How come to be attractive, you have to act like everyone else?

why do you have to act like guys that are "trynna" be all "hard" and "gangsta?" I thought being yourself was the most attractive thing, if being yourself means acting like everyone else and using hip terms and phrases and being as trendy and possible.

to be attractive you have to be typical. to get attention you have to be typical. actually being yourself doesn't do much for you in attracting a girl. impulsive guys that make stupid decisions and don't even care about the consequences of their actions get all the glory in society, while being smart, who acts entirely on his own (not trying to be cool) and showing a little class and trying to actually live by a higher moral standard gets a guy nowhere.

explain?

Updates:
i also find it stupid, how guys are literally expected to go out and display womanizing traits or that just because he's pursuing a girl, he automatically wants sex, or is bad news in general. but the guys that completely aren't even like that are the guys that are usually considered creepy or nerds or both. and for some reason girls things bad guys are good and safe to be around and good guys are completely bad news for some odd, unknown reason.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Being yourself isn't the most attractive thing unless the person likes you.

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    • but you won't argue that most guys that attract girls pretty much act similarly or even the same way, right? at least a lot of them. but what if a girl doesn't like the way you really are and the way you really act because you aren't acting cool?

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    • but what if a girl doesn't like the way you really are and the way you really act because you aren't acting cool?

      That girl didn't like you but liked when you became what she did like.

      Just like a guy not liking brunettes but liking a girl when dyes her hair.

    • So your point is that what most girls find attractive is similar and you don't fit into that so you're upset you'll have to change to be attractive?

      My answer: Being yourself isn't the most attractive thing unless the person likes you.

What Girls Said 2

  • I don't know what you're talking about it. I like guys how they are. Whether he spends all his time playing video games/being inside or all his time playing sports/being outside. Has a dog or has a hamster. Likes photography & poetry or likes to hunt. Is intellectual or not. Is country/rural or a city slicker. Be yourself. There are all sorts of girls for all sorts of guys.

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  • because physically, yes you do have to be "normal" which few people actually are. Our human subconscious looks for physical traits in people that make them ideal mates i.e. symmetrical features, ideal waist hip ratio etc. What really does attract people without the physical side is a genuine personality and friendliness.

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    • i would argue that the 'game' attracts people. the way you treat someone and interact with someone. if you rub them just the right way, you're manipulating them into falling for you, because in the process you're making them feel inadequate and denting their self-esteem.

      because why can ugly, fat, or both ugly and fat guys sometimes attract pretty girls, because they have 'game'. a game that actually fools someone into thinking they've fallen for someone by in reality, hurting them.

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    • i want an attractive woman, the only thing there seems to be out there though are attractive 'girls', not women. the thing is, if attractive girls just grew up and accepted that they have faults and need to work on them, and come back down to earth, they'd be the perfect partners! but the longer they just blame guys, after dating a real sleaze bag to begin with, for their failed relationships, they will simply not ever find the right man. the only thing is I don't want to settle for a woman.

    • you'll find one, you just gotta wait. A lot of my guy friends have the same problem...

What Guys Said 1

  • it is dumb... so just be yourself. Grow, become... why even fall for that nonsense... the herd mentality never works... a man is meant to be a man... not some sheeple in a herd

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    • that's what I try to do. be a leader not a follower, actually be a good man, that so many woman ask for, yet reject when its right in their faces, again, for odd, unknown reasons. some say nice guys finish last though, and some say they never even finish at all. and that's the thing. I'm not even remotely ugly. I'm not exactly the sexiest guy in the world either, but to women the sexy guy is the typical thug which I described in the question. so dumb indeed.

    • to hell with that crap... just be yourself and live your life

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