How do you ask a girl out? Do you ask her to hang out? I don't get it, people say don't ask her out first

I've never had a girlfriend before, so I don't know what are you supposed to do first, ask her out? or ask her to hang out? what's the difference? because this one girl told me when she was giving me advice, when I told her I got rejected by a girl when I asked her out , she said to me "you shouldn't have asked her out, you should have asked her to hang out", so what is the difference? and how do I ask a girl out in which I'm implying it is not a date, it is just hanging out.

Updates:
and what are good places, an activity to do on a "first date", or "first hang out?", like where to go? because I already know that girls hate indecisive guys unfortuneately, because I already know one of the reasons why the typical "nice-guy" finishes last, and I know this is an easy mistake to prevent, when asking a girl out, or to hang out, don't say "wherever you want is fine with me", Be a Man and Take Action!, although I think it's sexist it is what girls want, so I will do it
also, there is this girl I have been getting to know lately, we met at the Dog Park where we both take our Dogs, but I'm wondering if it is a good idea to ask her out, or just "hang out" whatever when she is with her friends or her Mom, because generally she shows up there with her Mom, if only she was alone I'd feel more comfortable doing it

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'd ask her if she wants to grab coffee

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What Girls Said 2

  • Hanging out I guess is more casual where as the other implies a date (as that is the point of asking out) I guess if you don't know the person well you should ask her to hang out. This allows you to spend more time with her and get to know each other better. I suppose its almost to see if you 'click'? (I have no experience with this sort of thing really)

    Basically, my friend recently tried to set me up. We haven't met up but I believe he may want to (we've talked online a bit) if he doesn't breach the subject then I'll likely ask if he wants to hang out. If I asked him on a date then there may also be expectations and its better to keep it casual, makes it more comfortable, at first

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  • ask her out to a theme park

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What Guys Said 5

  • The idea is to make it a low pressure style date. The objective shouldn't be to be as romantic as possible, it should be to put yourself in a situation where you and the girl are more or less alone so that you can get to know each other a little bit better. Try phrasing the question like so: "would you like to go grab some coffee?" as opposed to "would you like to go out with me?"

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  • Well you can apporach it two ways and it really depends how comfortable you are with the girl or if you've just met her etc. If you ask her to hang out with you, then she may take it as a friends things, but you also have the opportunity to get to know her and get her to like you more, but you also run the risk of just wasting your time with a girl who is interested in hanging out with you, getting you to bring her places, buy her things and has no intentions of being your girlfriend, so you may be let down at some point. If you ask her out in a way that's clear that it is a date, you can pretty much find out right off the bat if she is interested in you and if she isn't, sure you've been rejected but you've also saved yourself a lot of time and getting rejected in a milder fasion down the road. I say ask her out... don't ask her to hang.

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    • i'd really ask her out if she was alone

  • For your updated question... yes, ask her out. Dog Parks are killer spots to meet girls. Here's a trick, when she's off playing with her doggy start up a conversation with the mom and be a smooth gentlemen. Then the next time you see her, wait until she isn't with her friends or her mom... I"m sure she must wander around at some point. Then you can ask her out. If she tells her mom, you won't be embarrased because her mom will probably tell her what a nice guy you are and that she should go out with you haha. .

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    • i've already been talking to her for almost 2 weeks now at the Dog Park

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    • Bah... forget Facebook. I'd just ask for her number. Tell her you know a really cool spot to take your dogs and she should come with your sometime. Hand her your phone and tell her to put her number in.

    • and what do I do first? ask her out or tell her I like her?

  • That one girl who was giving you advice is just a game player. If you like a girl, you ask her out on an actual date, where you have to put some thought and effort into it. Ask to hang out and she's going to think that not only do you only want sex, but you don't even want to feed her first.

    It's better if you talk to them enough that you know the answer is going to be yes before you ask.

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    • i've been wanting to ask her out lately, except the problem is that whenever I get to see her in person, she is either with her mom or a friend or 2, I'd feel more comfortable doing it when she is alone, and it is more embarassing getting a reaction from a family or friend

  • god I wish I knew too

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