How do I accept I'm ugly?

I've been struggling with my appearance for a long time and it just isn't getting better. I wear make-up, I work out, and yet I still don't get more attractive.

What I really want to do is just accept being unattractive and start getting rid of the false hope that I'll ever have a family. But whenever I start making head-way, and start feeling good about my progress, my friends yell at me for "having low self-esteem."

But it's NOT low self-esteem, I really AM ugly. Guys never hit on me, and my last two boyfriends dumped me for being ugly. Really... they flat out told me I was.

So how do I just accept it and deal with it, especially when my friends and people around me scold me for not being "confident?"


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Most Helpful Girl



  • My friends scold me for having low confidence also so I don't talk about my appearance anymore to them...instead I brought this journal and I began to write about it. Personally, it helps me a lot. I highly doubt that your ugly ----your boyfriends we're obviously jerks who just wanted to hurt you. Why would they be with you if they felt very unattractive to you in the first place. And even if they weren't ...i don't think any great guy would flat out admit it. They were jerks.

    No one is ugly ---no one is flawless . You can still have a family.

    I write a list of things I want to change about myself ---and I work on everything individually.

    It helps because I really get in focus on changing things to help me get comfortable with being me.

    (Also, if you don't wear the right make-up or apply in a way that suits you, it can actually make your appearance worse. I rarely wear it but my friend is pretty --thought she was ugly--wore make up and it made her look worse). What don't you like about yourself?

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What Guys Said 7

  • I think you are not giving yourself enough credit. I suggest you not accept it. I will give you 2 very true stories. 1) In college, I got up the nerve to ask out the most drop dead gorgeous girl on campus. She was sexy, beautiful and everyone on campus knew she was # 1. I am just average looking, but she said yes. Her personality turned out to be terrible. I learned 2 lessons-- you don't have to be beautiful to get dates with those that are beautiful and beauty really is skin deep.

    2) I worked with a very, very homely girl. However, she wore perfect makeup and out-dressed her female colleagues. She worked out every day. She was smart and was extremely competent. Her opinion was well respected with management. She was friendly, had a great smile and was always willing to help. She was self confident without being egotistical. As a result, she just looked better than she looked. Everyone was always happy to see her coming down the hallway (especially the guys).

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  • Well, you could always go out of your way to make physical changes.

    What I've found is that it takes a very distinctive physical deformity in a thin girl to make her completely unattractive.

    So unless she's overweight, to doesn't take much to fix what's wrong.

    Noses, eyes, teeth, chin, neck, those are the most common features that can be subject to unsightly flaws. And they're actually altered relatively easily, with the exception of the nose and teeth. Those are a fair bit more difficult. But even then, unfavorable features can be adorned to look better.

    So realistically, you're probably not as "ugly" as you think. Maybe you just need to move your physical appearance a little higher up on your priority list.

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  • Your boyfriends were most likely d***s, and if you feel ugly, then you need a style change that reflects more what you want to look like. (In theory, anyways - I know it costs a fortune.)

    You're possibly not ugly. Or at least, I have the benefit of doubt. You can always attempt to prove me wrong, if you want. :P

    ((Sidenote: I used to believe people disliked me for my exterior, but in reality, I just have a few personality traits that are universally a dealbreaker one by one for each and every person. It's quite bothersome, really. Lack of confidence, lack of sociability, lack of... whatever. I don't even know, they never listed it, haha.))

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  • The things a girl dose that makes guys think they arnt attractive is low self worth.. Low self asteam and no confidence

    Your never ugly.. Guys still must like you but if you don't like yourself then they have no way to disagree..

    Never look at a cover of a book and think you know it.. Its what's inside that matters.. True?

    I don't know you but I have never thought any girl is ugly..

    Just lost in her own hopelessness

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  • tell the world to go F themselves and be a beautiful person anyway. I am sure you are pretty but just don't have confidence in yourself...personally I go for someone with personality..that is the most important to me.

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  • Focus on being rich or powerful.

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  • Think of it this way, if you don't accept it and move on then you're just going to dig the hole deeper for yourself when you do decide to move on.

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What Girls Said 6

  • You dont. You put effort in.

    Wearing a bit of makeup will not kill you, but it will bring out some of your natural features, and I bet you will feel at least a little better wearing it.

    I doubt they dumped you for being ugly, if anything, it was due to your complete lack of effort in trying to make yourself look and feel sexy, but instead you have a defeatist attitude. Chances are, they complimented you, and you tried to prove them wrong and they gave up.

    So, you need to put some effort into yourself and stop being a quitter. Just suck it up, go shopping, and buy some cute things.

    As far as the gym goes, do some weight training with cardio and abs. I do the same thing, I haven't bulked up, and I noticed a great change.

    Just suck it up and put some effort out there.

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  • I don't know if it's something you can fully be allowed to accept in modern society, at least not in the US. I have been trying with little luck. I agree with one of the other girls comments and think it helps not to discuss it to other people. I try not to discuss the way I see myself with others. People who care about me always try and build me up and when I give in and start believing them I end up getting let down and hurting even more. We place so much value on being good looking that it is a really difficult to accept being average or ugly. I think a lot of people come to accept that beauty can be viewed in many ways and then just focus on their unconventional beauty and can then forget about their other ugliness. Like if they are great at art or a good friend they can feel good about that and compensate for their physical downfalls.

    I am sure there are people out there who do or will see beauty in you where others have not. Based on some of the guys I have seen friends dating their definition of attractive is at times far from mine. Everyone sees the world differently.

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  • why the dramatics? lady gaga is a f***ing moose but you don't see her crying about it. we all have our difficulties darling but if you're going to bring yourself down then no-else is going to offer to carry you. you workout for your body's health, not to be attractive. you wear make up to even-out skin tone and to enhance the bits you like, not to be beautiful so just accept this is the card you've been dealt and maybe go shopping to celebrate your acceptance of it.

    "my last two boyfriends dumped me for being ugly" that says a lot more about them: that they could go out with you in the first place but not come up with a good enough reason to dump you other than to hurt your feelings in the worst way they knew how.

    lighten up sister, life is long and it'll be unhappy if you can't pick yourself up and say f*** it, this is me ;0)

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  • Wait...if you are so ugly, why did your 2 previous boyfriends ever go out with you in the first place? If they were so shallow that they would break up with you because you were "ugly," they would never have gone out with you in the first place.

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  • Buy cute clothes , and make sure you get a good job ...money makes some people look pretty ...you will feel much better about yourself.

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  • :-(

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