How to handle this office affair?

I am 42 and currently married and seeking a divorce (23 years married) I am having a "Fun sexual relationship" with a 26 year old, in a relationship co-worker. He swear that he loves his girlfriend and I know that this is not true. I am getting attached, he always says this is not a relationship. how to handle and I want to be a bigger part of his life. But how? Also should I?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I've been in your shoes, and it didn't turn out well. If he is vocalizing that he loves his girlfriend, believe him. He is using you for fun and excitement. I know you are longing for that right now as well, but I advise you to break ties. Maybe you are worried that you can't/ won't find anyone else? That's how I felt so I continued on with the affair even though I knew it was wrong. There is NOTHING quite like the pain of an affair gone bad. Being in a 23 year marriage and now finding someone that makes you feel alive again is the best feeling ever, but that feeling won't last with a person that is already committed in another relationship. People told me to get away from the married man. They warned me over and over again, but I needed to learn for myself and it was one of the hardest lessons learned. Try and get yourself out and about and look for someone single. It's scary because of our age, but you will find someone that you won't have to share. Good luck to you and believe me when I tell you that I understand what you're going through. I hope you can be stronger than I was. Please keep us posted.

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What Guys Said 4

  • How long have you been "seeking a divorce" and why do you want to be the other hoe...

    Whats worse they is plenty young single guys who would love a sexual relationship with a 42 year old women and why turnish some poor girl.

    Imagine how she would feel when she finds out he cheated with a 42 year old...

    Get divorced first, leave this guy and his girlfriend alone and start having fun...

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  • A few thoughts:

    If you're married, I don't think you should be having sex with anyone other than your husband. Don't care if you're separated. Don't care if you're divorcing.

    You DO NOT know what's in ANYONE's head or heart.

    I think you should stop the affair with your coworker.

    You need some counseling and therapy to figure out why you're always creating drama.

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  • "he always says this is not a relationship"

    to be honest, I wouldnt

    date a 42 year old. but id

    do her. I know a lot of

    guys that would

    do older women for

    kicks, not for a relationship.

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  • You're not getting attached; that's not true. Keep it where it belongs; a fun, sexual relationship.

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What Girls Said 4

  • How far along have you gotten in your divorce. The reason I say this is because you should really work all the divorce stuff out before you start up a relationship. Seeing as it's too late since you've already had the affair I would say that you should put the brakes on and slow it down. Say you do start something with him. What makes you think he wouldn't want to have an affair on you? How would that make you feel. Not only that but he may not love his girlfriend, but he doesn't love you either. If he did he wouldn't have his girlfriend still and he wouldn't remind you of how it's not a relationship.Friends with benefits only works if both people are on the same page.

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  • If he says he loves his girlfriend.he "loves" his girlfriend! He is having sex with you to have fun.and excitement.but there is no relationship btw you two. Look at the situation realistically, your 42 and he's 26? Think about it my dear and tell him that you enjoyed it.and move on!

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  • Well, I can only tell you from experience, MOVE ON and MOVE ON FAST, I just ended a terrible affair with a much younger guy too and its about killing me right now if I had of known this pain I never would have started anything with him to begin with!.If I were you run, run fast, reason being, it will not work out, he's already telling you that there is no relationship that's your first clue, second, your going through enough right now as it is, do you really need more drama, this will only add to your pain.Take it from me unless you and the younger guy have totally explained to each other what it is your doing with each other then I would say."RUN".Just some advice from someone that was just in your shoes!

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  • You're 42 and was screwing around with a boy who has a gf?

    Have you ever thought about how she would feel at all?

    GROW UP, will you?

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