Do all parents think their children are beautiful?

I suffer from extreme low self esteem- where sometimes I never leave my room for a whole day because I get depressed.

I have issues with body image as I imagine myself to be plain or unattractive to men since I had no serious boyfriend or guy friends.

In college, couple of guys will move and sit next to me in class or look at me in the hallways but I've always dismissed their behavior as a coincidence since they never really talk to me even if they sit near me. I rarely get approached or hit on by men in public, the only ones that do are old enough to be my grandpa or father and they usually just ask me for direction on public transport.

My mother says that I'm attractive many times ( as well as my other siblings), but I simply won't believe her because I never feel assured of my attractiveness. She goes as far as to say that I should be dating and seducing some rich man instead of looking to date guys my age ( I'm 22, btw). My sister says that I shouldn't be single and I should be out with a handsome boyfriend every weekend when I'm home.

I don't know why guys don't easily approach me at school... Sometimes I get the feeling like I'm quite intimidating to guys and sometimes I feel like I'm not so attractive enough for guys to actually get over their fears of approaching me.

I'm reluctant to go out these days and enjoy the summertime because of my insecurities and I feel worse about myself when I see gleeful couples holding hands and eating ice cream together outside...

How easy do pretty girls have it with guys, I wonder sometimes...

Are random guys in their age range more likely to flirt with them when they are out? Or do they have it just as bad as average looking girls? I don't know if I'm pretty or average looking and that is a huge issue for me because or I was certain I was pretty enough, I would probably be more outgoing and flirty towards guys...i view myself as average looking and nothing special and that if I were to approach guys, they wouldn't welcome it at all and I would just be making a fool out of myself and them.

The only guy who I had romantic relations with actually broke up with me about 2 years ago... We started a long distance type relationship thing and he told me he was initially intimidated to approach me.

So help me people, I don't know what to make of this situation and I'm really depressed and hopeless...im at an age where I should start dating, ( other people are pressuring me to find a boyfriend) but I don't know how to perk myself up...

:(

Updates:
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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think your problem with guys is being unattractive, but more with confidence. you have to work on your self'esteem or you'll never go anywhere. I think that the real reason you haven´t had a boyfriend is because you don't even try. you have to stpo waiting for them to come to you. go to them! talk to them, flirt and stop depressing yourself for such a stupid thing. You are who you are, you have to learn to live with that. Improve it if you can, but if you can't...well, then why suffer for something you cannot change? I don't think you´re that ugly. (Which I don't know since you didn't include a picture) but believe me, no matter how attractive you may be, if you don't have confidence, you will not look attractive. }

    Don't care to much about what others think, and if you do something to improve yourself (new haircut, work out, etc.) do it for you, not for the guys or those you want to think of you as someone attractive.

    And to answer your question...yes. every parent sees their children as beautiful. but it doesn't mean you are not. I don't think it is a coincidence that guys stare at you and try to approach you.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I can totally relate. I have depression too and I've become a total recluse these days. I don't know if I'm average, ugly, handsome either but I'm working on that though. I try to eat right and I exercise and lift weights every day. I know I have a good personality but I want a nice body to go with it.

    Are you seeing a doctor or a therapist? I know it sucks but that's the only way out. You can't do it alone. I tried to for so long and it just wore me out. I know how it is when you're depressed, it's like you can't do anything for yourself. My parents were kind enough to drag me out to the doctor's and get me some help. They've been really supportive and I'm totally grateful for it. Hopefully your's are too but if not you just got to find the will to make the call and set up an appointment.

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    • Yes, actually I visited the university counseling center, and they told me to make an appt with th renfrew center or just a general psychologist ( I was diagnosed with borderline BDD). My parents won't let me get therapy, though... And they think I'm just being lazy and selfish... And I cannot understand them at all.

    • Wow that really sucks. Parents should be supportive and understanding. I hope you can either convince them. Or at least go to therapy without them knowing.

      I was going to counselling at my university too. They have a free program where you could get counselling from post-grad psych students. It's great because psychologists are expensive . Maybe look for a psychiatrist because they can help too and it's covered by OHIP.

  • Yes. If they don't, there's something seriously wrong about them.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Hey =)

    First off, I feel that I'd better tell you the truth about when parents/family say that you're attractive. It can honestly be truthful sometimes, by in my experience it never was. Their unconditional love tends to make them a little blind to the truth at times. Maybe in your case they are being honest, but just don't necessarily take it for granted. Gain the confidence that you need from within.

    So, what do you mean by intimidating? As in your body language makes you look unapproachable? Honestly, that might be your biggest problem. The way you wear yourself regarding body language and confidence plays a HUGE role. Offer some more details if you can about that part. :)

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  • I think my mom means it when she says I'm beautiful because everyone says I look like her, lol.

    All my other family members tell me I'm weird looking, though. I'm the ONLY girl in my family without blond hair, blue eyes, and big boobs. Even my 13 year old cousin fits that mold, but I don't.

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  • normal parents do as you are their creation and what they brought in to the world BUT I think every1 is beautiful and a lot of people think so you will find someone trust me :) listen to the song born this way it always makes me feel better

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  • pffft, girl I've been called pretty, hot, beautiful, attractive and I've never had a relationship with a guy. I've only had TWO guys my whole life tell me they like me. I often get stared at (just like you) and NEVER get approached. The only times guys will flirt with me is if they're already my friends, other than that guys never initiate anything. I think it has more to do with the way we present ourselves. I use to feel like I HAD to have a boyfriend because everyone around me had one, but then I got over it. Learn to love yourself, you're the only one you really have. Once you gain some confidence you'll be able to initiate more. Good luck.

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