Why does it seem like I only attract the guys who want to hook up?

I'm 21 and have never had a boyfriend or serious relationship. I would love to have one but It seems to me every time I give my number to a guy he always ends up texting me about sex and hooking up.

They do not want to date or any type of relationship. It seems like this is with any guy I run into. Is there a vipe that girls set off with saying "hook up" I do not dress inappropriate, I'm sweet and independant. Is there something I can do that would help me find the guys looking for a relationship? Am I doing something wrong? Please help, any advice would be great.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm in a situation that's very similar to yours. My advice would be to pursue the kinds of guys YOU want to date. Guys who you think would be a good match and aren't such blatantly obvious horny bastards. Think about it -- instead of waiting around for guys to get your number and ask you out, why not turn the tables and find guys who seem more subtle, shy, less intrusive and give them a chance to shine?

    Good luck. :)

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    • That's what I'm gonna do! I don't give the shy guys a chance because I am shy myself so I tend to go for the more loud mouth, guys who are all about themselves. I think I figured out the issue ha ha thank you!

    • You're welcome. Man, we are too alike haha. I've had that drilled into my head too so I figured I'd share it with someone else, and it really does make sense. :)

What Guys Said 3

  • Sometimes even if a guy talks sex, he may still want a relationship. Maybe its just been a while for him. As for finding out what a guy wants, make him wait. If he sticks around with nothing more than kissing for a month or two then he is DEFINITELY interested in more than just sex.

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  • I'm guessing that, like many people, you base who to give things to on shallow reasons. Or maybe you're going to the wrong places. That generally seems to be the case. If you're going to clubs, bars, parties, etc and expecting to find a quality guy there, that's a good joke, but not gonna happen.

    Where are you giving guys your numbers? What kind of guys are you giving them to? What is basing your decision to give them your number? If you're basing it off shallow things like "omg he's so hot" then you're going to find the "omg assholes"

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    • hahaha, well I try not to go for the "omg assholes" but a lot of times like I had a guy ask me for my number when I was getting a sticker on my car and he worked at the place, we talked for about an hour and exchanged numbers. later that night he texted me saying sexual things so I deleted his number. A few other times have been at my job and they where customers. I base me giving my number to them off there personality which evidentually I have poor judgment.

    • Ya, the assholes are generally the ones who are willing to talk and ask someone out so easily lol. Sometimes the shy guys who are good guys work up the courage, but ya.. it's not easy.

      Just keep giving chances and given enough time everyone shows their true colors.

  • well I want a relationship over a hook-up, but I would take a hook-up just to get the monkey off my back, at least you don't have to initiate anything

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What Girls Said 1

  • Unfortunately that's just typical of the age group right now. It's most likely not you, it's just how they've learned to operate. Often though, if he can be a relationship type guy, he won't come on too strong sexually. And if you make it clear that's not what you're after (by not biting at the convo or agreeing to late night meet ups), he'll stop with the sex talk and start being more serious. There are some guys though that just do not want a relationship period, so they'll run if you're not down for hooking up straight away. Don't be concerned, it's not you. You're not doing anything wrong. It's him. Best thing you can do is give them a chance to change when they see that you're not looking for a hookup, and observe how they act. Some will change, some won't.

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