How do black girls feel about the views on beauty in society?

Not trolling, honest. Just curious about how black girls feel about the views on beauty in society. Most White guys usually aren't attracted to them, same for Asians from what I've heard (just what I've heard). Some Latinos like them but black guys like them most and even some of them prefer other women. Most women depicted as beautiful on TV are not black, most beauty pageant winners are not black, and many average guys say they don't see many beautiful black girls. Also they have the highest statistic for being unmarried by a certain age and the highest rate for fatherless homes (though that isn't really their fault nor should it be based on beauty) and many of them ate single. Black women who are successful have a hard time getting men as well. They're judged for their hair, their facial features, body types, and sometimes their skin. More black guys like White girls and others than White guys and others like black women.

How do you all feel about this? Is it frustrating? Do you not care?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I honestly don't care I like my features, my curves, my hair, and my skin and throwing a fit about it won't change the minds of anyone who feels that I should'nt. You can go back and fourth with a person til you're blue in the face but if that's how they feel that's how they feel.

    You would actually be shocked at how many white guys are into black women, I date white men lol and they've all approached me and they've all come from different lifestyles, "The Jock", "The Rich Kid", The Wigger", The Nerd" "The Rocker, "The Emo", "The Country Boy", and "The City Boy" so I can't be hideous...

    and plus at the end of the day, when I'm all alone looking in the mirror I have to love what I see, there's nobody there to tell me what I should look like or that I'm beautiful and as long as I love what I see simple minded people don't matter..

    and this question didn't offend me you never said those were your views you're just stating what you've heard or witnessed on tv..and even if that is how you feel idc that's your opinion

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What Girls Said 25

  • to be honest it is depressing that we are viewed that way. Personally, I couldn't care less. I've personally been hit on by guys of all races (except Asian for some reason lol) so I don't really see it being applied in my life. To be honest I actually have more white guys hit on me and I live in Toronto where its very multicultural. Not really trying to be controversial here but I think it is because I have a lighter skin tone and we are more socially accepted or viewed as attractive. In no way am I saying I think I'm better but in general does society and the media seem to portray it that way? yeah I think they do.

    I personally don't like when people say they aren't attracted to a certain race. Yeah OK you can't choose who you like yadda yadda blah blah blah but to say you aren't attracted to 100% of a certain race is ridiculous and racist in my opinion. I'm sure there is at least one person out there from x race that you would be attracted to.

    Basically, it is hurtful and depressing to hear that and see it reinforced in a lot of places. Even on this site you have people say stuff about how black girls are unattractive *sigh*

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    • You make a great point!

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    • Mmmm, people on this site tend to be bitter and angry hun. I wouldn't pay much attention to it.

      I see interracial couples all of the time(black female/white male) and they seem like genuinely happy couples. Plenty of guys love and admire black girls or in general, just attractive girls.

      But I get what you're saying about lighter skin and how it's often viewed as "superior" even among blacks ourselves.

  • I don't really get bothered about it aha. I've been with white guys before, so I can't be terribly ugly :P. ..Even small things like makeup commercials on TV have you ever seen a black girl advertising it? Its like they don't acknowledge the fact that there are girls with dark skin, so that can be annoying. Or if they do, it happens to be a person with very light skin aka halle berry. So like another user said on here, society is into lighter skinned black people.

    But then you go on sites like this, and you see the same thing:

    "we are less feminine,"

    "all we care about is size""

    "we are the only group of girls who wear weaves"

    "we have bigger ...umm lady parts" ahah

    "if I ever date a black girl she has to be really exceptional"

    " I couldn't imagine touching a black person, because its offputting"

    so things like that gets annoying :/ I don't understand why we have so much negativity reflected on us.

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  • It's true - as a young black woman, I feel like our beauty is never good enough.

    We don't ever get the praise and recognition as any other type of race in the world. Even Asian women are put on a pedastal for how exotic they are. Black women are the only women in society who just aren't embraced in the same manner.

    It's disheartening. I remember growing up thinking I'll never fall in love, because I'd never be pretty enough for any kind of dude. And realizing I didn't have a remote attraction to black men, made me feel all the worse.

    I won't lie - I use to wish I had pretty white girl hair, smaller lips, colorful eyes - things like that. Sometimes I'd even cry because I felt so awful about myself. Each day was just a simple reminder that I will never be seen as beautiful as those women, or even beautiful at all.

    However as I got older, I realized how off I was. Sure the media and fashion and all that stuff we take to heart as being 100% truth, still doesn't recognize us as beautiful -

    But I and many many others do. Statistics lie - reality speaks a little louder for itself. I've seen all sorts of black woman / white guy / Asian guy / latino guy couples - I've heard white guys go on and on and on about how stunning they think black women are - my mom dated a Hispanic guy who adored black women - my uncle (Korean,) married a black woman.

    On top of all that, I've been hit on by guys all across the color spectrum. It's hard to sit here today and think so harshly about myself in the midst of all that. More and more interracial relationships with black women are appearing every where - typically pairings with white men. I get hit on so much by white guys it's just unbelievable sometimes lol.

    They accept me for my African American features, and appreciate them - I'm exotic and beautiful to them - a concept I never thought any man would have for me.

    But the media and those ideas are so retarded - what makes it even worse is that people are constantly sucking on the media's nuts because everyone's to afraid to be like, hey, I can think for myself.

    I still have my doubts sometimes, and still wish for a day when real black women without all the fake hair, ligtened skin etc - will be shown as beautiful along with all the other beautiful women in the world.

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  • I'm not sure why everyone is getting so upset about this. It's a totally legit question. I mean, I guess I can see why some black girls may be offended but from what I've noticed and my PERSONAL experiences, everything you said is true. (note: I think many black women are attractive but in today's society, they are seen as less attractive. Though personally, I don't like to base beauty on race) anyway, my boyfriend is black. And all my black guy friends prefer white women. and maybe it's just my area but it is what it is. Black girls DO NOT like me, and I havn't done anything to them. I don't have any problems with them at all, they just don't like the fact that my boyfriend is black. I guess they think I'm "stealing their men" but it's not my fault he approached me first, and he wanted to date me. (This is strictly the black girls I know, I can't say anything about other black girls). But I guess if I were black, I wouldn't care. Plenty of men love black women, I wouldn't really care about the ones who didn't.

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  • As a black woman, I feel like I possess one of the most exotic types of beauty in the world. Few other people can have my dark skin (East Indians and Ethiopians which are African), no other ethnicity can have my unique textured, coily hair, it's rare to find brown eyes that are so dark they look black and can just suck you in... I love it. I embrace my features and I wouldn't change them for anyone's approval. I used to be frustrated by society and the media telling black women that we are not as valuable. Then one day, I realized not only is my purpose in this world greater than impressing others with my physical appearance, but all sets of features can be beautiful :)

    I know for a fact that black women who are successful do not have a hard time getting a man. The reasons why a woman may not be able to get a man go deeper than how she looks. Maybe it's the way she acts or how she doesn't act. Black women are not the only women on the face of the Earth who may have difficulty getting a man. Stop clumping us together and trying to despite our value.

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  • I'm black and I go a school that is 98% white school and I don't feel bad most of the time but it is frustrating in the dating area, but I'm hot, sexy and yummy, and if someone can't see that screw them.

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  • I didn't realize I was viewed as least attractive...especially since I can immediately recall guys of every race trying to get in my pants at some point or another.

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    • It happens, I never said it didn't. Just in general it doesn't. You're one girl. That's great though I guess lol

  • coincidentally I only like black men, and latinos so I'm good. don't care what whites and Asians think

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  • I'm part black & very happy to be biracial.

    Thanks for taking the time to type out your stupidity :P

    Oh, by the way, I've ONLY ever had white guys ask me out and approach me :) Black guys rarely do & the guy I'm currently in talks with is middle eastern. There goes your theory.

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    • You're biracial. I was referring to girls who aren't biracial. I'm pretty sure mixed girls are seen as attractive in general, gorgeous even in many cases. Thanks for playing. Try again next time.

    • I"m still part black. Point still stands.

  • stop trolling! you can't base one or two uglies from a certain group and say everyone is ugly from that race. and what do the rest of the stastics have to do with beauty in the first place?

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    • I don't think he was saying that, he was just asking about the streotype.

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    • Not true. Beauty is only part of the equation. Black women hav a lot against them in terms of the worst stereotypes as women, stereotypes about their culture, stigmas and ingrained ideas about status in society, and things like that. When one group has significantly less rates of marriage by a certain age, there's a question to be raised. At leat for those who like to know things. There's a Lack of attraction toward them, both in beauty and ideas on who they are as people.

    • thats all it it.. a stereotype! not all of it is true. I know a lot of successul black women and men who are doctors, lawyers, grew up with BOTH parents and had kids when married and who are FULLY black(whatever that means since NOBODY including yourself is full anything). you cannot base a sterotype on everyone. that is ignorant thinking. there is beauty, ugly, stigmas and stereotypes for all races. as before you can't just base your findings on everyone

  • I care cus I am a black female who does not understand why race has to be an issue, and I believe I'm pretty. I think there comes a time where we have to believe we are pretty, when you believe it others will see the confidence and believe, and we have to carry ourselves in appropriate manner, it's sad that some people that represent the black female type. Have really made us look bad, with video vixens and reality TV, stars people should not judge us by our skin but what we have to offer

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  • I don't pay attention

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  • Why do you care?

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  • I want to go to Europe on day because Europeans cherish African Americans more than the U. S does.

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  • I never really cared I. Stopped straightening my hair I started in 8th grade because other black girls teased me not other races

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  • I'm least attracted to white and Asians so their idea of me doesn't matter..and even if I am I know they'll be prejudice and who wants people like that around them

    And what do you care its not like your gona do anything about it

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  • You should not ask this question here because you know that most of the people are being hypocrite.Many comments here said it doesn't matter and they find black women are attractive and all but everyone know tht fact(never want to admit it).You can know many hypocrites here. When comes to vote for skin colour,light skin got the highest votes. See? I bet some commenters here think tht black women are unattractive but left such a hypocrite comments.I didn't mean to make black women feel bad as I'm not white myself but thts the world now,its life.Sorry If my answer made anyone feel bad.

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  • There are many people who are the exceptions to everything you've said and that is enough to make someone believe that even with those statistics they are their own person. They don't have to care because what you've said doesn't necessarily apply to them. I personally don't really care.

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    • You're pretty for a black girl :) lol

    • Why thankyou Mr. G-Dazzle, I'll take that as a complement :D

  • the media loves spreading propaganda about blacks and this season, black women are the target. Nothing new. However I have a problem with people outside the black community speaking on us, when they have no clue. The few white people who even associate with blacks probably only have a handful of token black friends who are whitewashed assimilated. Meaning, they love to be around whites and don't connect with most black people so taking your stats and info from them is pointless cause their mentalities are warped anyway. African Americans pretty much stick to ourselves, especially if you live in the southern united states, most of you are going on stereotypes and hearsay instead of 1st hand fact. If you are not black, I'm not really sure why you care so much but I'll answer anyway

    Most black women will only date black men. I will say at least 75% of black women have no desire to date outside of their race and would not do it. Trust me, I know a lot of black people seeing as I am one and so are the majority of my friends and family. The black women who are interested and attracted to others are a minority in the first place, and seem to usually date latin men first, then arab/Muslim, ethnic white (italian, greek) then whites and asians.

    Majority of black men prefer us. The few who are vocal about disliking us do it because they have been rejected by black women in the past for some reason or have been raised to date white to assimilate. The standard of beauty in our community is light skin black girls but they are black women who look black. No mistaking the average yellowbone for a white girl because that's not what they want. Black men do like latinas but white girls? The guys who date white girls are usually the ones we don't want. Sorry!

    TV is not controlled by blacks, it is controlled by whites and whites are 72% of the population. why would they put us on TV when there are more whites watching it?

    Since you like stats so much check these from Howard University: link

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  • Question asker, how many black people do you even know? It sounds like you get all your info about us from the media and then try and act like it's fact that applies to all of us. Seriously, do you know any black women personally at all?

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    • It sounds like its based on one long stereotype from too much mtv, I wouldn't take his comments to heart or as a representation of anyone elses opinion but his, as far as I can dell it seems diluted

    • Before I answer that, just curious, how is that relevant? I was talking about how many people view black women and standards of beauty that are upheld by society in general. What differences would it make if I knew any black women or not ? Is my association with people going to change the way millions of people view them, how society stigmatizes them, how the media portray them? I support gay marriage but that isn't going to make most states legalize it or stop people from kicking their asses

    • Because the society and media says one thing, but real life says another. Not all stereotypes are true.

  • I'm not black, but I feel like society, in this day and age, are still into light skinned people, even when it comes to black people.

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  • i don't know why people are hating on you. it's a completely legitimate question.

    i'm white but my last boyfriend was black and he's never dated black girls nor does he want to. a lot of other black guys I know aren't attracted to black girls either. and most other races aren't... I mean it's just the way things are, not being racist or anything.

    and this guy is asking about your average black girl, not tyra or beyonce or other models. honestly I think every race has it's own good features and its own not so good features, but if I were a black girl I think I would feel a little frustrated. again, not being racist, this guy is onto something true even though it's kind of hard to admit.

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    • I agree, and I was actually thinking the same thing but was worried I'm being over sensitive because I'm directly effected.

    • i mean, you can definitely still find the man of your dreams, which is what really matters (yay!) but to be completely honest, I think the dating field is a tad bit harder for your race.

      but I find black people sexy ha ha :D

  • It really doesn't affect me because I'm coincidentally only attracted to black and some latino men. So I don't care what whites, Asians and other guys find attractive. One thing that does p*ss me off is that people will slander us and be rude for no reason. Like if you don't like black girls, great, but keep us out of your mouths. It could be something on the internet about "black women" and some idiot will make it a point to say how we're all mean, ghetto, etc. when they probably only know 3 black women total. Most black guys, at least the ones I've come across, prefer black women or at least women with black features. I don't see that many black guys chasing after white girls like the stereotype says. I don't have a problem getting a guy and neither do most of my friends, black guys don't leave us alone actually. Most black people live and work in black communities so the average nonblack isn't going to know or see that many of us anyway. I was raised not to care what they think because due to racism people are always going to see us at the bottom so why try to be accepted by people who don't like you anyway?

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    • BTW many black girls get hit on and approached by men of all races all the time. we just turn them down because most of us prefer our own men.

  • There are so many beautiful black women: beyonce, megan good, naomi campbell, tyra banks ...

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  • Just because you see them as the least attractive doesn't count for sh*t. I've seen some drop dead gorgeous black girls.

    You sound like a d***.

    P.S. I've dated only white boys so I debunk your theory of 'most white guys aren't usually attracted to them, same for Asians'. Thanks. <3

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    • I didn't say I don't find them attractive. Learn to read.

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    • I'm sorry you must not live in this world, my mistake. Totally cool. If you're that ignorant about things then this conversation is pretty much pointless.

    • Haha. Thanks for sharing all those facts. Clearly you know exactly what you're talking about.

What Guys Said 7

  • Black girls are highly attractive, what are you smoking? Speak for yourself, no one else

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    • when you described black girls features as unnattractive. tI actually like those things about them you described. It sounds like you are speaking from a very onesided perspective. If you dont;t like them than don't worry about what other people think abvout them

  • Since I'm dumb enough to respond to just about any topic with the words "tomboy" or "black" in it.

    I just want to clear one thing up on what you said. And get this...this is in the defense of black women. At least the beauty part. Ohh noes!

    "but black guys like them most and even some of them prefer other women."

    This has nothing to do with their beauty or lack off. Most if not all of the time it's due to one, the "reject" black guys with little to no swag, jumped ship to the other side where substance is required more than swag and hyper masculinity. And two, it's because a lot of black women are less submissive and more matriarchal than other women is another reason why black men jumped ship.

    Oh and when it comes to sex appeal, black women are high on the charts. Especially in the p0rn industry. Lacey Duvalle and Jada Fire are examples. There's plenty of attractive black women in the media, but they are all either mixed with another race or white women dipped in chocolate which infuriates me.

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  • i think what you fail to realize is that no matter what race you are you're either average ugly or hot. race has nothing to do with it.

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  • But they aren't seen as least attractive. Your question makes no sense.

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  • natural selection at work.

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  • I love black women, help me with my question! link

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  • I don't have any input on this, but I'm just curious as to where on Earth you heard that white guys don't find Asians attractive? Asian chicks are usually like...the archetype of hotness.

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    • I think he was saying that Asian don't find black woman attractive

    • Ah, I see now. I guess I just jumbled the letters/words around, my eyes do that sometimes o_O

    • I think little miss smartie pants is the only one who understands me lol yes I was saying Asians usually aren't attracted to black women

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