign exchange student. He said the most amazing thing about America is their "cheese in a can." He was talking about Easy Cheese, & aparrantly, they didn't have that in the country he was from. You may have had to be there to get how funny it was, but it was hilarious.
My persian cousin says, "stop making fun at me," "you are wild, and verrrry impolite," "OOOuuuuuch" ha hahahah
Ricky quote: "Don't cross your chickens before their bridges are hatched.
I Love Lucy.
:) While I was in Germany with my exchange partner, we were out shopping and something happened, I don't remember exactly what, but it was something unfortunate and she turns to me and says in her German accent " Shit Happens." in the most serious voice, and I just couldn't stop laughing.