How come you 'good' girls won't go out with me?

K, I'm not sure if you guys can really see my picture, but anyways, I'm wondering how come the 'good' girls won't go out with me? I'm a really outgoing guy, fit and muscular type of guy, I don't think I'm THAT bad looking. In college at the moment, I'm 23 years old, and most girls are 18 or 19. Like I've asked girls to go for coffee, and some of them just make up some excuse like, "I'm going to a movie with a friend." And there's this other girl that wore a ring on her ring finger the next day and I know she's single. I mean what's the deal here? I don't make it awkward or anything. The girls still talk to me. do I look like a gangster or a drug dealer or a player or what? Or am I saying something wrong? I just can't seem to ask out a girl without them making some lame excuse. Is something wrong with me? Or do they think I'm too old for them? Too outgoing for them? Or they think I'm outta their league?

Most girls that know me well tell me that I'm a really nice guy, and can't believe I don't have a girl friend.

What's wrong with me?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The pic is tiny.

    Are you coming on too strong?

    Here's the thing, younger girls don't know what they want. They don't have a clue what signals to send and what signals they are sending to guys.

    If you talk to an older girl, right away she lets you know if your invited or not to take her on a date. Thus the blessing of older chicks. Rather then talking to the younger ones, try hitting up older girls or if you insist on chatting with the younger ones, take your time. They take a bit to open up.

    "And there's this other girl that wore a ring on her ring finger the next day and I know she's single. I mean what's the deal here? I don't make it awkward or anything. The girls still talk to me."

    - this little observation makes you seem a little desperate. Not that I'm saying you are a loser or have no possible chance of getting girls. You're a good looking guy but you still want it too much. I talk to my girlfriends all the time and they can snuff out a desperate guy out a mile away.

    Just keep it cool, like the saying goes, everything will fall into place and *click. Go with it with an "if it happens, then it happens" attitude.

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    • Geez.... she's in my math class, we studied together... well, I've known her for a month... I skipped a class because I was behind in other classes, so she said she would take notes for me... So I said I'll take her out for coffee because she took the notes for me. Then she's like, oh, you really don't have to, so I said fine, I'll take you out for lunch then... I mean... that's not really awkward is it?

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    • I know the difference... we have long conversations after class... And we text one another about random things... If a girl is not interested I don't think they will follow you around and talk to you about random things... I dunno, maybe there's just something wrong with me? I look like the 'bad boy' type of guy...

    • She thinks you are a friend. FRIEND ZONE. Again, it's nothing wrong with you being a good guy or that you're not the bad boy. It's not you and I don't know why you want to front that image.

      Listen to what everyone is saying. There's nothing wrong with you, keep chopping at the tree, it'll fall down one day. If you knew the difference, why didn't she or every other girl you've approched want to date you?

      Don't be so eger to find a g/f, it's a lot of stress and hardwork. if it happens then

What Girls Said 8

  • Because I'm married! Haha ok a little cockiness there. Anyways, you seem to be a good looking guy from what I can see in your picture. A lot of girls like the naughty boys though, the bad ones. Sometimes its because it makes us feel like a rebel and sometimes its because we've bene hurt too many times by the good boys. But don't become bad because of it. The right girl will come along and will like you for who you are.

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  • Hmm, by the look's of your picture I really don't see why girl's won't date you. I can't really see your face but I can tell you must be good looking love the body, look's like you are in good shape. But I guess I will say women don't like nice guy it seems, If you want to get to know someone start by talking to her, don't just go up and say hey want to have lunch or coffee or something like that. If a guy came up to me and said that and I didn't know them very well I would get a little freaked and probly do what they are doing. Just take it slow

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  • duuuuude. some girls won't like you, get over it. it happens to ALL of us. just because they're not into you doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. you seem like my type.you seem like a lot of girls type. just some girls will turn you down, you just gotta keep asking.

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  • nothing is wrong with you.Something is just wrong with those girls. I have a friend that looks somewhat like you, he's 16, and he's a major player.
    So you may look like a player, but I don't know you as a person, so I can't really help with that.
    You seem like a nice guy, and nice guys tend to get screwed over, because for some odd reason, us girls tend to go for jerks. I don't exactly know why, but we do.

    So there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with you, but then again, I don't know you

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  • nothings wrong with you. IT'S OK. calm down. tht girl will come. BUT dnt try and wait for her or else it'll take forever.

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  • Because good girls go for bad boys, until they learn their lesson... :(

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  • DUDE! you and I are in the same boat. Guys always make a lame excuse to Not hang out. I mean, I just want to hang out, nothing else. So you should tell me what 's wrong with them. You should just continue what you're doing. Out going is cool. Just be your self and you'll be fine. I'll be honest that there have been times where I think a guy is out of my league so it wouldn't surprise me if those girls are thinking that. I think you'll be fine, give it time.

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    • If the guys are outta your league and if they ask you out, do you reject them? And why? I don't know if the girls think I'm a 'bad boy', maybe since I 'look' like one, and think I'm a player or what not... But anyways, for the guys, I've had a couple of girls ask me out which I didn't see as girlfriend material, so I kinda made up and excuse, other times, HONESTLY it was because I was busy, had other plans, etc... If I'm not really into the other person, I wouldn't make them my priority to hang out.

    • Well what if she wants to be friends, no biggy. No I wouldn't reject a guy who I thought was out of my league, I couldn't judge him buy looks, I can understand how difficult it can be to as some one out. But to tell you the truth looks are nice but I go up to the guy and start talking to him, try to get to know him, see if he's interesting than yeah I would go for it. But maybe these girls are shallow.... I don't know.

    • Friends... I know, but society is mostly guys asking the girls out... and if the girl asks the guy out, it would basically imply that the girl is interested in the guy. If you think about it, by talking to someone, not only a sentences, but to actually have a good long conversation and feeling of connection with them, there has to be some sense of feeling for one another. I know that if I definitely didn't like someone, I wouldn't have a long conversation with them... or hang out with them.

  • It may be your approach. Maybe you come on too strong and should make things sound more casual. Instead of asking a girl out to coffee, don't ask her formally. Say: Hey I'm going to be at the bla bla bla coffee shop studying, you should come by and bring a book. We can get some work done. Then slowly through a really unintimidating friendship work ur way in her life.

    Also its a number game. ask as many girls out as you can to get some results lol.

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What Guys Said 6

  • Since this is a duplicate question, I'll post the same advice: It's because you have no idea how attraction works. Check out my blog for some good links and some advice that could help you get started. link

    Second, make sure you're smiling when you go out. Women are already intimidated by guys to start with. If you're built then it's that much more of a problem, so make sure you're smiling. In fact, start smiling so much that it gets you blown out and then dial it down from there. That's the best rule of thumb for ALL social calibration actually: go over the top then back it down little by little.

    Third, make sure you're not being outcome dependent. If you are then you'll come across as insecure or needy.

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    • I read you blog, its some good advice, but you say women don't approach guys, oh I mean hot women, nope that's not true, I have been approached by hot women. All that really matters is how you carry yourself, if you walk in a club/bar like you own it, not a care in the world bam women will pick up on that confidence and good things will happen. Dating is really not that complicated if you know what your doing.

    • By and large most men are not approached very often. You seem to be ahead of the curve if you are being approached, which you're right about walking in like you own the place. However, that's only one small piece of the puzzle with regard to generating attraction.

  • No I wouldn't say there's something wrong with you I am in the same boat you are in there buddy, life steers us down different paths sometimes what we want isn’t what we are ready for now on the opposite hand sometimes girls want only to have fun, especially in college I can't say how many times I have heard the phrase I don’t want to be tied down , they might see you as a great guy who knows what he wants to a point where it may lead to some thing serious, if you look around and see girls with guys, then a lot of them are with a guy to which they both know they won't be with forever, now if you look with the intent to find love birds that have dated for 4 years + then yes you will find them because your looking specifically for them you must look at the whole picture, patience is all but a virtue one can only keep trying until he has asked all the girls of the world then he can complain.

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  • Because you have no idea how attraction works. Check out my blog for some good links and some advice that could help you get started. link

    Second, make sure you're smiling when you go out. Women are already intimidated by guys to start with. If you're built then it's that much more of a problem, so make sure you're smiling. In fact, start smiling so much that it gets you blown out and then dial it down from there. That's the best rule of thumb for ALL social calibration actually: go over the top then back it down little by little.

    Third, make sure you're not being outcome dependent. If you are then you'll come across as insecure or needy.

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  • Man you must be saying something wrong to them or creeping them out. You not too old hell I'm 25 and I've been with women from ages 18-36. So age is not really a factor there. I need some more info on how you approach them, and what you say to them, cause man something is wrong here. Especially with the girl that started wearing a ring all of a sudden.

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  • dude, I feel for ya, its a known fact that women give to the greedy and not the needy. sadly, by the time a wakes up and takes you seriously, she has too much baggage of her ow, and then you can return the favor and brush her off, its not happiness, but revenge has its own rewards!

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  • i know your expecting a girl to awnser this but my boy I have the same problem.

    I supposedly look quite 'bad' and I do bad things--i find it hard to get girls to do things(I myself am quite good looking!) they come up with lame excuses as well but its not like I don't see them at all, guess being a bad guy means your never realy going to get a serious girlfriend because they jus ain't down for the same shit. you need to find yourself a S-L-U-T for the meantime my friend!

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