Receding hair..how to deal with comments when I shave/buzz it this summer ? confidence isn't my strong point

I have a receding hairline kinda like Daniel Day Lewis yet I'm only 20. I'm thinking of just saying f*** it and get used to having shaved head...the only problem is I'm quite sensitive to remarks, and the fact that I've always had long shaggy hair (don't even look balding to most people) will mean that I will get a lot comments. My self-esteem is bad enough, and I often use my hair to hide beneath (like Michael Stipe said when he did the same) - so having to cut it although frustrating is ultimately needed,

nonetheless I'm worried. I'm naturally shy, and although I've been told I am attractive by some girls, the whole confidence factor (trying to deal with it) means I'm not very succesful. now I worry that receding hairline is going to make things even worse.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I started losing my hair at 20 and it started with a big old bald spot in the back. I'm 26 now and it's grown consistently every year. I'll tell you what I've found to be true and not true in these 6 years.

    When it comes down to it, if a girl is interested in talking to you for some other reason, balding (yes, just say it, you're balding) isn't going to cancel it out. Some girls find it very unattractive, but face it, you probably wouldn't be with ones that shallow and superficial anyway, right? And I have had 2 girlfriends tell me specifically that they liked my head/hair. For many women it's a sign of virility, as it should be - it generally results from the presence of excess testosterone breaking down hair follicles. Bald guys generally are more potent.

    Let's clear something else up too - being partially bald isn't in itself unattractive. However, baldING is unattractive. Your instincts are correct - either shave it all off or keep it really, really short. I trim my beard and my hair with the same trimmer on the same setting. In 6 years, only one person has ever made a joke about my hair, and it was a guy who was jealous of me for many, many other reasons.

    You guessed it. It's about confidence. That's why you see fat guys out there with girls - they learned how to talk to girls to make themselves seem desirable. Basically, shave it off/way down and forget about it. The fact is that NO ONE cares about it even 1% as much as you do. The less you care about it, the better off you'll be.

    I'm also learning that guys like us are dodging a bullet - we're not going to have some BS midlife crisis at 42 when other guys start noticing themselves losing it. We're already dealing with it now basically at the tail end of adolescence so we're getting rid of the anxiety along with pimples and virginity and that other awkward stuff. Really, it's a blessing in the long run.

    Just be your own man and do what you want. That's what attracts women.

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    • The confidence thing is an issue right now. I'm getting better, but still I'm worried that if I "reveal" my balding hair (i've always been known for hair) it'll just become another obstacle in the way of me accepting myself for who I am, as well as draw more attetion to other physical insecurities I have (most notably my rosy cheeks) I'll try not to let it get me too bogged down after all it is only hair! the last point is so true. thanks for your advice. I'll try to remember and learn from this

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    • You could have horns and a tail and a plaid scalp and you'd meet women who think it's sexy.

      The other thing is that everyone else is so wrapped up in their own insecurities they're not really focusing on your hairline.

    • i find myself agreeing with this guys contributions often. this one is 100% dead on target.

What Girls Said 7

  • I don't know I think receding hairline is pretty sexy on men. and what is more sexier is when they shave/buzz it all off. :)

    I shaved my hair a couple of times, of course I a girl, and I got a lot of negative comments, but I don't think you would get negative comments on buzzing your hair off.

    I think you should buzz your hair off to help you get out of your skin a little bit and allow you to gain confidence. you are only 20 years old and have yet to learn a lot about this world and it's okay if you are not confident because nobody at 20 is that confident that you think. people have learned to hide their fears and tackle them to learn something about themselves.

    :)

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  • receding hair is not a problem for a guy but low self-esteem surely is a huge problem.

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    • for sure, but I'm working on that...I guess I worry that if it recedes more it'll be another blow.

    • this is the most true and effective answer to this question

  • Receding hair at a young age is a sensitive issue for guys.I understand you would feel concerned.

    Dont shave it and I wouldn't keep it long either,this will only highlight the receding factor.

    Wear it short and accept yourself.Confidence pulls women not hairlines.

    Some girls want be into you for many reasons..even your hairline but somebody lovely will come along who doesn't give a toss ..,maybe she will have something about her body she not happy with...most of us do

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  • if they say anything just say you are trying a new look. renarks don't have to be negative though, a lot of girls might just like see you even more, :).

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  • My little brother is dealing with the same thing and he is only 17! He finally buzzed his head and he wasn't sure about it at first but it looks good and he seems to feel better about it, it's not as obvious.

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  • Personally I think you can make it look worse trying to cover up the fact that you are balding. I recommend shaving the head. And its not a big deal a lot of girls don't really care as long as you don't sport a combover etc

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  • If you aren't confident enough to leave it the way it is, just shave it off. A shaved head looks much better than a receding hairline.

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    • the thing is I have it medium/long - you can't really see it. but I take on board that option.

What Guys Said 5

  • Being in good shape with a close buzzed head has got me WAY more girls than any other style/time in my life. It just says simplicity, utilitarian, man's man. Now if you like the girls that go for the girlie metro guys then you may have a problem. But girls that go for masculine men, you should not have many problems. Confidence is what YOU need to be most concerned with conquering and I am sure that you will.

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  • Get in good shape...that's a confidence booster. So if you're feeling insecure about your hairloss...you can get in great shape - or maybe become a wiz at work or in school.

    At the end of the day the balding thing matters only to some women. I'm only 5'7". I'd rather be 6'2" and bald than 5'7" with a full head of hair...the grass is always greener.

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    • I am quite broad shouldered and due to climbing a lot have a good physique...I think the main obstacle is not so much the hair, but my wavering confidence levels. I fear that biting the bullet and accepting that I can't have this long hair will further knock my confidence with the ladies. Particularly since I genetically have rosy complexion which will be even more noticable.

  • Wow you sound like me...

    Mine's thinning and receding so much and I'm only 17 =\... When the wind blows it's like wtf, there's no hair there. But it's not noticeable yet.. (Without wind).. I was just going to get a hat when it's time to shave it all off.

    Some people look good bald, depending on bone structure.

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  • That's what I did when I was about 24, went from really long hair to shaved, for the reason given.

    Nobody said anything. Almost 20 years later, I've started to let it grow, turns out I didn't go bald right away after all.

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  • I started losing my hair when I was 25, a year later I took a razor blade to it. Looks pretty good.

    Try shaving your head at least once. If you have a good skull shape it should be ok.

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