How can you tell if a guy actually loves you?

I'm an insecure girl due to my previous relation ship. I was dating a guy I met at a party, we went to different schools. Point is, he would tell me that he loved me, but I found out that he didn't really feel that way for me. Now that I'm dating a really nice guy, he tells me that's he never felt this way for any girl. I talk to his ex, they dated for two years and he never told her he loved her. Me and him had been dating for 4 months and a half before we broke up. The reason I broke up with him is because he's very friendly with girls. Always wanting to be a gentleman. My friends say its a problem. Now he says he really misses me and that he still loves me. How can I tell if he really loves me ? And what do I do about his friendly-ness ?


Most Helpful Guy

  • How does he look at you ? That's the first question you should ask yourself. The best indicator of a true love-like feeling are those random looks we sometimes give and then shrug off slightly embarassed. If he has to refrain a smile when he watches you perform the most basic task, if form a moment he just feels the need to stare into your eyes... That is how you know if he loves you, words are cheap, and actions are for the most unreliable, looks betray thoughts.

    Secondly, his frendliness towards girls seems strange, was alcohol involved in those stories ? Were these girls aware he wasn't single ? At any rate these actions don't mean anything about how he feels, they only describe how he acts EVEN WHEN he feels. Therefore you could try to change him, or accept that you don't like him, if even in love he can't resist other girls then that's a character flaw and it's up to you to decide wether it's bearable or not.


What Guys Said 2

  • 1. he looks you in the eyes and says it

    2. you can make him cry very easily.

    3. He's actually making an effort to get with you.

    4. you can tell he means it, with a sincerity in his voice.

    5. he still asks about your day, how you've been doing; shows interest

    Maybe he's just that type of guy? The type that is just generally nice to women? Maybe it's you that screwed up, not him.

    If you personally seen him kiss/ screw another girl, that's a good reason to leave.

    ASSuming is called that because they make an ass out of you and an ass out of them.

  • What do you mean he's friendly with other girls? He's talking to them on the phone and texting them? Or flirting with them in front of you? If is it any of those things then he's bad news, forget about him. Move on. He's a player.


What Girls Said 3

  • friendly? I saw a comment where you said two of his friends kissed him...That isn't even considered friendly..that's flirty/cheating. I would tell him thatb if he supposidly loves you, then he needs to change his "friendliness". If he doesn't understand why you say that...ask him "How would you feel if my guy friends kissed me..and etc" I use this all the time with my boyfriend...And he seems to understand and change his actions right awaty. Good luck.

  • If I were you I would take him back. Just tell him that he has to change before you will take him back. I know exactly what you mean! The guy that I really really like though we're not dating, he knows I like him and I think he likes me and he always tells other girls that they're pretty and stuff but he tells me I am too and will say something like "Oh she's hot" when someone mentions a celebrity. I know I don't have the right to be mad because we're not dating but it really hurts me when he does it right in front of me! Even when we hang out alone, he says that about people on tv. He was saying the one night he had a party, how this one drunk girl at the party had asked him to have sex and he said no because she's probably got STD's or something. But he told her he didn't want to take advantage of her. But it seemed like if she were less drunk or didn't have a "poisonous vagina" he would have done it anyway.

    • Haha, but I sorta think that's the way he is, would you think its fine to let a guy change for me ?

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    • hmm I'm not sure then. If he told you about it and didn't try hiding it and said they kissed him and he pushed them away, then he was probably not cheating. Just tell him that his behavior has to change. that's the ultimatum

    • To emilyzenella: Regardless, if you and him like each other, he shouldn't act that way. That comes to show...will he act that way when you are together? If he's interested in you, he should only be interested in you. Even if you are taking it slow or what ever.

  • I'd love to see the guys' answers on this. I think, if he truly loved you, he would find a way to proove it ;)

    • Aha me too :P but what if what he says nd does are jus lies :/ ?

    • It's hard for me to trust a guy, considering my precious relationship, but you never really know unless you try. ;)