What's the best thing you've heard a non-native English speaker say?

I love listening to people who don't speak English as their first language. I like to hear what words they choose and how they use the words.

For example, most people who speak English would say, "my weight yo-yos" to say that it goes up and down, but my coworker the other day said, "my weight is a yo-yo."

Not the best example, but you get the idea. I also like it when she says Wednesday because she pronounces all three syllables.

So what have you heard that you liked or thought was interesting?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I had a foregin friend in high school. One day we were in maths and I was just looking out the window and she was eating nuts, when suddenly she turns to me and says

    "I love penis."

    me: what did you just say?

    her: I love penis.

    I burst out laughing and she frantically pulls my arm: Why are you laughing? why are you laughing?

    I wipe my eyes: write down what word you meant to say.

    So she writes down 'peanuts'.

    Me: okay, you said this.

    She reads it then looks at me: What does it mean?

    I start laughing again and tell her to look it up on her dictionary. She does and her face turned to horror.

    her: NOOOOOOO! I LOVE PEANUTS! PEANUTS!

    lol, that still makes me laugh today.

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What Guys Said 19

  • One of the physics profs at my college is an old Asian woman, every time she says "direction" it sounds like "erection", what makes it even better is she will often be pointing to a big arrow on the white board and say "that erection"

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  • My friend works at a restaurant, but the phone number to the restaurant is the same phone number to the geek squad computer tech company (best buy), except without the 1-800 in the beginning. And what happens is people call my friends restaurant when they're actually looking for the geek squad. A while back, my friend answers the phone and hears the other person say "Yeah my modem is broken" ... so my friend puts him on hold and gets his co-worker Abdul, (who is from morocco, and doesn't know what a crank/prank call is, but my friend Matt see's an opportunity to mess with Abdul and tells him he has a phone call. They joke back and forth)...

    Abdul answers the phone and again the guy says "Yeah my modem is broke, and I can't fix it!" and Abdul gets confused and says "Well, Buddy, I can put cheese and pepperoni on your modem and cook it until its well-done but I don't know if that will help."

    And my friend Matt, starts laughing so hard, he burnt the food he was cooking.

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  • I dated a Polish girl whose voice, accent and way of speaking I just loved... the best thing she said to me was, 'Did I Left My Jammies At Yours?' Basically she said left as it was past tense, instead of leave at the same time used a slang term for pyjamas. I thought it was adorable. :3

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  • A sub teacher once said to a girl talking too much "you have two ears and one mouth, but you use them disproportionately"

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  • My country has its own page on wikipedia... link :D

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  • Many europeans who speak English as a second language, don't know that "Sword" has a silent 'w'

    So instead of saying "sord" they pronounce it as "sw-ord"

    It always sounds very strange to my ear.

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  • There's this guy in Three Kings called Captain Said that says some pretty funny things in a thick Arabic accent.

    "Oh my God buddy, I didn't even tell you the horrible part yet."

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  • I like how you say, wadder boddle, tomay-to and aluminum. How cute!

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  • I love it when they say: "I love America!".

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    • Two arrows down. Wow.

    • Show All
    • Yeah. My theory is the real motive for the Marxist movement is to bring all workers under one trade union, and then whoever controls the trade union has a monopoly on labor and can shut down all production in the entire world if they feel like it.

    • Marxism isn't about spreading the wealth and hurting the rich. The financial backers and the organizers of Marxism today ARE the rich class (example: Soros).

      I think the "foot soldiers" of the movement are actually about promoting workers rights (or what have you), but the leaders and financial backers of the movement have something else in mind...

  • I like the way the Irish call a movie a fi-lum.

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  • "This is so sweet!"

    Instead of

    "That is so sweet!"

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    • What's with the downs? I'm being serious. I thought it was really nice of her to say, and it being slightly off made me laugh.

  • seventeen

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  • At Heathrow airport in London a few years back: a woman approaches airport staff and says "Execute me please, where are the toilets?" I almost died laughing.

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  • ¿Por què hace usted esta pregunta usted se burla porqué no ablo el inglés? Cuando uste oye alguien que no habla inglés pa uste se suena gracioso por què yo sólo sé el español?

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    • no creo que tu solo sepas espan~ol si entendiste esta pregunta. Ella no esta haciendole burla a nadie solo le parece interesante como ablan cuando no es costumbre para otros pero no piensa que es gracioso. No te preocupes no esta ofendiendo a nadie.

    • Show All
    • I obviously missed this whole conversation, but I was not intending to be malicious at all. I don't laugh at them - I think they use English words better than we do sometimes. I find it very interesting to hear people use English words in ways we wouldn't think of. It has nothing to do with pronunciation of words or laughing at people..

    • I also speak a little Spanish, so I can appreciate how difficult it is to speak another language. I know the frustration that comes from knowing what you'd like to say but not being able to find the words. I wouldn't laugh at someone for that..

  • "I Yping D ick." Unfortunately, that really was her name.

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  • He was wearing a skin jacket. Meant leather jacket obviously.

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  • "You're so cute".

    This was said to me a long time ago. Still brings a smile.

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  • "I'm going back to Mexico now"

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  • LOL well this happened yesterday... my mom said something dumb (like literally.. something that made no sense LOL)

    my sister: you're dumb!

    mom: you're dumb!

    sister: YOU SUCK

    mom (who wanted to say 'you blow'): YOU POO!

    me: no... =.= you wanted to say you blow right?

    mom: yes. You blow! ... what does that mean?

    me: ...

    sister: ...

    mom: dad what does that mean!

    dad:... YOU BLOW

    me + sister: LOLOLOLOLOLOL

    This is from my friend. :).

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What Girls Said 27

  • Not to me, but my cousin always e-mails me these hilarius absence excuses and other things from Indians who are non-native English speakers:

    "As I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."

    "I am suffering from fever, please declare one-day holiday." =)

    "I am well here and hope you are also in the same well."

    A candidate's job application:

    "This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both(! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post."

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  • Ahaha this reminds me of a guy on youtube, he puts up hilarious prank call vids.. he's been known to call 711 and posing to be a member of the "Employee Accent Traning Division" He was on the phone with this poor indian guy who just opened a 711, and was telling him how to say certain things, and told him that he HAD to say "You look like whale" after he checked customers out and you could hear him telling customers "You look like whale, goodbye" Told him to tell a customer "bang bank skeet skeet nigga" and some inappropriate things to a female customer.. It was absolutely freakin hilarious. OwnagePranks on youtube. Honestly never laughed so hard on the internet.

    Not completely on topic. But kind of.

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  • One time me, my dad, my mom, and my brother (Rich) were in the car headed to New York. My dad called up my brother (Don) to ask him how his doctor appointment went the other day.

    Don: They're giving me 3 weeks. (Joking)

    Dad: Oh. Everybody, he's going to be better in 3 weeks.

    Another time my dad got mad at me for not putting my dirty clothes in right place.

    Dad: Put your clothes in the hampster!

    Mom: The hampster? You mean the hamper.

    Dad: What's the difference?

    Another time was when I was with my cousin. He kept repeating this thing that his music teacher would always say, "Thank you, you are very window." What does that mean? lol.

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  • my friend made a faux pas when she first came to america... she's chinese so she has an accent. She wanted to order a soda at a restaurant. Well, she ordered a "c.o.c.k" and the waiter goes what? She said, I'd like a c**k please...

    After realising what was happening and no doubt wondering if he just got a boner...

    he said, Oh you'd like a coke?!

    she said, not realising her mistake. "yes, I'd like a c**k please..."

    lol

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  • If I'd say that I'd say "My weight varies...".

    Are you talking about people who don't know English that well?

    ...because I'm not a native speaker, but I know English (better than a lot of the native speakers if I might add...)...

    Native speakers often don't know how to spell words (pretty embarrassing), and they barely understand half the words non-native speakers say (and our accents are impeccable /some of ours/ haha)...

    You've gotten out of touch with words! The average native speaker's vocabulary is completely stripped of 'more complicated' (even though I wouldn't call them that) words.

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    • No, I'm talking about people who are not native speakers. Maybe I should have been more specific and said SOME non-native speakers so that you wouldn't think I was lumping everyone together.

      And I'm not talking about how complicated the words are that native or non-native speakers use. I'm talking about the way they use words.

  • I go with you and me...For 'we go together.'

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  • hahaha everything on this site.

    link

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  • hahaha ohhhh I love this:) my friend is from lebenon and when she moved here she was too funny:)

    I remember a couple of years ago she was talking about porcipines, but she wasn't making any sense so one of our other friends asked her what a pocipine was and she said, " you know one of those spikey fish that swim around and then go boom like a a balloon..." she was talking about a blow fish, obvi haha. but we still don't let her forget it:]

    other than that she still makes little mistakes like saying floor she she is talking about the grass outside or something

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  • I like the way my friend says, " I think he wants to attract me with force.."

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  • cussi instead of excuse me - I just cracked up for days - now I use that term everywhere

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  • This was made by the guy who does southpark (while he was still in school): link

    I know the quality of this vid sucks, but its still funny.

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  • My spanish teacher he used to pronounce vegtables as veggg-etta-bles ha ha that was one of the ones I thought was funny, or this german sub we had said weinersnichel supppper funny haha

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  • guy from taiwan : they were together last night and he shot for her

    me: he shot? what did he shoot for her?

    him: sperm.

    haha

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  • In high school, we had a foreign exchange student. He said the most amazing thing about America is their "cheese in a can." He was talking about Easy Cheese, & aparrantly, they didn't have that in the country he was from. You may have had to be there to get how funny it was, but it was hilarious.

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  • Once, during a class my foreign friend was trying to explain something, and he didn't know how to say rooster, so he said "chicken man". He's still haring about it from me 5 years later :))

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  • i had a swiss friend who whenever we talked about another friend called "Harry" she pronounced it "Hairy" she just couldn't tell the difference, it was very cute.

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  • A friendsaid to me 'I love you're sweatness' I think he meant 'I love you're sweetness' lol XD

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  • Please, my darling, go take off your shirt! :P

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  • Lol, when my mom tries to say Burger King, it sounds like she says "Booty Keen."

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  • Anything my Korean friend has ever said. The things he says are just great haha, and his accent is adorable.

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  • We were watching a movie and my mom goes, "Reverse it" instead of "Rewind it"

    LMAOOO

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  • "Crazy Americans!"

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  • This German dude..."I'm on my way!"

    lmao

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  • my chinese friend was telling me about 'vultures' she'd seen in the mountains when she'd been on holiday... but she said "Vulcans"... ahaha.. I just burst out laughing

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    • ohh and my greek history teacher always cracked me up because we had text books by an author called "Hornblower".. and he pronounced 'blower' like 'flower' all the time. made classes all the more fun though.. it happened with quite a few different words!

    • Beautiful.

    • The Vulcan thing.. Not so much the other..

  • My persian cousin says, "stop making fun at me," "you are wild, and verrrry impolite," "OOOuuuuuch" ha hahahah

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  • Ricky quote: "Don't cross your chickens before their bridges are hatched.

    I Love Lucy.

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  • :) While I was in Germany with my exchange partner, we were out shopping and something happened, I don't remember exactly what, but it was something unfortunate and she turns to me and says in her German accent " Shit Happens." in the most serious voice, and I just couldn't stop laughing.

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