I'm insanely jealous of people who get to be in relationships with people they really like?

I've always had to date people that I had to build up my interest in and kind of play along with. I'm so jealous that most of my friends get to date people they are attracted to and enjoy the company of. I know I'm not as good as they are, so I'm going to have to stick with the "building someone up" style of dating. How can I stop being unhappy about not getting someone I feel strong chemistry with, even if I know I don't deserve it?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Whoa...just this week I was wondering about this for myself in a way. Not to sound like whatever, but I don't really have a problem attracting or talking to people that I'm not attracted to, but I seem to be ignored or non-existent to the people that I am attracted to. I can't help but feel like I'm the one that's doing something wrong. Maybe I have too high of standards? Maybe I'm too reserved for their tastes? Maybe they assume things about me from how I act? Maybe they don't pay attention to someone they will only see once? Who knows man.

    "people who get to be in relationships with people they really like"...that's what stood out to me, because I wondered the exact same thing to myself. Like, what do I have to do? Am I shooting too high or what? Those were rhetorical questions by the way.


What Guys Said 3

  • This is probably how 80% of humanity feels.

    • So what are the tips?! Or are you in the lucky 20%? :P

  • If you are one of those girls that never talks to guys, and just waits for them all the time. I see no reason for you to complain.

    Otherwise your maybe flirting or sending the wrong signals to guys you don't like.

  • I don't think you have to stick with the "building someone up" style of dating. It really just sounds like you haven't found the right person yet and you're settling. You shouldn't; you deserve to be with someone you're attracted to (and vice-versa).

    You know, if you don't like the person you're with, you don't have to wait and "play along." Because not only are you keeping yourself from finding somebody you're attracted to, you're possibly keeping the guy from meeting a girl who doesn't have to play along!


What Girls Said 1

  • Can't you go after what you want too?

    • You can go after anything you want, but our flaws fence us in. There is no denying it.

    • But maybe you're too focused on your flaws and no one else notices except you.

    • If it wasn't for the flaws, you'd be with the people you wanted to be, instead of the people who you didn't feel anything for.