Guy is quick to make lingering flirty eye contact with any girl we see out. Am I wrong to be offended?

It's happened since our very first time hanging out together when we went out to a club after dinner. He immediately zeroed in on a girl across the bar and began smiling and lingering eye contact. It happens all the time and I'm starting to feel bad. He claims he's not a player and is really into me/wants a relationship. He acts really sweet and always wants to know what's on my mind. Then, as soon as we go out someplace, he flirts heavily with every girl who crosses our path. One friend told me he prob. has low self-esteem and needs to be constantly validated. However, should that be a 'red flag'? I really need other guys' advice. Thanks in advance for any input guys. He seems to say one thing, then act completely different when other girls are around...is this just normal/something I shouldn't be worried about, as long as he's *with me*, as some have suggested? ~So confused(!)

Updates:
Wow, thanks so much everyone. You know it's funny...every single one of you said the same thing. I feel my instincts were right, as you commented. I am a little disappointed because at first he had my hopes up, but I know that I can never be comfortable with this behavior. I kind of felt he was too good to be true. I will give him about a 7 or 8 on his playing skills though lol I really appreciate everyone's well-thought out responses...take care.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Most players won't admit to the girl that they're players; it'd kill their game. Player or not, though, him making eyes and flirting with other girls while you two are out is entirely unacceptable. I'll admit that I also have low self-esteem and crave validation, but the thought of flirting with other girls when I'm out with a girl has never even crossed my mind, so I don't buy that as an excuse.

    I think your instinct is worth following; it definitely shows up as a red flag to me.

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What Guys Said 1

  • yeah, he's got some issues, I would never do that lol

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What Girls Said 2

  • I know you are looking for guys advice but that is a red flag. A quick glance when he thinks you are not looking is normal, we all do it, but lingering flirty eye contact is just plain disrespectful to you, no matter what his reason is. He might as well be asking for their number right in front of you and introduce you as his sister.

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  • i know a guy just. like. this! he is very insecure, I think your friend is right. even tho you may feel sorry for him,i would forget about him. how come he can get away with it and not you? And chances are the second he finds a girl he likes better than you he'll tell you he jsut wants to be friends and you'll be there like huh? that's my experience anyway. You won't ever feel secure and it is bringing you down for him to do that while he is with you. Go for someone who treats you special ;)

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