Anyone here thought they were an ugly duckling, but you were in actual fact a beautiful swan?

Let's say you've lived most of your life believing you were completely and utterly un-attractive. What if you have never made a move on anyone because you always though you would have been turned down. And you always used to put your head down and never make eye contact with people. So you never noticed what was going on around you. You were too shy and afraid to ask anyone out. And on the odd occasion you dared to make eye contact and smile at a girl, they would just put their heads, so you never bothered to do anything like that.

And then, one day, you actually noticed that people of the other sex paid you a lot of attention, even people of the same sex. You could be just out for a walk and you notice that most groups of young girls watch you walk by. Or you see an insecure partner being reassured as you walk past them. Or say you're in a supermarket and you notice women in there giving the odd smile as you walk past. I'm not saying every person does this, but those that do are usually the really attractive ones.

What if it dawns on you that all the people you have asked out probably felt threatened by this, but you were totally unaware and so did nothing to reassure them that you weren't like that.

What if you still felt totally insecure after witnessing all the attention you actually get.

Has anyone found themselves in this situation, and if so, what did you do?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • When I was younger I wouldn't say I was the prettiest or had the best body. Most of my friends always had guys bending over backwards to date them, take them out, flirt. I never got asked to dance at school dances, but I always had lots of friends, I was the "funny" friend. People like to be around me guys and girls cause I was fun, good sense of humor. As I got older I experimented wtih different styles, hair color etc.. and finally had some long term bf's. What I notice now... is I am aging REALLY well. I have never felt or looked better. I see men looking at me, and my gf's that use to get ALL THE boys when we were younger are now telling me how incredible I look. Its a great feeling! I have learned that not everyone gets their moment to shine at the same time. Some in highschool, early 20's or 30's. But we all get our chance and to embrace it when it comes. This I have learned.

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    • Thank you so much Ribbon. I've noticed myself ageing really well myself. When I look at my peers and I see they are no longer stunning like they used to be.

      I absolutely love your ethos about not everyone getting their moment to shine at the same time. I will take that to heart, and I will embrace it. That is such a lovely way of thinking. I guess my season to bloom has arrived, and I shall flower like there is no tommorow.

      Thank you.

What Girls Said 2

  • I'm 46 and I spent most of life in the shadow of my younger sister who everyone thought was beautiful. I never got asked to dances and didn't date very much. It wasn't until about 10 years ago that I noticed that guys were always around me. I also began noticing that women would compliment me. I was told that I was very pretty, had a magnetic personality, and was cool. However, I still wasn't asked out much. The guy that I am seeing right now said that I can be intimidating because I am independent, confident, and know what I want (I am not pushy or clingy - I just kinda go with the flow). It was kind of a weird experience. It seemed like it happened almost overnight, but I think the stuff that I have been through in my life made me evolve into the person I am now. It just took ME awhile to notice. Oh, and I still have insecurities about stuff from time to time. I think we all do to some degree.

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    • Yes, I know what you mean about the overnight thing. And it's really strange, as one girl leaves because I don't really make a go of it as I'm just not confident enough, there always seems to be another to start to want to go places. I was also speaking to a good friend on FB last night, and she was really laughing at me, saying I had missed quite a few opportunities that were quite forward by the girls. I best start accepting it, otherwise it will be a waste. Thanks.

    • Iam right there with fiesty pumpkin, I too grew upin the shadow of my younger sister. And to this day she still thinks that she is the most beautiful women out there. But beauty is only skin deep. It is what on the inside that makes a women beautiful. To this day I still think I am a ugly duckling , but all my friends and others tell me no your not, its hard to believe your beatuiful on the outside when you have low self esteem. A lot of my guy friends think I look hot for my age but I don't .

  • i was lining up in a check out line with my friend once and I was telling her I wanted a tattoo of a butterfly, and I told her the reason for that is because I think they are really proud and show their true colours, and my friend goes " yeah, it could also be like the ugly duckling story" I was so shocked she said this and stood there like this :O for a few moments before she goes :it means I think you're pretty now" lol. I was like thanks. I do get complimented a lot, but by mostly older men... :/

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