The subject is about us black guys, what's your view?

I have a curiosity question.

So how do you women want your black guys, style wise. Because from what I've heard, most women want their dark meat as a thug type or G'd out. But I never grew up in the ghetto per say and so I was never really a thug or a G. My father is a minister and both my parents teach, and I grew up pretty fortunate, not rich by any means, but not poor or in too rough a neighbourhood either. I ask this because most thugs are thugs for a reason. From the way they came up in life and being a thug or a G isn't really a style at all, it's just the only way they know how to live or it's the way it is where they are from.

That's why I kind of think it's funny how some people perceive non-thug blacks, like it's a bad thing or something.

I wonder what you girls or guys think on my observation, not really a question I guess. Oh, and don't hold back no matter how strongly your comment is going to be. I'm a big boy and heard a lot of sh*t thrown at me growing up, so don't be afraid to voice your opinions : ).

By the way, this isn't a cry for black power or to point out racists or racism in this site or in life in general. It's there, and it's going to be there long after we're gone. But it's slowly changing. I've lived with it all my life, and have learned to accept that's how things are.

Actually I don't know how the question could be viewed as being a lash out to racism. I'm sorry if people view it as that. Not my intention and I apologies. It's just a view on pref. thugs or non-thug


Most Helpful Guy

  • Just a little about myself: I grew up in the ghetto/poor, but did some time in the suburbs, went to predominately white high schools for 3 years, and enjoyed every minute of it. I'm the black sheep of the black community. I don't have the thug/hood look, talk, swag, game, and I'm less masculine physically compared to black men. Yeah, I can give dap, know some ebonics, local slang, and have more game and flavor that "Brad" and "Chad" but that's about it. Women literally turned there noses up at me and ran away from me as if I'm a diseased animal. In short, I had and still have a hard time fitting in with my own people.

    "most women want their dark meat as a thug type or G'd out."

    - This and the athlete (Basketball and football player) is the only black man that's promoted in the media and in the black communities. The thug/hood guys are the ONLY men the majority of black women (32 and under) value. Over 32 years old, the matriarchal submissive simp is desirable, but that's another topic. I even seen some black girls hook up with the hood white guys over the brothas with a brain. Some would say it's there overwhelming swag, style, game, & confidence and others would say they are simply used to those kind of guys to the point they have no idea how to approach, behave, or even talk to the guys with there noses in the books and/or is trying to learn and become something. One of the reasons why these swagless non thug guys are picked up by other races (namely white women) or they jumped shipped because over there, substance (having a brain and something going for yourself) is more valued that acting hard or cool via swag.

    Most of these thugs are fake. Every random group of six you gather, I guarantee at least one of them has his noses in the books and another that's staying back in school for help. The guys and girls he hangs around has no idea what they are trying to do because studying and having book knowledge is not valued by a lot of younger (under 32) BW and BM. Unfortunately, the other four are just too far gone and won't wake up until there about 40 years old or never.

    • You have some really good points there. I've had questions from white women, how come I always date white women or how come I don't date black women. I've been with black women, not many mind you. Most of the women I've either been with or have been attracted to me have been white or another race. My thinking is that most black women in North Amer. are so focused on having a brotha that is street and makes LOADS of cash. Usually those brothas are hard thugs who get cash by illegal means.

What Girls Said 2

  • Idk I'm young and my genration is kinda different(I was born in early/almost mid 90s)so my view may be different but I grew up in a mixed culture wise community(well there weren't a lot of whites and I don't really get along with them but yet people call me white washed)..I live in the city but. I say I want a thugish guy because he's tough and kinda the bad boy type but to be honest I don't think I want that anymore because I don't like guys with tattoos or that smoke.

    I keep hearing how eduated african American women are single and stuff and its discouraging because usually the educated black men have a girlfriend that's outside their race which is fine but then what's left over?few and those few might have to juggle around a few girls to 'keep them happy' making me believe they're mostly players.

    Then there's the issue of my hair not being straight.Some guys like it but most guys my race don't at least in my area(well older guys do but I'm not trying to get with them)

    I have mostly black female friends but zero black male(not even african)idk why but I think its because I have few classes with them and the ones I do are mixed and don't seem to be bothered..when I talk to african American guys my age range I'm afraid I'm not what they're use to because my voice and actions and style. Isn't "black"(according to my friends).I guess that's why I haven't had a boyfriend and when guys outside my school try to talk to me its always the type I don't like.Plus people tell me I look african but my friends say it like its a bad thing.eventhough we all orignated from there I sadly don't know what part I'm from so I don't call myself that but even Africans(ones that had parents from Africa and not U.S.)even mistake me for it.My dad is from the U.S. and my is from south America but people think she's Islander or African...sorry most of that was repressed rambling

  • I'm black and I grew up in the suburbs too, so I relate better to a suburban type guy. Yeah, a lot of women do go for the hood dudes but that is because a lot of them have this confidence about them that is really sexy and make you feel protected. I've met a number of suburban/fortunate black men who are very attractive to women as well.

    Do I like these black boys who act white? No. But I'm not the type who thinks that if you're not hood you're automatically a sellout/act white either. It's hard to explain, but the type of black guys who are like the only black guy in their group of friends and constantly hang around nonblacks are not my type. I need a guy who is proud of who he is and doesn't try so hard to conform or assimilate. I like educated guys that have some swag.

    • Well I made a comment about how most North Amer. black women feel that they want a brotha street and with LOADs of cash. Well I stand corrected considering you're the exact opposite. A friend of mind made a good point. In our society, unfortunately, blacks are portrayed as thugs who are against comformity. Just look at almost any hip hop vid. Cash flying, cars, half nakedness, G'd out. You wn't see Obama or MLK or say a black guy as a dentist, teacher, scientist, etc. It's not desired.

    • Well like attracts like. If you are from the street and that's what you're raised around, that's what you'll like. I haven't dated a guy like that and my friends don't date street dudes either. People like us don't stand out and ghetto people are seen as the norm to society, but that's not the case. You will never see black male dentists, real estate agents, doctors and business owners advertised because that's not what "they" want you to see, but they're in my community and I see them

What Guys Said 2

  • Stop playing the race card.

    • LOL the race card. As soon as a black guy asks a question about being black and how people view them, we get labelled as saying, oooohhh poor me, I'm a black guy, I have no chance in life, blah blah blah. I'm not even coming from there. Like I said, I grew up pretty fortunate and have a very good life right now. Racism/Stereotyping/Prejud. is out there and will always be there, including judgement calls like yours. No shock. That's one view that has been skewed by us and society, I get it.

    • Show All
    • What does looking like a thug or being G'd out have to do with you as a person? What does coming from a wealthy background have to do with you as a person? NOTHING. If you're a great guy, you're gonna get your women, regardless of whether or not you look thug or rich.

    • Like I said before, being a thug has nothing to do with style. It's a part of who they are. The style comes from how their friends or people in their area dress. It's also an attitude thing. So you're right, clothing or money doesn't make the man, and I'm not questioning that. But, people tend to think it is a style or you wouldn't see non-thug whites wanting to dress thuggish to try and attract G'd out girls or to hang with thugs or be apart of that lifestyle.

  • The G'd out look is totally childish and stupid if you ask me. It's suitable for teenagers perhaps but there comes an age where it's time to look respectable.

    • I totally agree. Pant's hanging off their asses and sh*t. I mean it has a place and the type of people that wear their clothes like that is usually because that's the way everyone dresses in their neighbourhoods growing up. Plus, depending what type of career you want to pursue, it's not the most acceptable attire for many careers. I mean it not just how you look, it's how people judge the way you look. It's a fact of life unfortunately. But there are exceptions and open minded people.