Why do some men control what their women wear?

my husband does this. he won't let me wear skirts or dresses. the only thing that he lets me wear is pants and a tank top. I even put shorts under my skirt and dresses but he still won't let me. I recently bought a dress off hot topic.com and I put it on and he said "your wearing that" and I said yes and then he said "were not going any where. by the way he's 38 and I'm 22. I don't know if it has to do with his age or being insecure or what but he's bringing my self esteem down and I'm trying so hard to not let him get to me. he doesn't up at all and is overweight and doesn't have style anymore because he gained weight but if he really loved me then he wouldn't control what I wear. no rude comments please.

Updates:
if your going to be rude you will get blocked.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • All men are basically the same. They see a pretty girl showing a lot of skin and go "ya!" Then they see other guys looking at her and go "what's wrong with you woman? put something on!" My guess is that he really liked the way you were dressing... and thought other men might like the way you were dressing too.

    My ex used to do this to me as well. I couldn't get out the door without him pointing out at least three things that he didn't like about the way I dressed. I was really hurt, and for a while I actually thought that he was right. But then I started to realize that women complimented me on my outfits pretty regularly. And men always liked me. And I knew that if I was dressing provocatively, my mother would lecture me about it for a year. So I eventually figured out that it was him.

    If it didn't bother you to dress the way he is suggesting, I would say "let it go" (there are better reasons to fight). But since it is interfering with your self esteem, I think you should have a talk with him. Let him know that you have a right to dress any way that you would like, and that if he doesn't like it, he knows where the door is. He has a right to ask you to change... and you have a right to say no.

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What Guys Said 2

  • It appears he's trying to exhibit some sense of control because in reality, he feels very insecure about the strength of your relationship, most likely due to his lack of sense of competency. I would understand if he felt uncomfortable with you wearing something scandalously provocative but if your clothing choices are modest, that's unreasonable of him. You should either talk about it when him in hopes of fixing it or consider the possibility of leaving him.

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  • Why do woman control what their men wear...

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    • That is a mature answer. You really stretched for that one, didn't you?

    • Yes, I thought about what I was going to say for like 30 min before I finally decided. I came to the conclusion that I am starting to hate when people ask these types of questions and only mention one sex, like guys and girls don't both do it. It's a people problem, not a male, or female problem.

What Girls Said 5

  • Insecurity

    Abusive tendencies

    Controlling

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  • You have really set yourself up for this at some point. Think about when this happened. And why did you allow it to happen? He is definitely afraid that someone is going to be attached to you & he'll lose you. You need to talk to him & tell him that clothes are not going to keep the two of you together. But his controlling what you wear is going to tear you apart.

    Tell him that from now on you are going to wear what you want & you two are going out together. If he can't handle it, then you will have to leave. His choice.

    Be firm & hang in there girl. He will lighten up.

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  • It doesn't matter why he's doing it. It could be because he's insecure and he doesn't want other people to check you out. Or it could be his way of knocking your confidence down so you won't want to leave him.

    But whatever the reason is, this guy is controlling and abusive. BeerY33 is right, if you care about your happiness, this is not a relationship you should be in.

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    • And second of all, you're your own person... He doesn't "let" you do anything. If you wanna wear a dress and he tells you no, tell him to go to hell and keep wearing it.

  • that's abuse. you need to leave him.

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    • @update: I hope you don't think this is rude! I'm really serious. You should get out of this relationship.

    • no I don't think what your saying is rude

    • good. I hope you take it seriously!

  • You should't let him do that...

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